code_geass ◾ ◾ Fanfic: Who Are You?

Just something I wrote while studying for my Japanese midterm. (With an appropriate icon added as well!)

Title: Who Are You?
Pairing: Suzaku/Lelouch
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst
Summary: His best friend couldn't be gone forever.

I think the whole reason I half-support the Lelouch Lives theory is just so I could do this.

At last, it was over.

Perhaps the longest, and most trying day in his life.

Granted, there had been many days that were long and hard for Suzaku. The day he killed his father, that day when the Special Administrative Zone of Japan failed, the second Black Rebellion, when he had fired FREJIA...

But no, today, was absolutely and without a doubt, the worst day his life.

Suzaku had always been a man for taking orders, even if he despised the orders he was given. But this...yes, this was the hardest order he ever had to fulfill.

It wasn't like an order given to him by a superior, handed down through the ranks. It was just a simple request. A request from his best friend, his ally...the only person who had stood with him when all had turned away.

And now he was gone.

With one twist of a blade, Suzaku ended his life. He killed him, his friend, his enemy. The man he hated; the man he loved.

From the moment he was given the order, Suzaku resolved to lock up his heart, to shut out all feelings. That was the only way he could accomplish this. That's what he wanted--to go about it like a daily duty, to feel nothing when the time came.

But he had failed in that. He had cried--shed tears for the one person who had taken everything from him. The one whom he was entwined with in some tangle of fate--to fight against him; to fight along side him. And with their blood oath that day on Kamenejima, they stood together--friends, former enemies, united to betray the world until the end of all things.

And an end it was. Suzaku Kururugi was now officially dead. The demon emperor had been slain. And Zero, the hero of the Japanese and savior of the world, had risen again.

But there was one more that had yet to rise. Even if he had not planned on it.

The witch had never told him; no, it took her long enough just to tell Suzaku.

"He will not be permanently dead," she explained.

"What?"

She was reluctant in the telling. "Lelouch's geass has evolved to its greatest extent now...and he killed his father, who had a Code...yes, its inevitable that this would happen, even if he didn't expect it or want it to...but there is no choice now. Suzaku, when you kill Lelouch...it will only mean his life as a human is at an end. He will rise again as one like me, an immortal warlock."

"But--how? Doesn't he--"

"He doesn't know," she cut him off. "And don't tell him, either...I don't think he'd like it if he knew. But he has no choice in the matter. Once the Code is passed to you, you have no choice but to accept its gift...and its curse."

Yes, even as Suzaku shed tears underneath Zero's helmet, knowing that at that very moment, he was killing perhaps his last friend in the world, he remembered the witch's words...He will rise again... and he couldn't help but wish on it.

The door shut tight and locked as Zero walked into the room--his room now. It was only there, in the privacy of his locked room, did he take off that helmet, made to fit someone else's head.

This was to be his life from now on. Hiding from the world like some kind of phantom.

But as long as he was there...as long as they could bear it together--

He was already there.

Just as he had instructed Jeremiah, the fallen Emperor's body lay there, on the bed, wrapped in a white robe as if in slumber. Slowly, Suzaku approached it--him--breath hitching in his throat, slightly afraid of what he would see.

Even in death, Lelouch was so beautiful. The way those wisps of bangs fell just right in front of his eyes, his mouth slightly open, those perfect, commanding lips seeming to be caught in a content sigh.

In his final moments, Lelouch was content.

Anger surged in him as he sat beside his old friend. Happiness? Even with death? How dare he be happy in thinking he was leaving him! How could he possibly have been happy dying--telling his best friend to kill him, too! How dare Lelouch be happy selfishly leaving the world and all its problems back on everyone else! On him!

It didn't matter that Lelouch was still dead, Suzaku couldn't take it anymore. "You idiot! You stupid, selfish idiot! What the Hell was the matter with you? Why the Hell did you think it was alright to do what you did and leave me here--make me do this to you! What do you want me to do, fix the mess you made?" Suzaku's hands clenched into fists, tears uncontrollably spilling down his cheeks for the second time that day. "You think I can do all that? You think I can save the world? I can't even save myself! I couldn't save you! You bastard! You bastard..."

Lelouch couldn't hear him, now anyway. It didn't help. He knew it didn't, but it still made him feel better. "Well, fine. Fine, you just try and escape." He muttered, wiping the remaining tears from his eyes. "You try to leave me alone...you'll see. She said you'd come back. You're going to come back to me and you're going to help me fix this, you understand? I won't let you leave me now..."

He remembered that question he asked the witch, after the deed was done. "How long?"

"Until?"

"Until he returns?"

She thought a moment. "I don't...I don't really know. I can't be sure...since he did not realize he had the Code, it might take a little while for him to be returned to consciousness--the Code and how it operates is still a mystery, even to me, but don't expect it to happen right away."

"Well, that's good enough." He had said, turning away. "He'll be back soon enough, right? And then things will be just like old times, eh, C.C.?"

He had expected her to make a sarcastic comment about these 'old times', but instead she said nothing. She merely turned away, biting her lip while giving a small, sharp nod.

He should have expected her to know more about it than she was giving up.

He waited for what seemed like an eternity. Minutes seemed to turn into hours as Suzaku sat at his silent vigil, waiting for his friend to return as he was promised.

She said it would happen. She promised him it would happen. It had to. Lelouch had died for his sins, fine, but he was still needed.

If it was up to Suzaku to fix the world...then he'd need the destroyer of the world to tell him how to do it. Yes, only Lelouch could help him, there was no other person who could.

His anger slowly subdued, and turned into a numb feeling--much like how he felt that day, charging at the hated emperor, sword in hand--

He had to return. He had to. He--Nunnally needed him. Wasn't she the one crying, begging him to stay at the end? Yes, she hadn't seen her brother in so long--she didn't deserve to think he was as evil as they said. He needed to be there for her. He was her only family. How could she live without him now?

Biting his lip, Suzaku looked away from that face--that beautiful face that had haunted him for so long.

Please...he had to come back! He just had to! He couldn't be dead like this--ending it all in a stupid move like this! He had resigned himself, but...Suzaku realized that it couldn't end this way! They were a team, together they could do anything! Only with both of them could the world be changed, wasn't that right? They still needed to change the world together!

He was his best friend since they were children? How could it come to this...how could it end this tragic way?

It was nearing morning, and he still hadn't returned. What if he never would? A gaping ache opened up in Suzaku's heart, tears returning when he realized...oh God, what if it all ended here? What if Lelouch really was dead for good?

No, No! Not like this! He didn't want to live life like this if Lelouch wasn't there! Lelouch had to come back, damnit! He needed his laugh, his smiles--the touch of his hand on his shoulder--the way he could always tell what he was thinking--he needed it, he needed it all!

Lelouch had become a part of his very existence! He couldn't leave him all alone like this now! He needed him more than anyone else!

Suddenly, there was a flash of light. Suzaku jumped out of his chair near the bed as he saw it--a bright red flash. He saw it formed before his very eyes--that same mark that C.C. on her forehead, as it blossomed across the fallen Emperor's neck.

"Lelou--" Suzaku breathed as the light faded--and the cold body began to stir.

Slowly, those purple eyes he knew opened, staring out at the room in a daze. His arm twitched--and then helped him slowly sit up.

"Lelouch!" Suzaku cried in a mix of relief and joy, tears lining his eyes, as the face of his old friend turned to see him. "Lelouch, you came back, I--"

Remembering himself, and where they left off, Suzaku suddenly knelt down, bowing his head before his emperor. "Your Majesty--Lelouch...sorry, I followed your order, but it didn't work out that way--you'll have to talk to C.C. about it, but that doesn't matter really..."

Slender legs slid down from the bed, as the fallen emperor stood before him. Suzaku looked up at him again, unable to hide the happy smile from his face. "It doesn't matter because now you're back--everything's fine now that you're back--"

He should have known. He should have known what would happen.

There was no smile on his face, only a haughty, uncaring frown.

No...this wasn't...

Those purple eyes he once knew did not share his joy--nor did they look angry. They were hooded--only mildly interested in his very presence. Eyes like someone else he knew...like a being from another world...

No, please...it couldn't be--!

A tear fell from wide, surprised--heartbroken green eyes, with a unbelieving mouth begged, "Lelou..."

"My name...is L.L." The one before him glared. "And who are you?"