Date/Time: 2008-05-31 01:38 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] gods-debris.livejournal.com
Good story, but when you switch PoV be sure to mark accordingly... for example "* * *" centered separating the two character points of view. Sometimes when you switch to another person's point of view readers get confused and have to backtrack thinking they missed something.

For your first, gj.
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