2009-06-29 03:30![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png)
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code_geass
inulovinkit.livejournal.com in code_geassWork sucks.
Rating: R this chapter (For Suzaku and Lelouch's naughty language).
Pairing: LelouchxC.C., (implied) Suzalulu.
Summary: So, what would have happened if Suzaku had received the Geass in Stage 1 instead of Lelouch? We'd have one messed up story on our hands.
Chapter 1 here.
This chapter took soooooo long to write because I knew I had to have everyone--especially Suzaku and Lelouch, so perfectly in character to make it work.
“What did you say?” Suzaku snarled, unable to accept what he had just heard.
No, this couldn’t be happening. Schniezel wouldn’t dare think of doing it—would he?
“Exactly what I said, Kururugi,” Schniezel said, without a hint of care in his voice. “Your services as Governor-General of Japan will no longer be needed. I will take over this post.”
This couldn’t be happening, this couldn’t be happening—no, how dare Schniezel even think that he could do it! The nerve of him!
“I was assigned to this post by the Emperor himself,” Suzaku glared, hands clenching into fists. “I don’t think that even a prince could get rid of me so easily, Your Highness.”
“Still, if the Emperor was so keen on keeping you, I think he would have mentioned it when I last saw him—And told him I was going to review your position.”
Schniezel couldn’t do this…could he? He was the Governor-General of Japan! He was supposed to bring peace to Japan! Doing it like this would only cause more war and strife! Didn’t he even see that! Didn’t he even care—!
“You’re going about this the wrong way,” Suzaku warned. “The Japanese will rebel against whatever you do—they’re a proud people, and the Black Knights will only gain support if you do what you wish—The Britannians here will only be in more danger—don’t you even care about your own people?!”
“Frankly, Kururugi,” Schniezel said, sitting himself in the Governor-General’s desk—his desk—“I don’t. I want the Black Knights finished. That is all.”
That bastard! So this was what he was planning? Tossing him out so he could bring the country into more war—just to satisfy his need to finish off the Black Knights? Sure, he’d finish off the Black Knights, but there would be others after that—Putting Japan into a cycle of war and destruction until the very colony they were trying to preserve collapsed upon itself—and he didn’t even care—!
“The Black Knights were wounded with that attack on their base a few days ago,” Schniezel told him, “I think another well placed attack will flush them out.”
“They’ll just flee the borders, making your attacks useless.”
“Well, then we’ll just have to chase them down.”
“And create an international incident?! Don’t you see what you’re—!”
“I don’t need you to tell me what I’m planning on doing, Kururugi. The Black Knights must be finished at all costs. If you cared more for the well being of Britannia than for the well being of a smaller, defeated state, then you would understand this. Now get out of my office.”
Bile rose in Suzaku’s throat. No, no he wouldn’t accept this! He wouldn’t accept being tossed aside so Schniezel could start his precious war! Many lives—Japanese and Britannian—would be lost just so Schniezel could claim victory! Who cared about enemies of the state when Schniezel caused enough strife for all of them!
He had to convince the Emperor to restore him as Governor-General. He had to! That was the only way—the only way he could save both the Britannians and the Japanese! The only way he could fix all this! The only way he could atone for—!
Use the Geass…
There was that thought again, that one that nagged at him night and day. The geass—his secret, hideous power. Using it was wrong, it wasn’t the right way to do things, but…if he used it now, he could fix this.
He could make Schniezel give him back his post. Make Schniezel see that this war was not the way. He could make him understand…he could make everyone understand…
His way was right. It was the only way. That was why he had to do it…to save everyone!
…To save himself…
He didn’t even realize what he was doing—his hand just started unconsciously reaching up towards that contact in his eye—the one blocking the geass. Yes, just remove it and say the words, and everything would be back to what it was supposed to be…just do it…a few little words…just a few…
“By the way, Kururugi,” Schniezel spoke, snapping Suzaku out of his daze. His hand flew to his side at once. What had he been thinking? Use the Geass on His Highness Schniezel? There was the right way to go about things, and the wrong way to go about it, and that was certainly the wrong way—
“Though you will no longer be Governor-General of Japan, there is something more of a personal matter that I feel you should know about.”
“What?” Suzaku glared. He didn’t care about anything he was going to tell him—
“I know you were once acquainted with the Princess Nunnally, so I felt like I should inform you—she’s been missing for two days. Her little bodyguard also ended up in the hospital with grave injuries. We’ve been—”
“What?” It felt as if he had been hit hard in the chest. Nunnally. Missing. And her bodyguard—that girl Alice was—No, wait…it couldn’t be… “What happened?” he asked, now frantic.
“We don’t know, but I assure you, we have all our forces out looking into it—she was in the palace at the time, so it’s possible she just got lost and we have yet to find her—I wouldn’t worry too much—”
But Suzaku did worry. He knew why Nunnally had been taken back to Britannia. As a possible hostage to be used against Lelouch…and maybe against him too. And now, if she had gone missing so suddenly…
Suzaku bolted out of the room without a hint of goodbye to Schniezel—all worries about losing his post forgotten. No, no, that was trivial compared to this!
If Nunnally had gone missing so suddenly, and her bodyguard turned up harmed…it could only be a warning.
Suzaku ran into the hallway, pulling out the phone and calling that number he had kept for emergencies. A ring. And another—come on, pick up, damnit!—three rings. Now four. And—yes, yes!
“Hello?” It wasn’t the voice he remembered, but he didn’t care.
“This is Kururugi Suzaku, Knight of Seven!” Suzaku rambled off. “I need to know—where is Alice? What happened to Her Highness Nunnally—!”
A pause. “I am…Alice’s mother.” The grave voice spoke over the phone. “She was…my daughter was shot protecting the princess. She’s not expected to live very long…They found her in one of the princess’s rooms. Before she lost consciousness, my daughter said something…about someone trying to talk with the princess…before they took her away, she muttered something about the emperor—”
The Emperor. Those words hit Suzaku at once. If the Emperor was behind all this, then of course he would have taken Nunnally as a hostage. He could use this against Lelouch, to make Zero surrender and end the war in Japan! But…why hadn’t he released this information to the media?
Why was it that Schniezel had been told, but no one else had? Why was he learning about this now?
No…it wasn’t that…
It wasn’t that the Emperor himself had wanted this information to get to him, was it? What could he do with—
Of course.
With a sigh, Suzaku tried to keep himself calm. “You have my sympathies for your daughter. I assure you that her sacrifice will not be forgotten soon.” And with that, he ended the call, leaning back against the wall in that deserted hallway, realizing how cleverly this trap had been placed.
Why had it been that he had been placed as Governor-General of Japan in the first place? Certainly the Emperor would have wanted someone more qualified, someone who didn’t sympathize with the Japanese. Why was it that harsher measures—before Schniezel, that is—were not placed on Japan in order to get rid of the Black Knights—and Lelouch as well?
Surely the Emperor knew of the friendship between them as children. And surely, he knew that both of them would have second thoughts before fighting each other. So why place both of them in this sphere in the first place?
This was a test.
A test of what he didn’t know, but Suzaku knew well enough that both he and Lelouch had been toyed with—and the Emperor had been the one pulling the strings. Letting Lelouch free in Japan, free to start his rebellion again was just the beginning. Allowing Suzaku to be put in charge was all part of his grand scheme.
But after Suzaku’s last betrayal, Lelouch surely hated, or at least couldn’t forgive him. And Suzaku…though he knew of Zero’s true identity, he would hesitate to go after his friend again.
But with Nunnally’s disappearance, the Emperor’s message was clear—it was time for this little façade to be finished. One of them would have to usurp the other.
Either Britannia would fall to the Black Knights and Nunnally would be rescued by Lelouch, or Suzaku would have to drag his best friend in chains through the streets of Britannia to allow her to be free.
It was the only way.
He had already been ousted as the Governor-General of Britannia—no, perhaps that had been planned to? Had the emperor given Schniezel that idea? Another warning to tell him he was running out of time? To force him to do the inevitable?
Lelouch probably still didn’t know about Nunnally—which meant that the Emperor had wanted this to happen. Was he testing Suzaku’s loyalty? Maybe.
Maybe the bastard just liked playing people on strings.
Either way, Suzaku knew what he had to do. To save Nunnally, get his position back, and then save Japan.
He had to capture Lelouch again. Zero had to be destroyed once and for all—by him—in order to end all this.
After all, he reminded himself, it was his fault that Zero existed in the first place. He’d have to take responsibility.
Even if it meant leading himself down a path he didn’t want to take—it was what he had to do.
At least—that’s what he’d tell himself, every miserable day of his life to come.
Lelouch sighed, barely paying attention to the teacher at the head of the class—instead, lazily stared at the board—thinking over all that had happened in recent days.
So Shirley was going to be sent back to Britannia now—well, at least she’d be all right, but…he couldn’t help but fell a bit guilty about it.
After all, it was his fault that she had gotten hurt—she had come all that way to the battlefield just to find out if he was Zero or not. And then he had failed to protect her.
It always ended this way—always, even before he was Zero. People he cared about were hurt without him being able to stop it. It was that way with his mother, with Euphie, with Shirley…and maybe someday with Nunnally.
At least with one of them, he was given a second chance.
But every day the Black Knights sat around waiting, waiting for the right opportunity was a chance at saving Nunnally wasted.
At least negotiations with China had gone over smoothly. The Chinese Federation had been willing to accept an Alliance, and soon, maybe, the EU would too. With those three powers united—Black Knights, Chinese Federation, and EU, they would have enough manpower to take on Britannia.
And when that day arrived—he would rescue Nunnally at last.
It was late, sure—but at least she would be safe. Late was better than never.
Lelouch sighed, resting his head in his hands. Yes, that day had to come soon. With Schniezel in Japan and the Britannians finally starting to target the Black Knights, time was running out. He’d have to do it soon…or…
While Lelouch was lost in thought, someone on the other side of the room was watching him carefully.
Lelouch wouldn’t have shown up in school today if he had heard of Nunnally’s disappearance. He would have certainly ordered the Black Knights to storm every forgotten broom closet in Britannia until they found her. He wouldn’t be sitting here in class, not even pretending to pay attention if he had anything truly important on his mind.
Once again, Suzaku tried to keep the anger from rising up again, but he wasn’t doing a very good job of it. Shirley had been sent back to Britannia, Nunnally was missing, Euphie was dead—so many people, so many were dead or hurt because of him, and yet he just sat there, like he didn’t even care! Didn’t he ever once realize what this rebellion of his he was forcing on the world was doing? It was destroying more lives than it was saving! Euphie was proof of that!
And now Nunnally—Nunnally! If Lelouch continued down this path, Nunnally would end up dead as well! And he didn’t even see that!
Yes, this was the only way, Suzaku told himself once more. The only way to save her and end all this. He should have done it a long time ago but—
Well, he was doing it now, so that didn’t matter!
Still, Lelouch was his best friend—
Who—Who cared about that! This was bigger than that!
He had done it once before, hadn’t he? He could do it again! He could do it again…
He could…
The bell rang, and Suzaku released the fist he had been clenching, trying hard to wipe the glare from his face. No, he couldn’t do that now. Everything had to go smoothly. It had to.
For Nunnally.
Lelouch got up and lazily strode towards the door, looking to anyone else like he had been bored by the lecture instead of lost in thought. He was the last of the students to exit the classroom, save one.
“Lelouch,” Suzaku approached him, surprised by how numb he was.
“Suzaku?” Lelouch asked in almost a daze. Almost like a mask being slipped on, a smile came across his face. “I haven’t talked to you in a while. What is it? Problems at the office?”
“A few, but nothing that I can’t handle.” That’s right, I can handle this. “But you’re right, we haven’t talked in a while—why don’t we go have a nice chat now; go catch up on things.”
Hmm…this was odd. Suzaku willingly wanting to talk like this? It seemed suspicious…especially now that Suzaku was under a lot of stress, what with Schniezel ordering him around…could it be a trap? Lelouch almost reached for his cellphone, to speed dial Kallen, just in case…
Lelouch thought it over carefully. If Suzaku wanted to arrest him, then he wouldn’t bother to do it sneakily like this. He’d just call the guards and hall him out in front of his class for everyone to see. But doing it like this…he was certain that Suzaku knew he was Zero, so perhaps it was a matter of greater importance than petty battles over the world?
Maybe it was a mistake, but he’d have to risk it. Suzaku wanted to talk to him. One-on-one. It must be important.
“How about we go up to the roof?” Suzaku suggested. “After all, it’s where we used to meet as children, remember?”
How could he not? Those days seemed like only yesterday…
“So, what is it you wanted to talk about?” Lelouch asked at once, as Suzaku leaned against the railing, looking up at the sky with disinterested eyes. “Bad day at work yesterday?”
“You could say that.” Suzaku began in Japanese, never even turning to look back at his best friend. “Schniezel fired me.”
“He what?” Schniezel had…he couldn’t do that! “But Knights of Round are specifically placed by the Emperor! That bastard, thinking he has the right to do whatever he wants—you should go in there and remind him of all your service towards Britannia, and Area 11, and then ask him if he thought he could do a better job than you—!”
Suzaku cut him off, with a dry laugh. “Seeing you angry like that makes it sound almost like you care.”
Lelouch stopped abruptly; he had been compiling a list in his head of all the things Suzaku could do to get his job back. “I—I do care! Schniezel can’t fire you when you’ve been doing a good job! Look at the Shinjuku Restoration! The Elevens have a more favorable view of the government more than ever before! You deserve that post, after all, you were appointed—”
“Oh, shut up already,” Suzaku turned towards him, glaring. “You only care because Schniezel will make it harder for your precious Black Knights.”
That caught Lelouch off guard; violet eyes widening slightly. Knowing nothing else to say, he mumbled, “You…?”
“That’s right. I know. And don’t play dumb. You know I know, too.”
Lelouch clenched his jaw, Suzaku’s words feeling like a punch to the gut. Well, fine. If he wanted it that way, then, fine! “I shouldn’t have expected you to pretend forever,” Lelouch finally agreed, coming to lean against the rail as well. “I figured it was only a matter of time before you resigned yourself to it.”
“I suspected it ever since the first day,” Suzaku admitted. “No other person could play Zero like you do.”
“I suppose that’s only natural. There can only be one Zero.”
“Right…” What was he stalling for? He had brought him up here for that reason, didn’t he? To rescue Nunnally!
“So, is that all you wanted to tell me?” Lelouch asked. “That you’ve been fired and to let me know you’ve known all along?”
This was it—no, it couldn’t be that he was getting anxious now, was he? He had to pull this off properly or—
“No, that’s not it.” Suzaku let go of the rail and faced his best friend, trying to force himself into a stoic state. “Have you heard about Nunnally, lately?”
“Nunnally?” Ah, even now his eyes would light up at a mere mention of her. “She’s—she’s in Britannia, isn’t she? I mean…I know you’ve placed bodyguards with her, and you go to watch over her.”
“When I can, I try to protect her. Unlike you.”
A few hairs on the back of Lelouch’s neck stood up. There was something wrong here… “Suzaku?”
“And that’s why I have to do this, Lelouch. To protect Nunnally.” Suzaku’s fingers clenched. And now a gleam of something had appeared in his eyes.
Something was very, very wrong.
“Suzaku? What are you talking about?”
Green eyes narrowed at once—Lelouch never saw his fist coming until he flew back, pain in his cheek.
Suzaku had hit him.
“Suzaku! What the fuck?”
“Even as Zero, you never tried to protect Nunnally!” Suzaku roared, voice raw with emotion. “That’s why I have to do it! To keep her from ending up like Shirley! Or like Euphie!”
“Suzaku—!”
Another fist, this time catching him in the chest. Lelouch fell backward—hard onto the roof, and then Suzaku was above him, smacking him hard across the face. One large hand came to turn him over and pin him to the ground—face first—arms held firmly behind his back.
“What the fuck are you—!”
“Nunnally’s been taken hostage, damnit!” Suzaku roared, causing Lelouch to freeze. “That’s right—she’s gone, and her bodyguard died trying to protect her! The Emperor had her taken, and I know why! He wants to see the end of this! He wants the rebellion in Japan finished, and he wants me to end it! That’s why—I’ll drag your miserable body to him and demand her release. Don’t worry—in then, you’ll have protected her after all. Isn’t that what you wanted, huh, Lelouch?”
Lelouch couldn’t respond. Too many thoughts ran through is head. Nunnally. Captured. Emperor. End it all.
Nunnally. Nunnally was in danger. In danger of being killed. And yet…he couldn’t get to her. The only way was…if he didn’t struggle, she would be released. She would be free, even if he had to be sacrificed…
But…But—!
Lelouch spoke through clenched teeth, “Suzaku…it won’t work. The Emperor won’t do things that way. You don’t know…You don’t know what he’s done to his own family! What he did to my mother! And Euphie—!”
“What happened to Euphie was your fault, not his!” Suzaku roared, shoving Lelouch’s face harder into the hard concrete. “It was because of your geass that she died, don’t you dare try to blame it on anyone else!”
Oh Euphie…and that day…that horrible day… “Suzaku…I don’t deny that it was my geass that gave the order…but on that day, there’s something you need to know—About that day—!”
“I don’t care what you’re trying to say! You’ll only place the blame on someone else! I don’t want to hear your lies!”
“But Suzaku—!”
“Shut up!” Lelouch’s head was slammed down once more—he cried out at the pain. “Just shut up! I said I don’t want to hear it! I don’t want to hear anything out of your lying mouth, ever again!”
Lelouch thought he saw something sparkling drop on the ground next to him…a raindrop? No, it wasn’t raining…
But that’s what it had to be. Even now, Suzaku wouldn’t be crying, would he? After all, he was the victor. He should be basking in the glory, not conflicted with feelings of long ago friendship.
The one crying here should be him. After all, he had lost.
Lost…
Suzaku reached for his phone, dialing the Britannian forces. “This is Kururugi,” he said, voice unwavering. “I’ve captured Zero. Yes, at the school! …I don’t care. Tell Schniezel if he wants the King of the Elevens, then I’ll willingly hand him over. But on my terms. Just get here at once.” And the conversation ended.
Suzaku looked back at Lelouch, who was oddly quiet. “What, no struggling?”
…If I don’t struggle, then Nunnally will be released.
“I thought you would have called one of your lackeys to try to rescue you by now.”
If I just admit defeat like this, then Nunnally can be saved.
“Well, Zero? Are you really giving up that easily?”
Lelouch shut his eyes tight. As long as Nunnally is safe, nothing else matters!
“Lelouch!” came a distant cry. Lelouch barely registered it—he understood what had happened as Suzaku’s grip lessened.
“Kallen?” Suzaku’s voice became deeper; angry. “Get out of here. Your Zero has willingly admitted defeat.”
Kallen…?What is she…?
“Like hell he has!” she yelled back, and then there was a gunshot. Suzaku gave a startled cry as the bullet grazed his shoulder. He let go just slightly—
Lelouch didn’t move.
“How dare you fire on a Knight of Rounds!” Suzaku yelled, but he didn’t have his weapon on him. Kallen still held her gun, and charged forward, knocking the Knight of Rounds out of the way as she ran for Lelouch—
“What are you doing? Get up! We have to get out of here! Price Schniezel is planning an attack on our base—”
Right…the base…the Black Knights…if he did nothing, they would be wiped out…
But all this stalling—Nunally—!
“Hurry!”
Lelouch didn’t remember how they got out of there. He didn’t remember if he looked back at Suzaku—his former best friend. In fact, he didn’t remember leaving the school, or making their way back to the base—all he remembered was that thought—that thought that kept frantically running through his mind.
Nunnally’s in danger. And it’s because of you.
Every second he wasted with the Black Knights was another second she remained in captivity. And yet here he was, in the garb of Zero, ordering the Black Knights to retreat to their base in China!
Wasn’t this rebellion for Nunnally? Didn’t he start it in order to build a better world for her? What was he doing? Why was he here—inside the Black Knight’s ship—leaving Japan for China in order to preserve the rebellion? Why didn’t he just refuse Kallen? Why didn’t he just let himself surrender?
Hadn’t this all gone on long enough?
Somehow, he staggered into that room, that room where she was hidden. As the door slid shut, Lelouch fell to his knees, Zero’s helmet falling off.
He never wanted to be Zero in here, never. Here, with her, he just wanted to be Lelouch.
But even now, just being Lelouch was painful.
He fell on all fours, breathing heavily, as everything, everything around him began to shatter. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t do this anymore. Not with Nunnally in danger. Not when Zero was endangering all that he loved. What was the point of Zero if everything he tried to protect was hurt in the end?
He would have to give up….he would have to give up…but if he gave up, was it a guarantee of Nunnally’s safety? Could he trust those that held her captive?
Tears filled his eyes. A tear even filled that eye—a violet one that was beginning to flicker red.
C.C. had said the geass would bring suffering. And she was right…was she ever right…
The door behind him slid open. And for once, Lelouch didn’t care who it was. He didn’t care if it was some Black Knight operative who found him there. He couldn’t bring himself to care anymore.
It was C.C. When she saw him—on his knees, pitiful and crying, she couldn’t even speak. As the door slid shut behind her, she ran for him, and pulled him straight into her arms.
“C.C…” he whimpered.
“Kallen told me something had happened,” she spoke in a soothing voice. “Please, Lelouch…tell me.”
“Nunnally…” he whimpered, like a lost child. “It’s Nunnally…the Emperor has captured her…a hostage…if I don’t surrender…”
It was just as C.C. thought. Yes, Charles would stoop that low again. “Lelouch…are you going to surrender?” She pulled away from him so she could look into his eyes—those eyes full of tears, and that eye, now beginning to slowly fade to red. “Will you give all this up to save Nunnally?”
Would you leave me like that, Lelouch?
“I began this rebellion to save Nunnally!” he suddenly lashed out. “But I can’t even do that—I lost my mother, I lost Euphie, I almost lost Shirley! I can’t lose Nunnally…I can’t lose her!”
“Lelouch, please, calm down, you won’t be able to think if you don’t calm down—!”
“Everyone leaves me in the end—Mother, Euphie, Shirely, Suzaku—and now Nunnally! I don’t want to do this if I’m going to be alone in the end, with everyone I love dead! I just want them at peace! I don’t care what happens to me, I just want them all alive! I’d die for them, just as long as they’re alive—!”
“Lelouch!” C.C. had to stop him—she grabbed him suddenly, and pulled him into another kiss. It wasn’t a passionate one, just a plea to get him to stop. And it worked. After a moment of struggle, Lelouch relaxed, maybe even allowing himself to kiss her back.
Maybe C.C. was right. Maybe he was overreacting. He certainly didn’t want to die anytime soon.
But Nunally…
When C.C. pulled away, she rested her forehead against his, sighing. “Lelouch…I know you’re in pain. But please, calm down. Think. You can find your way out of this. You’ll find a way to save Nunnally without resorting to that. And not everyone will leave you. Even if everyone else leaves you—I’ll stay by your side. After all—”
“We’re accomplices,” he finished for her. When he looked back into her eyes, the flickering red was now gone—his eye was back to shining a brilliant violet. But C.C. knew it wouldn’t last long.
“C’mon, you don’t want her to see you like this, do you?” C.C. asked, glancing towards the bed in the corner. “You still have the Black Knights to lead. You’ll find your way out of this, and then, you can go after Nunnally—“
The door behind them slid open. C.C. had forgotten to lock it. Both Lelouch and C.C. turned abruptly, afraid it would be someone who didn’t know Zero’s identity—but after a second, Lelouch sighed. “Oh, it’s only you, Rolo.”
If only Rolo looked that happy to see him. After all, he just caught his Nii-san—touching—the witch. What was he doing with her? In this dark room? Weren’t they supposed to be only accomplices?
“What do you want?” Lelouch demanded. He couldn’t be bothered dealing with him when he had Nunnally to worry about.
“Your…friend from school said you looked upset about something before.” Rolo told him, trying not to sound too upset. After all, if his Nii-san needed him, he didn’t want to look angry, did he?
“That’s right, I was…but don’t worry about it. C.C. took care of it—and it doesn’t concern you.”
Doesn’t concern--?! “But Nii-san…if it’s about you, then it does concern me. After all, you’re my precious Nii-san—”
“Don’t say that.” Lelouch glared back at him, in a dark tone. C.C. froze, hoping it wasn’t what she thought it was. “Don’t call me that.”
“What, Nii-san—!”
Lelouch lashed out, “That! I’m not your brother!”
Rolo stepped back a moment, shock filling his face. “I…I know that…I know that we aren’t blood related, but…but…for a year, you were my…you said I was your—!”
“Your brother? Ha!” Lelouch spat. “Are you thick or something? You ate it all up so I just kept saying it! Why not when you were willing to do whatever I asked as long as I allowed you to call me that?!”
“Lelouch, stop it!” C.C. intervened, stepping between them. “Rolo, don’t listen, he’s upset—I need to explain something to you both about this—”
But it was too late. Lelouch wasn’t going to listen to her “explanation”—whatever it was. “You’re nothing to me!” he shouted over C.C.’s shoulder. “You’re just a tool to be used, then thrown away like a dirty rag. I don’t give a damn about you! So don’t you dare pretend you’re my family when my only family is worth a hundred times more than you!”
Rolo’s violet eyes—so much like his own—could only fill with tears at the shock of his brother’s words. “Nii-san…”
“I’m not your Nii-san! Get it through your stupid head! Now get out!”
“But…Lelouch…”
“Get out!” he screamed a final time, and then Rolo did get out—running out of the room and away—just somewhere to get away—
“Lelouch!” C.C. grabbed hold of him, to keep him from chasing after Rolo. “Lelouch…you shouldn’t have done that.”
“I don’t care! With Nunnally in danger, I’ve had enough of that pretender coming in and trying to take her place! I should have said this a long time ago!”
“But there’s something you need to understand!” She nearly shook it into him—yes, she had waited too long, the only way to repair the damage was to do it now. “Lelouch, it’s something you need to know, about Rolo. It’s…it’s kind of hard to explain, but you have to listen! Rolo really is your—”
C.C. never got a chance to finish, because the moment she said it, the ship lurched forward. C.C. fell towards Lelouch in the aftershock, while more clangs and bangs were heard all over the ship.
“What—?” Lelouch shouted, as his phone went off.
“Lelouch! Get up here right now!” Kallen called him. “We have company.”
“Right!” Lelouch grabbed his Zero helmet off the floor, turning so fast that his Zero cape flung out behind him. But as he gripped it, he paused, turning back towards the witch. “C.C.?” What was it she wanted to tell him so badly?
The witch sighed. “Go. I’ll tell you when you get back.”
Lelouch nodded, throwing on his helmet as he ran out of the room. C.C. gave another sigh, leaning against the occupied bed. Maybe it was a mistake in not telling him right away, but…well, he had more important things, after all.
Lelouch raced towards the bridge of their ship, looking out toward the open skies below. “What is it?” Zero bellowed, trying to put aside his emotions for the meantime.
“The Britannians,” Ougi said, pointing. Sure enough, Britannian forces were in pursuit of their retreat with a knightmare Lelouch recognized leading the attack.
“Kururugi,” Lelouch glared. Damnit, you’ll chase me this far, Suzaku?
Of course he would. He was trying to save Nunnally, after all.
A transmission was being sent through. Of course it was from Suzaku. “I’ll have you know that Britannian forces are already closing in from the Chinese front. It’s all over for your retreat, unless you agree to our terms.”
“Terms?” Well, that was a word the Black Knights weren’t used to having it used against them in that way. “What terms?” Zero demanded.
“Hmph, you should know well enough, Zero.” Suzaku glared. “I want you. Leave your ship and come out here, in your Knightmare.”
“I won’t surrender to you!”
“Well, fine then. I’ll challenge you one-on-one. Think you can handle it without your pawns used as backup?”
Kallen turned at once to Lelouch by her side. “Don’t listen to him, Zero. I can go out in my Guren and take him on no problem—if we release the cannon we can take out many of the forces—”
Yes, that would be the logical move for Zero, but…what did Lelouch want to do?
“I’ll agree to his challenge.”
“What?” Kallen demanded. “But—Zero!”
“I said I’ll agree to it.” Zero glanced back towards her.
Even Ougi had to protest. “Doing it alone will be terribly dangerous, Zero. You should take someone with you—”
“I’ll go alone. I have to honor Lord Kururugi’s request, after all. Don’t worry—do you have so little faith in Zero that you think I don’t have a plan?”
Truth was, he didn’t have a plan. But they didn’t need to know that.
One person didn’t want to let him go so easily. “Zero! You shouldn’t—!” Kallen protested.
“Kallen,” he silenced her. “This is something I have to do.”
And with that, she let him turn and walk away. Though she knew she would regret it later.
“So, met my challenge, did you, Zero?” Suzaku said, as Shinkirou went out to meet him.
“I agreed to it,” Lelouch told him, without a hint of emotion in his voice.
“You’re a fool, Zero.”
“Maybe,” he agreed. Still…this isn’t about Zero, and he knows…it all boils down to Nunnally…
“Well then,” The Lancelot went into attack position. “Let’s begin.”
But Lelouch wasn’t about to be taken so easily. Punching it, the Shinkirou turned and headed for the first spot of cover it could find—Kamenejima.
“Hey!” Suzaku roared, the Lancelot chasing after him. What the Hell was Lelouch thinking? Why bother meeting his challenge if he was just going to turn and run away?
As for Lelouch, he knew exactly what he was doing. Whatever happened, he didn’t want the Black Knights to see it. Especially not Kallen.
Or C.C., for that matter. No, if Zero went down, he would go down with dignity—even if Lelouch willingly surrendered.
“Zero’s gone! He’s heading for that island!” Kallen shouted, pointing towards the screen. “We should go after him!”
“But what about the Britannian blockade! We can’t forget about them—!”
“But—!”
They were cut off, as a transmission was sent to the ship. Appearing before them on the screen was a face that they recognized.
“Price Schniezel!”
The prince smiled back at them—a smirk that Kallen thought seemed so familiar—hmm, maybe it ran in Lelouch’s family.
“What is it you want?” Ougi glared back. What was a Britannain prince doing contacting them like this? Did he have the gall to think that they would willingly surrender?
“I just have a little piece of information I’d like to share with you?”
“Information?” Kallen countered. “Right. Like we’d believe anything you’d tell us, Britannian Bastard!”
Schniezel’s smirk grew wider. “Charming. In any case, I have something I’d like to tell you. You can choose whether or not you want to believe it.”
There was a pause. “Fine. Tell us.”
“Ougi-san!” Kallen objected.”You can’t seriously believe anything he tells us!”
“He said we’re free to believe what we wish. He can tell us what he wants.” Ougi quickly switched to Japanese, “In the mean time, get the weapons ready. We can’t be sure if this is a trap.”
Schniezel couldn’t speak Japanese, could he? Because judging from the look in Schniezel’s eyes, he might have guessed what they were thinking.
Kallen knew this was a bad idea. What is it he wants to tell us? It wouldn’t be for our benefit…so what?
“I wonder, Black Knights…would you like to know the identity of Zero?”
“Stop running, Lelouch!” Suzaku yelled, chasing after the Shinkirou in the Lancelot, watching as the black Knightmare descended to the island, hidden by the forest of trees. “Are you a coward?”
Maybe. Maybe he was always a coward. But he didn’t care. He didn’t care if Suzaku called him a coward. All he could do was put a little distance between them while he tried to decide what he was going to do.
Nunnally…how could he save Nunnally? He could go back to his original plan of freeing her when he destroyed Britannia—but that could take months! He could go by himself in his knightmare, but he didn’t have the fuel to make it that far. And besides—Zero would probably stick out in the land of his enemy.
He could surrender. He could give it all up right now order to save Nunnally. He could give himself up—though he would die, Nunnally would be free…
And if he was only destined to lose more things close to him, wasn’t it better to end it all quicker? Why care about trivial things when there were more important lives at stake?
Yes, there was that…there was one more option, however, but that one seemed near impossible now.
Suzaku would never agree to it. Suzaku wouldn’t lower himself to work with him again—no, Suzaku was far to high and mighty for that. After all it wasn’t the right way of doing things.
If he surrendered, then it meant another triumph, for Suzaku, traitor to Japan; his ex-best friend, the one who would have rather turned him in than save Nunnally with him last time. The one who licked the emperor’s boots for a simple promotion. That hypocrite, who betrayed everything he was and once believed in for self-gratification!
He had never felt rage like this pour into him before. Was it the stress? Was it bottled up feelings? He didn’t know, he didn’t know…all he knew was every fiber of him burned knowing that Suzaku’s star only grew brighter with every misfortune that came upon Lelouch.
They had worked together once before, but that time only showed Lelouch how wrong he was about him. If he surrendered to Suzaku, no doubt he would milk it up and leave him to die without a second thought! After all, Suzaku had shot him when Lelouch himself couldn’t shoot, Suzaku had been the one to take things farther when Lelouch himself could not. Suzaku was the one who betrayed him time and time again—why should he surrender when it meant that Suzaku the Traitor would be hailed as a hero once again?
Yes, the fire boiled in Lelouch’s belly now. There was one last option. He didn’t care about his own life as long as Nunnally was safe. If he could not surrender—then he could remove himself from the world his own way. Once gone, she would be released, right?
Only one thing to do now. Only one thing that could fix all this—and put Suzaku that fucking traitor in his place. One last stand for Zero, the Hero of Elevens—to go out in a full blaze of glory.
Shinkirou stopped abruptly, coming to a stop in the forest of Kamenejima. The Lancelot, that was in full pursuit, soon stopped as well, staring the Shinkirou down.
“So,” the cold voice of Kururugi Suzaku asked. “Done running?”
“What’s the point of running when I don’t have any options left?” Lelouch asked, fingers itching at the knightmare’s battle controls.
“Well, have you made your decision?”
“Yes.”
This was suicide—Suzaku was one of the best knightmare pilots in existence. It was madness, complete idiocy, in fact. Logically, it was a terrible idea.
Well, fuck logic. If he was going to die anyway, then he was going to do it on his terms.
This is for you, Nunnally. Lelouch thought for a brief moment, before suddenly punching the controls. The Shinkirou shot forward, trying to land a punch on the Lancelot. Of course the Lancelot blocked.
“Lelouch! What the Hell are you doing?” Suzaku roared, his knightmare rolling back several feet in response to the hit.
“If you want me to surrender so bad, then make me!” Lelouch charged forward again. This time the Lancelot blocked, and finding an opening, kicked Shinkirou back.
The Shinkirou was not a knightmare made for specialized combat—it was made for commanding operations and defense. But its Absolute Protection Field would do little help here, in close quarters.
Both knightmares circled each other, before charging in again. Guns were fired—bullets ricocheted off the knightmare’s armor. After a few more blows, the Lancelot brought out its twin swords.
Lelouch nearly missed getting the shields up in time. The Master Vibration swords struggled against the shields—the shields flickered under the stress. Two seconds…three seconds…Lelouch raced on the controls and yes, yes, it would hold!
“I’ve got you now, Kururugi,” Lelouch muttered to himself, preparing the Shinkirou’s cannon. But Suzaku was ready. The instant the shields went down for the cannon, he struck—the swords couldn’t even be seen as they flashed through the air—one swipe and the cannon was disabled.
“Damnit!” Lelouch punched the reverse, but the swords broke through before the shields could go up. Another lunge, and another—the sword dove into the Shinkirou’s shoulder—Lelouch cursed; large grinding sounds were heard, and then a sickening crunch as one of the Shinkirou’s arms came off landing hard on the ground.
Suzaku struck again, lunging at the disabled knightmare once more. Lelouch knew when this battle was won. As the sword dove into the knightmare’s chest, the ejection seat was fired. Seconds later, the Shinkirou exploded, pieces of the black knightmare flying high into the sky.
The ejection seat landed hard in the forest, with Lelouch spilling out as soon as it hit. He was disoriented even as he got up, but he could see a particular Knight of Seven exiting the Lancelot and running towards him, gun drawn.
No, no, he couldn’t lose this easily! Lelouch grabbed his own gun and fired, narrowly missing Suzaku’s left ear.
The Knight of Seven only narrowed his eyes. “Give it up, Lelouch. It’s over.”
Lelouch leveled his weapon. “Not yet.”
“What, are you trying to do suicide-by-cop?” Suzaku’s eyes narrowed. “That’s the most pathetic thing I’ve ever seen.”
“At least I’ll die with my honor, which is more than I can say for you.”
“Oh yeah? And what about Nunnally!”
Lelouch didn’t answer. Let that bastard figure it out on his own. He raised his gun in a challenge. Acknowledging it, Suzaku readied himself.
They remained still for only one moment, as the fire from the Shinkirou crackled behind them. The forest was silent except for that slow crackle; it was like even the wildlife stopped and watched this moment, when it would all finally come to an end.
At last, at last…
They charged. Rounds were fired, all misses, though a bullet hole was shot through Zero’s cape.
Lelouch retreated to behind the ejection seat for cover. Suzaku took none, holding his own as Lelouch continued to fire. Another shot, another bang—Suzaku had once shot his shoulder. He wanted to give Suzaku a few scars of his own, a bittersweet memento of his former best friend.
Suzaku never fired close to Lelouch. Why not? Suzaku had never held back before. Damnit, just kill him already! Let him die like this and not like a dog in some Britannian prison!
Dodging another one of Lelouch’s shots, the Knight of Seven waited for that moment when Lelouch had to reload. The remainder of the gunfight only lasted a few more seconds, though they seemed like an eternity. Suzaku fired once more, and then charged, dropping his gun, and instead, grabbing that sword at his side.
A lunge, a slash, and then a single scream.
There was chaos on the Black Knight’s ship. C.C. didn’t know what happened, but all she knew was there were more loud bangs coming from the ship’s interior. She felt the recoil every time the cannon was fired—they had entered a large battle.
She remained in that room with her; she had no other place to go now that Lelouch had left and hadn’t come back.
She hoped he would be alright, but she didn’t know…he was still distraught over Nunnally’s kidnapping. He wouldn’t do anything stupid, would he? Like try to turn himself over to Suzaku in order to save his sister’s life?
Please, Lelouch, don’t be an idiot! Get back here so I can stop worrying about you!
With a sigh, C.C. turned to look at the owner of the bed. “It’s a good thing you can’t worry about him anymore. I’m sure if you were awake now, you’d be worried sick. It’s only fair, after all. I mean, Lelouch has already been so worried about you…”
The door slid open. C.C. turned. Oh, it was only Rolo. Well, too bad for him, Lelouch had already left.
Though, as the door slid shut, C.C. noticed that dangerous look in the violet eyes.
“Is there something you wanted?” she asked, hoping he’d bring up what she said before. After all, that needed to be said sometime before things got any worse.
“I wonder, why did he leave you here?” the boy asked, his tone revealing nothing.
“What?” Well, that wasn’t what she was expecting him to say. “What do you mean?”
“I wonder why—if my brother values you more than me—why he left you here when he went off to go challenge Kururugi.”
C.C.’s eyes widened. Challenge…Suzaku? Is he an idiot? Why would he—no, no, he’s not that stupid, is he? I can’t let him do that!
C.C. went for the door, but Rolo blocked the way, with narrowed eyes. “Move.”
“No.”
“I have to do something important. Something to help your brother. Now let me through.”
“No. Maybe I don’t want you helping Lelouch.” Rolo sounded weird referring to him by his first name. “You already help him more than I do!”
C.C. sighed. Oh. That’s what it was about. “Rolo, don’t take it to heart what he said. He was upset. Besides, he was wrong—you really are his brother. He just doesn’t know it yet. I’m serious. You and Lelouch have the same parents—!”
“Stop it!” Rolo glared, stepping forward. There was something very odd about the way he glared at her. “Don’t lie to me to make me feel better! I don’t want your pity! Not the same pity you give him!”
“Rolo, I’m not lying. It’s true—!”
“I told you to stop lying! I don’t want to hear any words out of your filthy mouth! I don’t want advice or pity or anything from any of you—any of you that Lelouch cares about before me! You, that Kallen girl, Kururugi, and this thing are taking him away from me!”
“I’m not—!”
“It’s your fault he doesn’t want me anymore! You’re the one who made him turn away from me!”
By now, Rolo was walking towards her, forcing C.C. to back up into the wall. Not because she was afraid—oh no, this kid couldn’t kill her. But because something about him just made her want to get away from him as soon as possible. “I never wanted to do that, just listen, you—!”
“It’s just like with that Shirley girl—you all want to take Nii-san away from me! You want him for yourselves! But if I take you out of the way, Nii-san won’t have you to distract him! All he’ll care about is me!”
“You’re insane, Rolo. Stop this!”
“I won’t!” By now, the sixteen year old whipped out his knife. “I don’t care if you can’t even die, witch, I’ll find a way. Out of all of them, you’re the worst! You’re the one he looks to for comfort! It’s because of you that he won’t confide in me anymore! You were the first one to take Nii-san away from me, so I’ll get rid of you first!”
The knife flashed down. C.C. ducked. At that second, the ship hit a bump again and Rolo fell forward—the knife grazing C.C. and then the tip of it jammed right into the empty power socket.
There was a spark, and a shock—Rolo was blasted across the room, landing hard and unconscious. The lights in the ship flickered momentarily. It was all over in a second, but it left C.C. shocked and silent for a few more.
Rolo wasn’t getting up. He must have been hit hard. Well, she might as well move him and make sure to lock the door this time—she didn’t want him coming in here again, especially not with her to look after.
There was a stirring noise. C.C. glanced at Rolo, expecting it to be him, but it took a while to realize that the sound was coming from behind her.
She froze. No…it couldn’t be…
The power shock must have done something to the machines. As C.C. turned, she saw the one in the bed slowly rise up, hair falling forward in curled tendrils. A hand shakily reached up to brush aside the long, flowing locks. And then two vibrant purple eyes slowly opened.
C.C. could say nothing but, “You’re awake?”
The form blinked at her, giving her a dazed, confused look. And then, she asked, “You….are…?”
Lelouch’s gloved hand gripped the metal sword, as if to pull it out. He had been stabbed in that shoulder—right over the bullet wound from a year ago.
“That hurt,” he muttered, glaring back up at the Knight of Seven above him.
Suzaku said nothing, but instead pulled the sword out (Lelouch groaned in pain) and then positioned it right above Lelouch’s heart.
“It’s time to end this,” His eyes were empty, trying to showing no emotion.
Lelouch narrowed his eyes. At last, the left one succumbed—and the violet faded into dark red. Though Lelouch hadn’t noticed, Suzaku tensed for a moment—there was the demon eye again, taunting him from afar this time.
Lelouch didn’t notice the difference in his eyes. Hmm…it was dark out now…when had it gotten dark? The only light came from the burning Shinkirou, with the crackling sound heard in the distance. So, this was how it would all come to an end… “Fine.” He raised his own gun.
“By the time you fire, you’ll already be dead.” warned Suzaku.
“I know.”
“And you don’t care?”
“As long as my point is made.”
“What point? You lost, and you sit here on the edge of defeat, and you still—!”
He always was like this, couldn’t he see that it was over? Why did he have to be such a—
“Why not figure things out for yourself for once, Kururugi?” Lelouch snarled. “Now if you’re going to kill me, why not do it now?”
Suzaku offered, “Why not try to shoot me first, and save your own life? You like underhanded things like that!”
“Stop analyzing me and do it!” Lelouch’s grip tensed. “Get on with it already!”
It had to be done now, before he had a chance to think it over—
“Why should I?”
“Oh, just going to stand there with the sword forever? You wanted to get rid of Zero, didn’t you? Now do it!” That geass symbol in Lelouch’s left eye shone bright—like even his eye was tempting him to be rid of it once and for all.
“I will!” Suzaku roared, and yet he still didn’t budge. The only signs of his struggle was in the strain in his green eyes…and the small tears forming in the corners. “I will!”
“Aren’t you a Knight of Rounds? Duty to the Empire and all that? I told you to do it!”
“Oh yeah? Why don’t you just pull that trigger and go save Nunnally yourself?” Suzaku snarled.
“I can’t do that?”
“Why, are you a coward?”
“What about you?”
“I asked you the question!” It was just like they were children again…squabbling over the last piece of candy. How had those carefree days come to this…?
“You want to know why? Fine!” Lelouch roared, throwing his gun to the side. “Because I won’t shoot my best friend!”
Suzaku froze, mouth falling open slightly. The point of the sword lowered for a moment. “You…” When Suzaku looked back up again, tears were in his eyes. “Don’t say things like that! How dare you call me your friend when after everything you’ve done—”
“Oh, what about yourself? You’ve betrayed me once before! This should be easy for you. One slice, and then you’d be honored above all Rounds. Isn’t that what you want?”
“How the Hell do you know what I want!” Some of the tears broke free. “How do you fucking know anything about my life? You know nothing!”
“Then just kill me and get it over with! If you ever called yourself my friend, then let me die with dignity!”
“Fine!” Suzaku’s face contorted in anger. “Fine I’ll do it…I’ll do it!” He raised the sword again, prepared himself for the kill, those his fingers shook. He tried to remember all those feelings he had before—remembering all the innocent people that Lelouch had killed—remembering Euphie—Knowing Nunnally would be saved by this.
Yes, the world would be better off with Zero. It was best to respect his wishes and get rid of him here. No doubt he would be promoted to Knight of One like this. He could then take Japan back, and rule it like he wanted, in Lelouch’s memory.
All that could happen with one simple thing, just a simple thing…Just thrust and then it would be all over…everything would be over.
Blinking tears, Suzaku pulled back. He was going to do it, he was going to do it…remember, this is Zero. A murderer of many, her killer…guilty of every crime…
He tried to see Zero. But all he could see was Lelouch, his best friend.
Suzaku turned away. No, he couldn’t look at him if he had to do it—not just because of the memories, but also because he didn’t want Lelouch to see it—his tears.
One last thing…one thing he had to say before this was over…before he ended it…“Lelouch…I…”
He never got a chance to finish. Suddenly, Suzaku collapsed, and that sword—Lelouch’s escape—was left clattering to the ground.
“Suzaku!”
But everything spun, and then, Lelouch fell as well.
Behind him, V.V. smirked. Don’t worry, Lelouch. You’ll see your precious Nunnally soon.
The ground was cold.
That was Lelouch’s first thought as he came to. Cold and hard.
How long had it been since he passed out? It seemed only seconds, but it could have been hours. Ugh, and he ached all over…
He tried to lift himself up, and realized at once that he was not in the forest anymore. The ground below was like a floor, except he felt like he was outside?
Huh? Lifting his head up, he saw that he was on some kind of platform, suspended in the Clouds. Everything around him had a kind of an orange tint.
What?
Scanning the platform, it seemed empty—save one person.
One person that Lelouch remembered vividly. The one person who had caused all this.
The first person he had learned to hate.
The Emperor smirked as Lelouch snarled, “You—!”
Chapter 14 here
Thus concludes the "Everything goes to shit" chapter.
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I've been waiting for this!!! And OMG!!!! I love this chapter sooooo much!!!
Especially this -
“You want to know why? Fine!” Lelouch roared, throwing his gun to the side. “Because I won’t shoot my best friend!”
I love this Lelouch so much!!! I get really annoyed with the anime coz he always doesn't have the chance to clarify himself to others!!!
This chapter made me hyper!!! If it wasn't for my father who's at home right now, I'd be squealing in delight!!! XDD
*squeals and squeals again*
You just made my day.
*continues to wait with anticipation*
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I was also kind of upset in the anime that Lelouch never got a chance to tell Suzaku the truth of things, but I think it was because he believed that Suzaku hated him, so why bother? Wheras in this fanfic, after the S1 arc, and how Suzaku knew Lelouch was Zero and never did anything about it, Lelouch just knows better.
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OMG, this chapter was epic! I can't wait for more! X3
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I'll try to get it out as soon as I can (three more chapters-ish...I want it finally finished so I don't have to worry about it anymore.)
But since I'm stuck working 40+ hours a week...ehh...D:
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The ending scene with the two of them was great too. Funny how Lelouch wanted to die, and yet said the one thing that stalled Suzaku
As always, can't wait to see what's next. :D
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I'm hoping to get it up soon after Otakon. :D
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