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code_geass2008-10-02 12:55 am
karumachan.livejournal.com) wrote in code_geass2008-10-02 12:55 am
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Requiem: Chapter 01, Dirt covered hands
chapter 1 is finished, you can read it behind the cut for LJ readers but there is also a link to the FF.net version for those who like to read it there. Somehow I love to write while being drunk =P and guess what I am, ha ha. My spelling is still good though XD
Title: Code Geass: Requiem
Chapter: 01, Dirt covered hands
Pairing: Suzaku / Lelouch (but includes the rest of the cast as well)
Spoilers: Set after the series
Summary: A man walks this world his name and history unknown however the face he carries is one of a man who has sinned, a man he doesn't remember being, a man named Lelouch vi Britannia.
FF.net link:
www.fanfiction.net/s/4566113/2/
“And now the world can be unified at one table, not through military force, but through negotiation and talk. It can embrace the future.”
Something was wrong here. This had to be a joke of some kind, but he couldn’t help but feel that this might indeed be real because there were enough people in the world that would do this after everything that even involved his name or mention, however to him it still seemed like a sick joke. The bouquet of white roses fell to the ground, the white leaves staining with fresh brown dirt that surrounded the nameless grave that stood alone. The air was dim and grey and it had already been raining, he carried no umbrella because he felt that it wasn’t needed.
He had decided that this were to become his monthly routine, to come and bring him flowers and to note him that he was not forgotten. The tombstone carried no name, there was no indication that someone was buried here either yet only he and a few others knew of this location. Only they knew where the devil had been buried and now it seemed that he was missing from his cave.
“Lelouch...”
His mouth let out a whisper, it was the only thing visible because a long hood covered the rest of his face. The whisper came out as a calling as if he expected someone near him, as if he expected that the hole in his heart was merely walking around ready to fill him up again. Bending down to his knees he rethought his previous theory, it had been about a week since his death but since no one knew who was buried here it made no sense that they might have robbed this grave. Also as he now ran his hands over the collapsed fresh dirt did he realise that there were no signs of digging, in fact by the sight of the scene he’d even conclude that something broke out but that was impossible.
“That is.. impossible.”
He whispered out, repeating his previous thoughts as his widened eyes scanned the ground for any signs and his hand traced over to what he believed was an imprint of fingers dug into the dirt, as if they clung to it for life. Lelouch couldn’t be alive, even if so where would he go? He looked over his shoulder at the dirt ridden path that led back to the man road, he then noticed footprints in them, sunk deep into the fresh mud and with that he became instantly afraid of what had happened. His phone vibrated and instantly a hand dug into one of his pockets.
“Hello...”
“Zero-sama, your plane is waiting. Nunnally-denka is set to leave at dawn.”
“I see, thank you. I’ll be right there.”
“Suzaku you will become a hero. You will become Zero, saviour of the world, who rescued everyone from the enemy of the world, Emperor Lelouch vi Britannia.”
That’s right, He was no longer the Knight of 0 or the man he used to be, Kururugi Suzaku. He had taken the offered mask without realising its consequence and now he was Zero, the man he once hated and the man who now was in the Empress her service, the 100th Empress Nunnally vi Britannia. He lived a live of regret and carried that weight on his shoulder as he passed out his own happiness for the others to receive, this weight was put on his shoulder by no other than the person he loved and kissed, it was put there by a person no other than the one he had stabbed in his heart with a long sword. He picked up the flowers and placed them in front of the open grave, it was useless he knew but he didn’t know what to do with them and them lying there was simply a symbol, he hadn’t forgotten about Lelouch and his sacrifice, he still loved him and wished every day and night that he was still here, hugging him from behind and whispering in his ears that everything would be alright, that he would forgive him for this.
He snorted and realised that he was getting emotional. He rubbed his nose and turned around, still looking over his shoulder with disbelief but also hope, there was nothing he could do right now because his attendance was needed with the Empress but he could still call up the person he felt he could trust with this matter before he left, maybe he could be of service and figure out what had happened. He hoped that the grave hadn’t been robbed, after Lelouch’s death there was an upraise in violence and demonstrations, people even now ran out of their houses every night to celebrate his death and burn whatever possessions they could link to the man they called the Devil, every night they burned portraits and pictures, newspapers and flags. He understood their anger and ignored how they despised the so called Emperor and loyal Knights, because he was one of them. But those things didn’t matter now.
He walked down the dirt road and walked back to the car that stood waiting for him, the former Prince Schneizel walked out and ran up to him with an umbrella. He said nothing and merely continued walking before sitting down in the back seat. He watched as the former Prince settled down in the driver’s seat and waited for his order, this was also a large change: the man sitting there was now his servant, it was one of the things Lelouch did for him, though he never quite understood why he had given out such an order.
“Drive...”
He simply said and pulled back his hood revealing his unchanged brown hair and green eyes, however they had changed and had lost their glamour, they were now cold and heartless and sick of bloodshed. His hand reached into his pocket again and he searched through his contacts, the person he was looking for should be in the list and if not he still knew someone else that might be able to help him out, part of him hoped that Lelouch was alive but another worried that with living he had sealed his existence as a never ceasing target to everything he had done in the past, the people wouldn’t understand him no matter what he told them. He looked out of the window as the car continued on, he could see lights in the distance of a nearby village, the Japanese were celebrating he noted but couldn’t help and mock their stupidity. Raising his phone to his ear he waited for it to be picked up on the other side.
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It was only after he got out that he started to question his surroundings, only then did those details matter to him because before this was visible to him his hands had slammed against the wooden structure with such force that it made his knuckles bleed, but it was all fair for the sake of his survival. He hated the dark space he was born in and the eerie silence made him all the more afraid, his fists continued to slam as this fear clung to him, fuelling his hands with adrenaline as they broke through the wood and now dug into the ground trashing down at him. His hands rubbed his shoulders at the mere thought of that event and he started to shake unwillingly as a result of those memories. He stopped walking and closed his eyes before taking a deep breath, but he only realised that by closing his eyes he would be confronted by darkness once again and thus he opened them again as if he was about to lose his grip on this steady plane, as if he was about to fall down and be swallowed by another dark box.
With his breath still haze he looked around but there was nothing to help him, he knew nothing: no name, no place and most importantly no reason. The first thing he remembered seeing was darkness and the first sounds he heard were whispers of an unknown kind and due to their misunderstanding did they only frighten him more. The rain dropped down on him, it wasn’t much it was merely the start of what was to come. The blood covered hands still clung to his shoulders as he felt these cold tears fall down on him. It was unreal and he opened the palm of his hands in front of him and watched as the rain dropped down on the dirt that covered them, slowly they washed away each piece of sand and he realised that underneath there was be a soft, pale taint of skin.
“Rain...”
He whispered out without realisation to why he knew the word, his face merely tilted as the drops combined and streamed over his skin to fall off his hand and to meet with the floor.
“Pluie... Pluvia...”
He then added and continued this line of words with whatever came first on his mind, unknowingly he spoke in languages he didn’t understand but he knew that these words had one meaning, and that was rain. He studied it as if it were the first thing his eyes had set sight on after he was born. He looked up and felt the rain stinging his eyes, he didn’t close them because he was still afraid that the world would swallow him up from underneath and merely listened as the drops fell down around him, every leaf and every puddle gave out a distinguished and identical sound and he looked down when he saw something else in the distance. Far away from him a light passed over the horizon, a vehicle drove down the road and he watched the light pass through the darkness in wonder. He then noticed more lights in the distance and slowly he strode down the muddy road into their direction.
He nearly stumbled along the way, his legs felt heavy because of the extra gained weight of his soaked clothing, the robe that was previously white but now darkish brown clung to his body and made moving all the more difficult. When he reached the main road the rain seemed to have stopped and with that he looked up, as if he had expected that it to ever fall on him at all times. His eyes widened when he saw something in the sky, a round full moon of sort hidden behind the clouds but still being visible for the naked eye because its glow penetrated the thin clouds that covered it. It is a sign a rebirth, a part of him said and he turned his gaze back to the road that led into what seemed to be a small village consisting of only a few houses. He continued walking and looked around as he did, his eyes passing over every bit of detail as he came along the way, he heard crickets chirp in the fields and saw lights of fireflies pass through the long grass. A dog barked at him as he came closer to the village, the animal showed its teeth and let out a low growl, he gazed at it but continued walking when it started to bite in air.
“It will bite you...”
He whispered and with half open eyes continued his way through the small cottages, several still had lights burning inside them and there was something going on in the street ahead of him. There was a small pile of possessions being burned and a door next to him slammed open, he watched as drunken men stumbled out of the building which was in fact a bar and who then continued to scream up to the sky with a tone he could describe as joy however their words contained curses.
“Death to the demon King!”
“Hail Zero!”
Glass was thrown on the ground and the pile of possessions increased in size as if it were some kind of offering to a God. People passed him from behind and pushed him aside but he remained quiet and observed as if he wasn’t exactly sure what was happening around him.
“People...”
He whispered out as they danced and drank in the streets, strange behaviour and stupid.
“Lelouch vi Britannia, I hope you are burning in hell right now!”
“Lelouch...”
The name sounded familiar but his concentration was broken when something was thrown on the ground in front of him, for a second he could see something that he could best describe as a déjà vu. A foot stepped on what seemed a framed picture and he heard the glass underneath crack, with it the urge for investigation increased as this feeling of déjà vu continued to claim what was left of his consciousness and he knelt down to grab this item, his hand pushing away the leg that was stomping on this person’s paper face.
“What do you think you’re doing?!”
He ignored the stare he received and pulled the item closer to see what was on it. His heart however felt as if it was to break when he stared at the person smiling back at him from that paper page. Looking up he realised that they were burning similar items, he saw newspapers with the headlines printed out saying that the Emperor was dead and that the tyranny was now over. He watched as a familiar face burned to ashes.
“That face...”
He gasped out. The man they proclaimed as the devil King, the one they burned and drank for to celebrate his death as if it was a blessing, that man was him. He remembered his face now, the face of the devil was his.
“Are you still following his rule or something, bastard! Hand over the frame!”
A foot pushed against his shoulder and he fell back, the picture fell down on the ground next to him exposing the portrait of the 99th Emperor. He looked at the man in front of him and noticed how he had gone quiet, the bottle in his hand dropped to the ground and what left of the liquor was inside now spilled out to sink into the Earth.
“Impossible...”
He whispered out and stepped back, several others now heard his pleading voice and looked at him as well.
“A demon, it’s a demon!”
One yelled and now the entire street had gone quiet, no celebrating voices that sung and yelled at the sky instead they watched him and looked as if the devil himself had appeared before them. He tried to avoid their gaze but it was making him nervous, he looked at the picture frame that lay on the ground next to him and his hand rose up to grab it. However before he could even touch it he felt something against his head, he nearly fell flat against the ground when something hit him and with his head leaned forward he could feel something dripping down onto the robe he wore and he raised his hand to the left side of his head. Liquid dripped down between his fingers much like the rain had done before and when he pulled his hand back he saw an ominous dark colour covering it, it was dark outside but from its taint he knew that this was blood.
“Get out!”
“Go back to the hell you came from!”
He yelped when more rocks were thrown to him and shielded his face with his arms to prevent them from hitting his head and face. However the rocks continued to hit him and were soon joined by bottles and glasses. A piece of glass broke against his arms and he pressed his eyes shut when he felt the glass pieces fly around him, several of them cut through his skin and as more items were thrown the more he curled up to protect himself.
“Stop...”
He whispered out in a sob, but the throwing and curses didn’t stop. A moment before this he had crawled out of the ground asking for life and this is what was given to him. These people hated him, but what had he done to receive such payment? He just wanted to live, he just wanted to see..
“...Suzaku”
The voice came in a whisper, a soft cry for help. He didn’t know who this person was, he didn’t know why he was calling his name, all he knew was that he wanted to be with Suzaku. Suzaku was some place safe, some place kind and some place loving. He wanted to see Suzaku.
“Not so tough now are you!”
His eyes widened when he felt a hand around his wrist and he was hauled aside by the man who grabbed him. His voice remained stuck in his throat and his breaths were filled with fear as the unknown person raised his other arm. The man had raised his weapon and he knew what was to come, the old piece of wood would hit him and hurt him, they would kill him. He didn’t want to die, he had to see Suzaku.
“No...”
The courage to speak had returned but was again only a soft whimper claimed by fear and anxiety. He looked at the man’s eyes and saw rage in them, nothing but blind rage. He couldn’t die here, he had to find Suzaku. Suzaku. The arm started to lower and was about to hit him.
“No!”
He yelled out and automatically his still lose hand grabbed the fabric against his heart. Pain throbbed through that area as soon as his voice gained the courage to yell out, to yell out to whatever was safe and to whatever was dangerous. Unknowing the mark against his skin glowed up and a thin line of light surrounded him, casting shadows over the dirty streets. Screams erupted from them and he gasped for air, now both his hands clung to the fabric, pushed against the warm spot on his chest as those around him fell and squirmed in whatever terror was brought to them. The screams seemed familiar and in the midst of them did he see something, a blade in the darkness had stepped forward to him and when the tip barely touched his skin did he open his eyes again.
“That’s right, he killed me...”
“What...?”
The screams had ceased, there were no sounds in the street and then suddenly the rain started again in a heavy fall. He remained still and observed the street before him in fright, the bodies were unmoving and lay scattered from each other, the bonfire slowly vanished as its flames died out in the falling rain and when he saw a hand of one of the villagers move did he decide that it was best for him to get out while he still could.
He got up from the floor, his right hand still clutching his uniform as he swayed and with one last glance did he walk away. The dog that had once braked at him was now silent as the grave and even yelped when he passed, the creature was now afraid of him and he couldn’t disagree with him more. The face he carried scared the people around him and leads them to believing that he was better of dead, this face shouldn’t be seen to anyone if he wanted to life and he wanted that. He wanted to life, he had to find Suzaku. Suzaku was the place where he could find his answers.
“Suzaku...”
He whispered again as he passed through the woods outside the village, the rain was still trashing down and exhaustion caught up with him, with that last word still echoing in his head he collapsed into the mud and remained there.
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After the death of the Emperor the world had changed, she hadn’t witnessed it first hand but as many she could clearly see what was happening around her. People’s fears had disappeared and hope had returned. She had not yet seen the changes in the world, her caretaker had told her that the world was still too dangerous for her because she was once an enemy against those who opposed it. She walked around the house with a small lantern in her hands, she didn’t care much about today’s world because she had other things to think of and by those she meant the memories that had once been sealed within her, subconsciously they had always been there telling her that the world was a lie and now she was free, however the memory of blood still remained and every now and then she would wake up like she had now, afraid that a bad man would come by to do this to her again. Her hand pushed back a strain of hair, it was hanging loosely around her shoulders now as well as the nightgown she wore and it chilled her legs. There was a door at the end of the hall, there was light coming out from under it and she pushed it open.
“Good evening...”
A gentleman’s voice said as she walked in, she set the lantern on the table and then turned to face him.
“Jeremiah...”
She mumbled out and the man, who was sitting near the dining table now turned to her, his outfit was still the same one wore when he worked this afternoon and she saw a bottle of wine standing on the table as well as a filled glass. This man never seemed to sleep in her opinion, at night he merely drank and it had always seemed that he was waiting for something.
“Couldn’t sleep?”
He asked as she sat down on the other side of the table, he eyes fell on a small basket of oranges neatly standing on the other side of the table on display, as a sign of their triumph for this good harvest.
“I had a bad dream...”
She simply said as Jeremiah got up from his seat and seconds later he came back with a glass of milk, he set it in front of her and noticed how the young girl stared at his wine.
“The underage shouldn’t even think of drinking. That still includes you”
A small hmpf escaped her lips and she took the glass of milk. The two remained quiet and she slowly drank from the glass.
“Why do you stay up this long?”
She then asked him and he laughed at her question, it made her all the more confused.
“I’m waiting for a miracle...”
“Miracle?”
“If you pray hard enough then maybe God will answer you, however in this world there is no God and all I can do is wait and hope that this wish will be fulfilled. Even if it is all a lie”
She watched him as he spoke highly. She didn’t understand him at all, what miracle would he want? There is nothing in this world left to wish because their wish had already been fulfilled, Jeremiah had told her himself, the people wished for a tomorrow and they were given it, it was the last wish created perhaps by God himself. Her eyes lingered to the coverage over his left eye and with that she felt regret, it was rude to stare at it and she drank from her milk again. At night Jeremiah always spoke highly as if he was talking to some ghost from the past.
“Goodnight...”
She mumbled as she got up from her chair, he returned a same comment and waited for her to leave but she didn’t. At the door Anya turned around and bowed deeply for him, Jeremiah was left confused by this and listened as she spoke to him.
“I want to show you my gratitude for doing this for me, you don’t me at all”
With this a smile crossed his features and he sighed.
“Thank you for saving me, for showing me who I was”
“Save you gratitude, Anya”
“Thank you...”
She finally added and left the room, Jeremiah sighed again and raised the glass to his lips, but when he was about to drink his phone, that was lying on the table as well, started to ring. He put the glass back on the table and silently wondered why someone would be calling him at this time, but at the sight of the number displayed on the screen he flipped it open and answered the call. He said nothing when he picked up and merely waited for a reply from the other side.
“It’s me...”
He instantly recognised the voice and upon hearing it he sat up straight to listen with his full attention.
“It seems, why are you calling?”
He said in a carefree tone, he knew the person on the other side and by that he didn’t mean Zero. His Highness, the person he still vowed to serve even after his death had told him that time.
“Jeremiah, tomorrow someone will kill me... don’t get in the way”
He was told that it was for a new tomorrow and he instantly understood what he meant by it, he didn’t ask questions though he couldn’t help but slip one out at that time because the death of his master meant the death of him as well. The next day he finally understood and when he saw this posing figure of Zero before him he instantly knew who it was, it was Kururugi Suzaku and he was picking up the mantle of this messiah who could perform miracles and who didn’t need geass and now the same person was calling him in the middle of the night with a number that once belonged to the Emperor himself, he hadn’t expected less from Lelouch.
“Something is wrong...”
These words however discarded the carefree tone his voice once carried and one hand now covered his mouth as well as the lower half of the phone, as if someone was nearby listening in on their conversation.
“What do you mean?”
“The grave, I went there today. It’s empty...”
He gasped and the glass nearly fell over when his knees kicked up against the table.
“Was it robbed?!”
“Impossible, it is impossible for people to know that location let alone the corpse inside”
There was silence then and Jeremiah started to think through any possible scenario he could come up with, but all of them were nothing more but nonsense and ridicule until he thought of one other possibility but that one seemed impossible to begin with.
“I have to leave with Nunnally, I was hoping if you could-”
“I will leave as soon as possible, at what time did you see the grave?”
“Around 1 I think... Could be later”
Another night owl, he thought before breaking the connection. Kururugi Suzaku was having a hard time much like himself. Perhaps his wish had been granted, perhaps things had changed for the worst. His last thoughts lingered to his master’s final moments and he couldn’t help but feel sad for the man now labelled Zero, but perhaps this way his pain could be eased but only if he was indeed correct about what was happening.
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Even after his deaths he could still feel him. When she saw his face again after all those long years she hadn’t realised how much older he had become, only now did she wonder about those things and only now did she regret not touching his skin, after regaining her sight she found that she had forgotten his touch, the memory of his hands had passed and it left her with regret. She wondered what her brother was doing now, if he was happy and perhaps with Euphemia looking down at her and being proud of what she had accomplished, she knew that this would never be possible without the help of Suzaku. Only after it actually happened did she realise what his plan was, her brother was smart and this plan was one that not even she could foresee until it was too late. He had done this for her but with it had ruined her life, how could he be so selfish to think that she would want to be alone, she couldn’t do this without her brother even with Suzaku at her side she couldn’t do this properly. She was too weak and too afraid, she wasn’t as smart as her brother was and had even pleaded Cornelia to take over this heir because she was certain that her older sister would be able to do a much better job, however she refused and she was still left with this hole in her heart and crown on her head. She opened her eyes when she felt someone take her hand, she watched and noticed someone sitting next to her bed on a chair and by his touch she knew who this person was.
“I’m sorry, your Highness”
He said and she could sense despair in his voice, had something happened?
“Suzaku...”
“Don’t call me that”
He told her in a cold tone and she was caught back by the anger that spouted from his voice, the hand caressed hers as a sign of apology and he said again.
“I’m sorry for waking you...”
She couldn’t see his face, in fact she had never seen it even after she had regained her sight. The only face Suzaku had was that of Zero and it saddened her that he didn’t have enough fait in her to show her what he looked like.
“Can I see you face...?”
She asked in a sad tone and the hand over hers released its grip, Suzaku stood up from the bed and walked to the door while saying.
“Not today...”
The same answer he always gave whenever she asked him this and she did it daily whenever they were alone, she still called him Suzaku even if he told her not to. She wanted to show him that he wasn’t alone, because she too carried the burden of her brother and she was perhaps the only person that could comfort him in this time.
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Schneizel waited for him in the hallway and when he returned showed him to his room, he said nothing during the long walk and when the door was opened for him he walked inside without saying a word to his servant.
“I will wake you at 6, master”
Schneizel even bowed to him but he slammed the door shut in anger. Anger still gripped his heart from seeing the empty grave as well as sadness and he threw his clothing to the other side of the room in fit of rage. In regret he walked back to the discarded clothing and grabbed his cell phone from one of the pockets, he wanted it by his side just in case someone called, and by that he revered to someone important to him.
“Why would I call if I’m right here?”
He head turned and sweat dripped down the side of his face when he saw a familiar shadow on the other side of the room. Lelouch vi Britannia stepped out of the shadows and smiled at him as he reached out to him with a hand.
“Go away, you’re just an illusion...”
He said to the mirage who merely smiled in a sinister way before saying.
“I can show you how real I can be Suzaku”
His hand waved to a small box lying on the nightstand, he knew what Lelouch was referring to but he couldn’t use it again. Always was he making these fake promises to himself and always did he break them. This will be the last time, was what he told himself when he broke down and he simply used it as glue to recreate the strong figure he had to portrait. For the first time he truly felt disgusted with it and because of what happened he didn’t feel like using it, though normally he would surely take the chance it was too late now, he could sleep for about 3 hours before Schneizel would wake him for his flight with Nunnally to China where he would meet with several people to discuss further changes to the economy, now with the war over the mass production of Knightmare Frames had stopped and the workload had to put in other sectors that needed better attention and that could improve daily life for those who needed it.
“Suzaku...?”
The forgotten shadow called out, nearly pleading for attention.
“I told you didn’t I?! Go away!”
He now screamed and a random item was thrown across the room towards this person, but it didn’t hit him instead the shadow had vanished and the item broke down in pieces on the floor. Suzaku was left all alone again, he leaned his head forward in his hands and tried to fight back the tears he had felt back when he stood in front of the grave, it was still unbelievable that it was now empty and if he had the time he would look himself but he couldn’t, Lelouch had given him this duty and he would not fail, Nunnally needed him after all.
“You selfish bastard...”
He said when he realised that he was fighting a lost battle, the tears came and dropped down on the floor beneath him and like he had said many times before, this would be the last time he would cry for him.
Title: Code Geass: Requiem
Chapter: 01, Dirt covered hands
Pairing: Suzaku / Lelouch (but includes the rest of the cast as well)
Spoilers: Set after the series
Summary: A man walks this world his name and history unknown however the face he carries is one of a man who has sinned, a man he doesn't remember being, a man named Lelouch vi Britannia.
FF.net link:
www.fanfiction.net/s/4566113/2/
“And now the world can be unified at one table, not through military force, but through negotiation and talk. It can embrace the future.”
Something was wrong here. This had to be a joke of some kind, but he couldn’t help but feel that this might indeed be real because there were enough people in the world that would do this after everything that even involved his name or mention, however to him it still seemed like a sick joke. The bouquet of white roses fell to the ground, the white leaves staining with fresh brown dirt that surrounded the nameless grave that stood alone. The air was dim and grey and it had already been raining, he carried no umbrella because he felt that it wasn’t needed.
He had decided that this were to become his monthly routine, to come and bring him flowers and to note him that he was not forgotten. The tombstone carried no name, there was no indication that someone was buried here either yet only he and a few others knew of this location. Only they knew where the devil had been buried and now it seemed that he was missing from his cave.
“Lelouch...”
His mouth let out a whisper, it was the only thing visible because a long hood covered the rest of his face. The whisper came out as a calling as if he expected someone near him, as if he expected that the hole in his heart was merely walking around ready to fill him up again. Bending down to his knees he rethought his previous theory, it had been about a week since his death but since no one knew who was buried here it made no sense that they might have robbed this grave. Also as he now ran his hands over the collapsed fresh dirt did he realise that there were no signs of digging, in fact by the sight of the scene he’d even conclude that something broke out but that was impossible.
“That is.. impossible.”
He whispered out, repeating his previous thoughts as his widened eyes scanned the ground for any signs and his hand traced over to what he believed was an imprint of fingers dug into the dirt, as if they clung to it for life. Lelouch couldn’t be alive, even if so where would he go? He looked over his shoulder at the dirt ridden path that led back to the man road, he then noticed footprints in them, sunk deep into the fresh mud and with that he became instantly afraid of what had happened. His phone vibrated and instantly a hand dug into one of his pockets.
“Hello...”
“Zero-sama, your plane is waiting. Nunnally-denka is set to leave at dawn.”
“I see, thank you. I’ll be right there.”
“Suzaku you will become a hero. You will become Zero, saviour of the world, who rescued everyone from the enemy of the world, Emperor Lelouch vi Britannia.”
That’s right, He was no longer the Knight of 0 or the man he used to be, Kururugi Suzaku. He had taken the offered mask without realising its consequence and now he was Zero, the man he once hated and the man who now was in the Empress her service, the 100th Empress Nunnally vi Britannia. He lived a live of regret and carried that weight on his shoulder as he passed out his own happiness for the others to receive, this weight was put on his shoulder by no other than the person he loved and kissed, it was put there by a person no other than the one he had stabbed in his heart with a long sword. He picked up the flowers and placed them in front of the open grave, it was useless he knew but he didn’t know what to do with them and them lying there was simply a symbol, he hadn’t forgotten about Lelouch and his sacrifice, he still loved him and wished every day and night that he was still here, hugging him from behind and whispering in his ears that everything would be alright, that he would forgive him for this.
He snorted and realised that he was getting emotional. He rubbed his nose and turned around, still looking over his shoulder with disbelief but also hope, there was nothing he could do right now because his attendance was needed with the Empress but he could still call up the person he felt he could trust with this matter before he left, maybe he could be of service and figure out what had happened. He hoped that the grave hadn’t been robbed, after Lelouch’s death there was an upraise in violence and demonstrations, people even now ran out of their houses every night to celebrate his death and burn whatever possessions they could link to the man they called the Devil, every night they burned portraits and pictures, newspapers and flags. He understood their anger and ignored how they despised the so called Emperor and loyal Knights, because he was one of them. But those things didn’t matter now.
He walked down the dirt road and walked back to the car that stood waiting for him, the former Prince Schneizel walked out and ran up to him with an umbrella. He said nothing and merely continued walking before sitting down in the back seat. He watched as the former Prince settled down in the driver’s seat and waited for his order, this was also a large change: the man sitting there was now his servant, it was one of the things Lelouch did for him, though he never quite understood why he had given out such an order.
“Drive...”
He simply said and pulled back his hood revealing his unchanged brown hair and green eyes, however they had changed and had lost their glamour, they were now cold and heartless and sick of bloodshed. His hand reached into his pocket again and he searched through his contacts, the person he was looking for should be in the list and if not he still knew someone else that might be able to help him out, part of him hoped that Lelouch was alive but another worried that with living he had sealed his existence as a never ceasing target to everything he had done in the past, the people wouldn’t understand him no matter what he told them. He looked out of the window as the car continued on, he could see lights in the distance of a nearby village, the Japanese were celebrating he noted but couldn’t help and mock their stupidity. Raising his phone to his ear he waited for it to be picked up on the other side.
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It was only after he got out that he started to question his surroundings, only then did those details matter to him because before this was visible to him his hands had slammed against the wooden structure with such force that it made his knuckles bleed, but it was all fair for the sake of his survival. He hated the dark space he was born in and the eerie silence made him all the more afraid, his fists continued to slam as this fear clung to him, fuelling his hands with adrenaline as they broke through the wood and now dug into the ground trashing down at him. His hands rubbed his shoulders at the mere thought of that event and he started to shake unwillingly as a result of those memories. He stopped walking and closed his eyes before taking a deep breath, but he only realised that by closing his eyes he would be confronted by darkness once again and thus he opened them again as if he was about to lose his grip on this steady plane, as if he was about to fall down and be swallowed by another dark box.
With his breath still haze he looked around but there was nothing to help him, he knew nothing: no name, no place and most importantly no reason. The first thing he remembered seeing was darkness and the first sounds he heard were whispers of an unknown kind and due to their misunderstanding did they only frighten him more. The rain dropped down on him, it wasn’t much it was merely the start of what was to come. The blood covered hands still clung to his shoulders as he felt these cold tears fall down on him. It was unreal and he opened the palm of his hands in front of him and watched as the rain dropped down on the dirt that covered them, slowly they washed away each piece of sand and he realised that underneath there was be a soft, pale taint of skin.
“Rain...”
He whispered out without realisation to why he knew the word, his face merely tilted as the drops combined and streamed over his skin to fall off his hand and to meet with the floor.
“Pluie... Pluvia...”
He then added and continued this line of words with whatever came first on his mind, unknowingly he spoke in languages he didn’t understand but he knew that these words had one meaning, and that was rain. He studied it as if it were the first thing his eyes had set sight on after he was born. He looked up and felt the rain stinging his eyes, he didn’t close them because he was still afraid that the world would swallow him up from underneath and merely listened as the drops fell down around him, every leaf and every puddle gave out a distinguished and identical sound and he looked down when he saw something else in the distance. Far away from him a light passed over the horizon, a vehicle drove down the road and he watched the light pass through the darkness in wonder. He then noticed more lights in the distance and slowly he strode down the muddy road into their direction.
He nearly stumbled along the way, his legs felt heavy because of the extra gained weight of his soaked clothing, the robe that was previously white but now darkish brown clung to his body and made moving all the more difficult. When he reached the main road the rain seemed to have stopped and with that he looked up, as if he had expected that it to ever fall on him at all times. His eyes widened when he saw something in the sky, a round full moon of sort hidden behind the clouds but still being visible for the naked eye because its glow penetrated the thin clouds that covered it. It is a sign a rebirth, a part of him said and he turned his gaze back to the road that led into what seemed to be a small village consisting of only a few houses. He continued walking and looked around as he did, his eyes passing over every bit of detail as he came along the way, he heard crickets chirp in the fields and saw lights of fireflies pass through the long grass. A dog barked at him as he came closer to the village, the animal showed its teeth and let out a low growl, he gazed at it but continued walking when it started to bite in air.
“It will bite you...”
He whispered and with half open eyes continued his way through the small cottages, several still had lights burning inside them and there was something going on in the street ahead of him. There was a small pile of possessions being burned and a door next to him slammed open, he watched as drunken men stumbled out of the building which was in fact a bar and who then continued to scream up to the sky with a tone he could describe as joy however their words contained curses.
“Death to the demon King!”
“Hail Zero!”
Glass was thrown on the ground and the pile of possessions increased in size as if it were some kind of offering to a God. People passed him from behind and pushed him aside but he remained quiet and observed as if he wasn’t exactly sure what was happening around him.
“People...”
He whispered out as they danced and drank in the streets, strange behaviour and stupid.
“Lelouch vi Britannia, I hope you are burning in hell right now!”
“Lelouch...”
The name sounded familiar but his concentration was broken when something was thrown on the ground in front of him, for a second he could see something that he could best describe as a déjà vu. A foot stepped on what seemed a framed picture and he heard the glass underneath crack, with it the urge for investigation increased as this feeling of déjà vu continued to claim what was left of his consciousness and he knelt down to grab this item, his hand pushing away the leg that was stomping on this person’s paper face.
“What do you think you’re doing?!”
He ignored the stare he received and pulled the item closer to see what was on it. His heart however felt as if it was to break when he stared at the person smiling back at him from that paper page. Looking up he realised that they were burning similar items, he saw newspapers with the headlines printed out saying that the Emperor was dead and that the tyranny was now over. He watched as a familiar face burned to ashes.
“That face...”
He gasped out. The man they proclaimed as the devil King, the one they burned and drank for to celebrate his death as if it was a blessing, that man was him. He remembered his face now, the face of the devil was his.
“Are you still following his rule or something, bastard! Hand over the frame!”
A foot pushed against his shoulder and he fell back, the picture fell down on the ground next to him exposing the portrait of the 99th Emperor. He looked at the man in front of him and noticed how he had gone quiet, the bottle in his hand dropped to the ground and what left of the liquor was inside now spilled out to sink into the Earth.
“Impossible...”
He whispered out and stepped back, several others now heard his pleading voice and looked at him as well.
“A demon, it’s a demon!”
One yelled and now the entire street had gone quiet, no celebrating voices that sung and yelled at the sky instead they watched him and looked as if the devil himself had appeared before them. He tried to avoid their gaze but it was making him nervous, he looked at the picture frame that lay on the ground next to him and his hand rose up to grab it. However before he could even touch it he felt something against his head, he nearly fell flat against the ground when something hit him and with his head leaned forward he could feel something dripping down onto the robe he wore and he raised his hand to the left side of his head. Liquid dripped down between his fingers much like the rain had done before and when he pulled his hand back he saw an ominous dark colour covering it, it was dark outside but from its taint he knew that this was blood.
“Get out!”
“Go back to the hell you came from!”
He yelped when more rocks were thrown to him and shielded his face with his arms to prevent them from hitting his head and face. However the rocks continued to hit him and were soon joined by bottles and glasses. A piece of glass broke against his arms and he pressed his eyes shut when he felt the glass pieces fly around him, several of them cut through his skin and as more items were thrown the more he curled up to protect himself.
“Stop...”
He whispered out in a sob, but the throwing and curses didn’t stop. A moment before this he had crawled out of the ground asking for life and this is what was given to him. These people hated him, but what had he done to receive such payment? He just wanted to live, he just wanted to see..
“...Suzaku”
The voice came in a whisper, a soft cry for help. He didn’t know who this person was, he didn’t know why he was calling his name, all he knew was that he wanted to be with Suzaku. Suzaku was some place safe, some place kind and some place loving. He wanted to see Suzaku.
“Not so tough now are you!”
His eyes widened when he felt a hand around his wrist and he was hauled aside by the man who grabbed him. His voice remained stuck in his throat and his breaths were filled with fear as the unknown person raised his other arm. The man had raised his weapon and he knew what was to come, the old piece of wood would hit him and hurt him, they would kill him. He didn’t want to die, he had to see Suzaku.
“No...”
The courage to speak had returned but was again only a soft whimper claimed by fear and anxiety. He looked at the man’s eyes and saw rage in them, nothing but blind rage. He couldn’t die here, he had to find Suzaku. Suzaku. The arm started to lower and was about to hit him.
“No!”
He yelled out and automatically his still lose hand grabbed the fabric against his heart. Pain throbbed through that area as soon as his voice gained the courage to yell out, to yell out to whatever was safe and to whatever was dangerous. Unknowing the mark against his skin glowed up and a thin line of light surrounded him, casting shadows over the dirty streets. Screams erupted from them and he gasped for air, now both his hands clung to the fabric, pushed against the warm spot on his chest as those around him fell and squirmed in whatever terror was brought to them. The screams seemed familiar and in the midst of them did he see something, a blade in the darkness had stepped forward to him and when the tip barely touched his skin did he open his eyes again.
“That’s right, he killed me...”
“What...?”
The screams had ceased, there were no sounds in the street and then suddenly the rain started again in a heavy fall. He remained still and observed the street before him in fright, the bodies were unmoving and lay scattered from each other, the bonfire slowly vanished as its flames died out in the falling rain and when he saw a hand of one of the villagers move did he decide that it was best for him to get out while he still could.
He got up from the floor, his right hand still clutching his uniform as he swayed and with one last glance did he walk away. The dog that had once braked at him was now silent as the grave and even yelped when he passed, the creature was now afraid of him and he couldn’t disagree with him more. The face he carried scared the people around him and leads them to believing that he was better of dead, this face shouldn’t be seen to anyone if he wanted to life and he wanted that. He wanted to life, he had to find Suzaku. Suzaku was the place where he could find his answers.
“Suzaku...”
He whispered again as he passed through the woods outside the village, the rain was still trashing down and exhaustion caught up with him, with that last word still echoing in his head he collapsed into the mud and remained there.
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After the death of the Emperor the world had changed, she hadn’t witnessed it first hand but as many she could clearly see what was happening around her. People’s fears had disappeared and hope had returned. She had not yet seen the changes in the world, her caretaker had told her that the world was still too dangerous for her because she was once an enemy against those who opposed it. She walked around the house with a small lantern in her hands, she didn’t care much about today’s world because she had other things to think of and by those she meant the memories that had once been sealed within her, subconsciously they had always been there telling her that the world was a lie and now she was free, however the memory of blood still remained and every now and then she would wake up like she had now, afraid that a bad man would come by to do this to her again. Her hand pushed back a strain of hair, it was hanging loosely around her shoulders now as well as the nightgown she wore and it chilled her legs. There was a door at the end of the hall, there was light coming out from under it and she pushed it open.
“Good evening...”
A gentleman’s voice said as she walked in, she set the lantern on the table and then turned to face him.
“Jeremiah...”
She mumbled out and the man, who was sitting near the dining table now turned to her, his outfit was still the same one wore when he worked this afternoon and she saw a bottle of wine standing on the table as well as a filled glass. This man never seemed to sleep in her opinion, at night he merely drank and it had always seemed that he was waiting for something.
“Couldn’t sleep?”
He asked as she sat down on the other side of the table, he eyes fell on a small basket of oranges neatly standing on the other side of the table on display, as a sign of their triumph for this good harvest.
“I had a bad dream...”
She simply said as Jeremiah got up from his seat and seconds later he came back with a glass of milk, he set it in front of her and noticed how the young girl stared at his wine.
“The underage shouldn’t even think of drinking. That still includes you”
A small hmpf escaped her lips and she took the glass of milk. The two remained quiet and she slowly drank from the glass.
“Why do you stay up this long?”
She then asked him and he laughed at her question, it made her all the more confused.
“I’m waiting for a miracle...”
“Miracle?”
“If you pray hard enough then maybe God will answer you, however in this world there is no God and all I can do is wait and hope that this wish will be fulfilled. Even if it is all a lie”
She watched him as he spoke highly. She didn’t understand him at all, what miracle would he want? There is nothing in this world left to wish because their wish had already been fulfilled, Jeremiah had told her himself, the people wished for a tomorrow and they were given it, it was the last wish created perhaps by God himself. Her eyes lingered to the coverage over his left eye and with that she felt regret, it was rude to stare at it and she drank from her milk again. At night Jeremiah always spoke highly as if he was talking to some ghost from the past.
“Goodnight...”
She mumbled as she got up from her chair, he returned a same comment and waited for her to leave but she didn’t. At the door Anya turned around and bowed deeply for him, Jeremiah was left confused by this and listened as she spoke to him.
“I want to show you my gratitude for doing this for me, you don’t me at all”
With this a smile crossed his features and he sighed.
“Thank you for saving me, for showing me who I was”
“Save you gratitude, Anya”
“Thank you...”
She finally added and left the room, Jeremiah sighed again and raised the glass to his lips, but when he was about to drink his phone, that was lying on the table as well, started to ring. He put the glass back on the table and silently wondered why someone would be calling him at this time, but at the sight of the number displayed on the screen he flipped it open and answered the call. He said nothing when he picked up and merely waited for a reply from the other side.
“It’s me...”
He instantly recognised the voice and upon hearing it he sat up straight to listen with his full attention.
“It seems, why are you calling?”
He said in a carefree tone, he knew the person on the other side and by that he didn’t mean Zero. His Highness, the person he still vowed to serve even after his death had told him that time.
“Jeremiah, tomorrow someone will kill me... don’t get in the way”
He was told that it was for a new tomorrow and he instantly understood what he meant by it, he didn’t ask questions though he couldn’t help but slip one out at that time because the death of his master meant the death of him as well. The next day he finally understood and when he saw this posing figure of Zero before him he instantly knew who it was, it was Kururugi Suzaku and he was picking up the mantle of this messiah who could perform miracles and who didn’t need geass and now the same person was calling him in the middle of the night with a number that once belonged to the Emperor himself, he hadn’t expected less from Lelouch.
“Something is wrong...”
These words however discarded the carefree tone his voice once carried and one hand now covered his mouth as well as the lower half of the phone, as if someone was nearby listening in on their conversation.
“What do you mean?”
“The grave, I went there today. It’s empty...”
He gasped and the glass nearly fell over when his knees kicked up against the table.
“Was it robbed?!”
“Impossible, it is impossible for people to know that location let alone the corpse inside”
There was silence then and Jeremiah started to think through any possible scenario he could come up with, but all of them were nothing more but nonsense and ridicule until he thought of one other possibility but that one seemed impossible to begin with.
“I have to leave with Nunnally, I was hoping if you could-”
“I will leave as soon as possible, at what time did you see the grave?”
“Around 1 I think... Could be later”
Another night owl, he thought before breaking the connection. Kururugi Suzaku was having a hard time much like himself. Perhaps his wish had been granted, perhaps things had changed for the worst. His last thoughts lingered to his master’s final moments and he couldn’t help but feel sad for the man now labelled Zero, but perhaps this way his pain could be eased but only if he was indeed correct about what was happening.
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Even after his deaths he could still feel him. When she saw his face again after all those long years she hadn’t realised how much older he had become, only now did she wonder about those things and only now did she regret not touching his skin, after regaining her sight she found that she had forgotten his touch, the memory of his hands had passed and it left her with regret. She wondered what her brother was doing now, if he was happy and perhaps with Euphemia looking down at her and being proud of what she had accomplished, she knew that this would never be possible without the help of Suzaku. Only after it actually happened did she realise what his plan was, her brother was smart and this plan was one that not even she could foresee until it was too late. He had done this for her but with it had ruined her life, how could he be so selfish to think that she would want to be alone, she couldn’t do this without her brother even with Suzaku at her side she couldn’t do this properly. She was too weak and too afraid, she wasn’t as smart as her brother was and had even pleaded Cornelia to take over this heir because she was certain that her older sister would be able to do a much better job, however she refused and she was still left with this hole in her heart and crown on her head. She opened her eyes when she felt someone take her hand, she watched and noticed someone sitting next to her bed on a chair and by his touch she knew who this person was.
“I’m sorry, your Highness”
He said and she could sense despair in his voice, had something happened?
“Suzaku...”
“Don’t call me that”
He told her in a cold tone and she was caught back by the anger that spouted from his voice, the hand caressed hers as a sign of apology and he said again.
“I’m sorry for waking you...”
She couldn’t see his face, in fact she had never seen it even after she had regained her sight. The only face Suzaku had was that of Zero and it saddened her that he didn’t have enough fait in her to show her what he looked like.
“Can I see you face...?”
She asked in a sad tone and the hand over hers released its grip, Suzaku stood up from the bed and walked to the door while saying.
“Not today...”
The same answer he always gave whenever she asked him this and she did it daily whenever they were alone, she still called him Suzaku even if he told her not to. She wanted to show him that he wasn’t alone, because she too carried the burden of her brother and she was perhaps the only person that could comfort him in this time.
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Schneizel waited for him in the hallway and when he returned showed him to his room, he said nothing during the long walk and when the door was opened for him he walked inside without saying a word to his servant.
“I will wake you at 6, master”
Schneizel even bowed to him but he slammed the door shut in anger. Anger still gripped his heart from seeing the empty grave as well as sadness and he threw his clothing to the other side of the room in fit of rage. In regret he walked back to the discarded clothing and grabbed his cell phone from one of the pockets, he wanted it by his side just in case someone called, and by that he revered to someone important to him.
“Why would I call if I’m right here?”
He head turned and sweat dripped down the side of his face when he saw a familiar shadow on the other side of the room. Lelouch vi Britannia stepped out of the shadows and smiled at him as he reached out to him with a hand.
“Go away, you’re just an illusion...”
He said to the mirage who merely smiled in a sinister way before saying.
“I can show you how real I can be Suzaku”
His hand waved to a small box lying on the nightstand, he knew what Lelouch was referring to but he couldn’t use it again. Always was he making these fake promises to himself and always did he break them. This will be the last time, was what he told himself when he broke down and he simply used it as glue to recreate the strong figure he had to portrait. For the first time he truly felt disgusted with it and because of what happened he didn’t feel like using it, though normally he would surely take the chance it was too late now, he could sleep for about 3 hours before Schneizel would wake him for his flight with Nunnally to China where he would meet with several people to discuss further changes to the economy, now with the war over the mass production of Knightmare Frames had stopped and the workload had to put in other sectors that needed better attention and that could improve daily life for those who needed it.
“Suzaku...?”
The forgotten shadow called out, nearly pleading for attention.
“I told you didn’t I?! Go away!”
He now screamed and a random item was thrown across the room towards this person, but it didn’t hit him instead the shadow had vanished and the item broke down in pieces on the floor. Suzaku was left all alone again, he leaned his head forward in his hands and tried to fight back the tears he had felt back when he stood in front of the grave, it was still unbelievable that it was now empty and if he had the time he would look himself but he couldn’t, Lelouch had given him this duty and he would not fail, Nunnally needed him after all.
“You selfish bastard...”
He said when he realised that he was fighting a lost battle, the tears came and dropped down on the floor beneath him and like he had said many times before, this would be the last time he would cry for him.