I'm not sure when the flashback with the field and Lelouch and Suzaku surrounded by all the dead Japanese (with Nunnallyon Lelouch's back) comes into play vs. the fight that leads to Suzaku's father's death, but depending on the order I suspect that also plays a HUGE role in Suzaku's thinking.
Even if it is premeditated, which to me nothing has been shown to prove it was. Except in the one version of events where he does it to save Nunnally and Lelouch. In the actual flashback imagery the viewer sees it certainly looks like a bad decision made in the heat of the moment when Suzaku is no more than 10. (I'd also like to note his father actually loses his temper and gets violent first and shoves/slaps Suzaku away) Even now at 17 on the best of days I would argue (despite my love of Suzaku who is my favorite character) he's not the sharpest tool in the shed. Can you really tell me you think a 10 year is completely capable of pre-meditated murder and completely thinking through the consequences?? Because I admit, I don't think most 10 year olds are. I believe the law in most countries also doesn't think they are.
I don't think it is hypocritical to want to be a better person than you are, which is what Suzaku is doing. Suzaku acts all noble because that is the person he wants to be. I don't think he wants to be suicidal so much as he is. His very selfish reasons are to assuage his guilt which I think to him makes it impossible for him to actually be noble. He has horrible low self-esteem which is one reason why I think Euphie's love is so important to him. To me it's not a romantic love at all, it's a more motherly love which gives value to him. I think Suzaku sincerely does care about Japan. I think to him somehow his death, particularly if it is heroic will prove to everyone how great the Japanese are and make up for his one big mistake at 10.
I do think Suzaku truly believes the only way to change things are from the inside. And I would argue that if Lelouch/Zero had not geassed Euphie when he did, Suzaku would have been right.
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Even if it is premeditated, which to me nothing has been shown to prove it was.
Except in the one version of events where he does it to save Nunnally and Lelouch.In the actual flashback imagery the viewer sees it certainly looks like a bad decision made in the heat of the moment when Suzaku is no more than 10. (I'd also like to note his father actually loses his temper and gets violent first and shoves/slaps Suzaku away) Even now at 17 on the best of days I would argue (despite my love of Suzaku who is my favorite character) he's not the sharpest tool in the shed. Can you really tell me you think a 10 year is completely capable of pre-meditated murder and completely thinking through the consequences?? Because I admit, I don't think most 10 year olds are. I believe the law in most countries also doesn't think they are.I don't think it is hypocritical to want to be a better person than you are, which is what Suzaku is doing. Suzaku acts all noble because that is the person he wants to be. I don't think he wants to be suicidal so much as he is. His very selfish reasons are to assuage his guilt which I think to him makes it impossible for him to actually be noble. He has horrible low self-esteem which is one reason why I think Euphie's love is so important to him. To me it's not a romantic love at all, it's a more motherly love which gives value to him. I think Suzaku sincerely does care about Japan. I think to him somehow his death, particularly if it is heroic will prove to everyone how great the Japanese are and make up for his one big mistake at 10.
I do think Suzaku truly believes the only way to change things are from the inside. And I would argue that if Lelouch/Zero had not geassed Euphie when he did, Suzaku would have been right.