2009-09-26 05:52![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png)
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code_geass
inulovinkit.livejournal.com in code_geassI hate school. T_T
Rating:PG-13.
Pairing: LelouchxC.C., SuzakuxEuphie, (implied) Suzalulu.
Summary: So, what would have happened if Suzaku had received the Geass in Stage 1 instead of Lelouch? We'd have one messed up story on our hands.
Chapter 1 here
.
I really, REALLY hate writing papers. So why am I double majoring in English and History? I must be a masochist like Suzaku. T_T
“I don’t understand. How could this be—”
“It just happened that way.”
“But…it’s impossible! They—they told me she was dead! How could she still—!”
“It’s simple; they lied. Surely you can figure that out.”
Suzaku couldn’t even muster the annoyance to give him a glare. He was still far too stunned. How was it that this could have happened? How could she—Euphie—still be alive?
She should have died that day. That was what everyone thought. But she had indeed survived—in a coma, but survived—hidden away by the Emperor himself.
And now here she was, before his eyes—alive, and awake.
Well, not quite awake. At the moment, Princess Euphemia Li Britannia lay sleeping on a futon inside the old Kururugi mansion. But she had awoken from that coma, and as long as nothing else happened (they hoped) it would stay that way.
“How did you find her?” When only a few, harsh seconds of silence passed, he growled, “Tell me!”
“I already told you all I know,” Suzaku’s former best friend shot back. “C.C. happened upon her locked away in a room in the Britannian palace. It seems that Cornelia knew about it too—she was the one that led C.C. to it. And Euphie was there—asleep, but still alive. We managed to sneak out her out and I’ve been taking care of her ever since.”
“And how did she get like this?”
“Dunno—C.C. said something about a power outage. Must have scrambled the machines and sent an electrical signal to her brain or something—I heard once that it can wake those in a coma up in a few cases.”
Suzaku ran a few fingers in his hair, trying to make sense of it all. “Still…why did the Emperor have her in the first place? Why not just tell everyone—”
“Oh come off it, Suzaku, surely you’re not that much of an idiot. The Emperor kept her around as a hostage to use against you…or me, perhaps. Maybe not. For me, he had Nunnally.”
“For both of us,” Suzaku reminded, green eyes as serious as ever. “And they still have her.”
“Right,” Lelouch didn’t like it that that particular fact just had to be spoken outloud.
Of course they had Nunnally. And of course they would use Nunnally in any way they saw fit until they had a chance to get her out of there.
How long that would take, however, was another matter…
“So…what do we do?” Suzaku leaned against the walls of the small room—a room that he hadn’t been in in nearly 8 years.
For once, even Lelouch wasn’t so sure. He was the master planner, with everything worked out down to the very last detail. But now…with Nunnally and Euphie and Suzaku and everything else that had happened in the past 48 hours…frankly, he just wanted to take a break from being the strategist, or a fearless leader.
“We wait,” Lelouch sighed. “Just…Euphie. We have to wait for Euphie to get better, right?”
“Yeah…”
The door to the small room slid open, and in came C.C., looking as she usually did—neutral and unreadable. “Well, it doesn’t look like anyone followed us—we would have been ambushed by now, if they did.”
“It’s a good thing we escaped through the woods and kept low to the water on the way back, then.” Suzaku replied. “By now I’m sure to be labeled an official deserter—possibly a traitor if anyone else saw me with Zero. If they had seen the Lancelot they would have come after me by now.” And knowing Gino and how he would take the news, he would have been the first one running.
Lelouch added dryly, “It would have been a lot easier if we had the Shinkirou to just travel underwater instead.” Suzaku shot him a glare.
“Anyway,” C.C. thought she would cut in incase this got ugly. “We should be safe here for a few days.”
“Good, that’s long enough to wait for it to die down. And hopefully long enough for Euphie to rest until she can travel.”
Suzaku couldn’t let that get by. “Wait, we’re bringing Euphie?”
Lelouch cast him a sideways glance—his crimsion geass eyes unable to be read. “You suggest we leave her here?”
“What? No! But—!”
“We can’t stay here for very long; someone will remember that the Kururugis kept a shrine in Japan. And if we ever want to rescue Nunnally, we have to leave sometime.”
“Well, yes, but do we have to take Euphie? She shouldn’t be—!”
“We don’t have any other options,” Lelouch ended it. “Unless there’s someone on the outside that you trust with this.”
Suzaku didn’t have to think very long. “No…there’s no one.”
“It’s settled then.”
C.C. couldn’t help but smirk at the exchange—Suzaku looked downright abashed that Lelouch had schooled him so easily. Well, Suzaku was never the debater that Lelouch was…Though it must be killing Suzaku inside to admit to himself that Lelouch was right.
Still, there was one thing that had to be addressed, “Though, I’m surprised that Euphie is…well…last time I saw her, she was…”
He didn’t need to say it. They remembered all too well of the horrors of the Special Administrative Zone on that day.
“I think I know why,” C.C. answered. “When she woke up, she was confused; she barely registered what was going on, and she sleeps more than she is awake. This is normal for someone just waking up from a coma, it should go away in a few days. But I did ask her about what she remembered from last time she was awake, and she said she could barely remember.” The witch glanced back at the princess sleeping so soundly on the floor. “She remembers getting ready to go to that place that morning, but nothing else.”
“And that means?” Lelouch asked.
“Geass works through memory. While someone under the influence suffers amnesia due to its effects, the memory of it being cast is still there. However, if someone suffers amnesia from some other source and physically cannot recall the moment the geass was cast on them, then its effects are negated. Think of how you were before I awoke you from your condition several months ago.”
Lelouch remembered. “So this means…as long as she never remembers that day, she won’t—”
“Yes. So that means that you two had better stop fighting about it and learn to get along,” C.C. smirked, relishing at the uncomfortable looks that popped up on both of the boys’ faces.
Turning to look at the princess sleeping on the floor, C.C. asked, “Can’t we get her some better clothes? She really shouldn’t have to stay in that hospital gown for any longer.”
“The shrine has the old kimono closet,” Suzaku remembered. “It was full of protection from moths and bugs, so the stash should be fine.”
“Well, get her something warm, she might be cold, since this place doesn’t have heating anymore.”
“Ah—right!” Suzaku marched out at once.
Lelouch meant to stay in the room and watch over Euphie, but C.C. gave him a look that clearly said, Go after him.
He didn’t particularly want to; being around Suzaku these days was pretty awkward. But C.C. just kept staring and staring and looking at him with that look so he finally couldn’t stand it—“All right, all right, I’m going!”
C.C. merely grinned to herself as he turned and went into the hallway, trying to remember where the kimono closet was.
Hmm, where was it? Left and to the right?
Eventually he found it, and saw Suzaku just inside, with opened kimono storage boxes clumped around his feet. Hearing Lelouch come into the dark and stuffy room, Suzaku turned, but when he saw it was only him (his former enemy), he turned back to his work.
Lelouch didn’t know how to quite begin the conversation. “Need any help?”
Suzaku let out a breath that sounded very much like a skeptical huff. “I’m looking for some fall kimono in here—they’ll be warmer. All I can find are summer robes…” He deposited a heavy and expensive looking pile of kimono in Lelouch’s arms.
“Uh…yeah…” Lelouch hoped Suzaku didn’t notice how he struggled—damnit, why did kimono have to be so heavy! “Listen, um…” Great, how was he going to start this? It wasn’t like he wanted to bring it up either! “C.C. thinks…she thinks that we should—”
“Oh, found one!” Suzaku was ever so good at ignoring him. “You can put those down; I found a pile that we can actually wear—”
Shouldn’t he push the subject? “Right…so, anyway…” He took a breath; this was it. “C.C. thinks we should talk.”
“Maybe some other time. Euphie comes first.” And with that Suzaku, former Knight of Seven, turned on his heel and left him there.
Lelouch wanted to protest; it wasn’t fair of Suzaku to just try and ignore it when even he knew they had to talk! But Suzaku was right about one thing; Euphie came first.
“I found the kimono, and I found some more for the rest of us,” Suzaku said, setting the pile down. “They’re not too fancy, but they’re wearable.”
C.C. looked on approvingly, her eyes lighting up as she spotted a red kimono embroidered with black butterflies. “I like this one,” she said, pulling it aside. “Since she’s unconscious, she has second pick,” C.C. grinned, pulling the other teal kimono out from the pile.
Tossing the other two mens’ kimono at Lelouch, C.C. then raised her eyebrows. “Well, I have to change her into it, or would you two rather stick around?”
Lelouch lit up bright red. “Of course not—! Come on Suzaku—”
Suzaku, however, wasn’t so flustered. “I’m not so sure about leaving her.”
“Of course you should leave her! Just for a minute! C.C.’s going to undress her and you can’t see her like—!”
And then it dawned on him.
Oh.
Well…
Euphie had mentioned something of the sort…
Yes. But…
No. No. He wasn’t going to get into this. It wasn’t his business who Euphie went around—
Even if it was Suzaku.
It wasn’t his business. Even if she was his sister! it wasn’t his business. She was 16—no, 17 now—and he had no right to pry into her affairs, even if she was…well…involved with his best friend.
Ex-best friend. More like enemy.
Scratch that. Ex-enemy.
And Ex-friend.
Ah, whatever! It wasn’t his business!
Still…
“Come on,” Lelouch grabbed Suzaku and pulled him away.
It wasn’t his business. It didn’t mean he had to see it though.
Hours later, Lelouch sat on the old tatami mats of the Kururugi shrine; worn, but still in good shape, dressed in a striped kimono, sipping on sake that C.C. had found somewhere
.
Night had fallen, and he could look up at the window and stare out at the beautiful full moon out there, and somehow, with this scene, he could pretend that things were normal.
But he couldn’t pretend for long. Suzaku sat at his side, wearing something similar to his old outfit of a blue hakama with a white robe underneath. They sat practically across the room from each other, sipping sake in silence, and despite the fact that at the moment neither of them felt like pulling out their weapons, it seemed much tenser than even their most emotional of fights.
One of them would have to say something eventually, and knowing Suzaku’s personality, that someone would have to be Lelouch.
Though, what exactly could he say? “Sorry you thought I killed your sister. But she’s not dead, right? We defeated the Emperor together, so now we should be friends again and rescue Nunnally.” Yeah, right.
No, this should be handled slowly, and carefully, like a whole new plan. A plan of how to talk to Suzaku and try to deal with the issues they clearly weren’t dealing with, and hadn’t dealt with in over a year.
Scratch that, more than a year. Lelouch doubted they ever had been honest to one another.
If they didn’t come to some sort of terms, then this could continue forever. Was he going to wait until he was once again on the wrong side of Suzaku’s sword to try to fix this?
After a moment of silence, trying to figure out something, anything, Lelouch gave up on the idea of a plan. No, something like this couldn’t be planned out. He would have to wing it on this one, and hope it worked out.
After taking another sip of sake for courage, Lelouch asked, “Hey, Suzaku?”
“What?” Suzaku glared at him.
Damnit, what was he so angry about? If he would just man up and talk to him, then they wouldn’t be like this!
“After Euphie has fully recovered…we should go to save Nunnally.”
“I thought we had already figured this out?”
“We did! But this isn’t about that.” He took another sip. “When we rescue Nunnally, we’ll both have to be focused on that goal. We need to make sure everything is okay between us.”
“Everything is okay. We’re not fighting any more, are we?”
Lelouch couldn’t stand it any longer. “There’s a difference between ‘not fighting’ and ‘getting along’! It was fine back in the World of C when we had to face the emperor, but now with Euphie, we need to make sure that we both understand—!”
Lelouch’s rant was interrupted when C.C., eyebrows raised, came into the room. After her eyes glanced from the exasperated Lelouch to the stoic Suzaku, she asked, “Am I interrupting something?”
“Depends,” Suzaku muttered, concentrating a little too hard at the cup in his hand. “How is Euphie?”
“She’s awake now, and she’s been asking for you.”
Suzaku got up at once. “I’ll go to her, then.”
That was the last straw for Lelouch. He jumped to his feet, voice strained. “Suzaku!”
The Knight of Seven, didn’t even look at him. “Euphie’s asking for me. Even you said she comes first. Excuse me.” He brushed up against C.C. on the way out, not even bothering to look at her.
Only seconds after Suzaku left the room, Lelouch lost it.
“How could he just sit there and ignore it! Doesn’t he realize that things can’t go on like this? How can he just act like we’re still on opposite sides after everything that happened? After Euphie! I thought he hated me because I killed her! Why’s he like that when it’s obvious I didn’t—!”
“Lelouch,” C.C. sighed, coming closer to him. “You have to understand how he feels.”
“How he feels? He doesn’t look like he feels anything! All he’s doing is sitting there and ignoring me when I’m just trying to get him to talk—!”
“Lelouch,” she repeated, softer this time. “You and Suzaku have been through a lot together, you know this. You were friends, then you were bitter enemies, and now suddenly, forced to be friends again. You forgave Suzaku easier than he forgave you, so maybe you have a better time handling it—!”
“I didn’t forgive him,” Lelouch muttered bitterly. “He still betrayed me to the emperor. I haven’t forgotten.” His hand touched the spot on his shoulder where Suzaku had shot—and stabbed—him. That physical mark of his betrayal.
“Yes, but he betrayed you because he thought you killed Euphie. And though you were angry, you understood his hatred. After all, you thought you had killed her, too.”
He sighed, “I did…”
“So,” C.C.’s hand gently fell over his own. “You understood why he wanted revenge. And even all those months when you were enemies, you never could truly hate him. But Suzaku tried so badly to hate you, even when you had lost your memory and were the same friend he had for so long. I don’t think he could ever fully hate you, but he spent so much time trying because of what had happened to Euphie. And now to discover that she is actually alive, and you had saved her and brought her back to him…it’s hard to accept.”
“He should just accept that he was wrong and move on,” Lelouch spat. “But an apology would be nice, too.”
C.C. chastised, “Come on, Lelouch, you don’t really think that.”
His crimson eyes met her. “Maybe not…but…we should still talk about it.”
“That’s true,” she nodded, leaning against him. “But give him time. Euphie just woke up, after all.”
Lelouch didn’t want to make a remark about that. Especially since he now knew about Suzaku and Euphie’s special relationship.
“Do you know how you’re going to save your sister?” C.C. asked, changing the subject.
“I have an idea.” Lelouch turned to her. “But I’ll need your help, Witch.”
C.C. smirked, “Of course. I am your accomplice.”
“From beginning to end, Witch.”
“You really don’t remember what happened, Euphie?”
She shook her head, leaning closely into the comfort of Suzaku’s arms. “I remember getting up for the day and preparing to go to the ceremony and then…nothing. Miss C.C. didn’t explain how I got this way.”
“It was a terrorist attack,” Suzaku said on cue. “The Black Knights attacked, and you wound up in a coma for a whole year. I’m sorry, Euphie, I should have protected you from—”
“The Black Knights did it?” Euphie stared at him in shock. “But that’s impossible…Lelouch would never—!”
A week ago, Suzaku would have told her that it wasn’t impossible, that Lelouch was capable of committing those evil deeds, but now… “I don’t know, Euphie, that’s just what happened.”
She seemed to accept that answer, dropping the subject and instead glancing around the room with curious eyes. “So, this is your old house, Suzaku?”
“That’s right. The Kururugi shrine. Though it was abandoned after the war.”
“So…why was I brought here?”
How was he to explain that to her? “It’s…complicated, Euphie. Just…a lot of things have happened. I’m not sure I can explain fully how they happened, but…Right now, Lelouch and I had to bring you here, to keep you safe. Until we have a new plan, I can’t explain more than that.”
“Oh…”
Euphie didn’t say anothing more, but merely snuggled up in his arms. Even as Suzaku held her, he could hardly believe this was happening. After he thought he had lost her forever, he had been given a second chance. Somehow, fate had decided to return her to him, and everything that had plagued his life for a year could now be swept away. Once Nunnally was safe, everything could start over, he was sure of it. His life would have a new beginning.
Of course…he couldn’t forget that the one who had brought him this new beginning was Lelouch. If he, as Zero, hadn’t sent C.C. to spy in Britannia, she would have never have found Euphie. And if Lelouch, as Zero, hadn’t taken Euphie and looked after her all this time, then he would have never—
Though it was also Lelouch, as Zero, who had destroyed everything in the first place. As Zero, he had geassed Euphie to kill all the Japanese—he still hadn’t explained why he had done that—and then, Zero had shot her to take care of the problem! If some miracle of medicine hadn’t saved Euphie, then she’d still be dead by Zero’s hands!
At first, Suzaku thought it was easy to believe that Lelouch, as Zero, could geass Euphie to commit such a heartless act. The Massacre Princess was an ploy that easily created gains for the Black Knights—and since Zero had slain her, all the more loyal the Japanese were to their fearless leader.
He decided early on that Lelouch could—and would—have done it. With all the benefits on his side, there was no other way it could have gone down other than the way it appeared.
But…
It was Lelouch who had brought Euphie back from Britannia. It was Lelouch who had hidden her from the Black Knights; who had watched over her night and day; this time, Lelouch had saved her.
The idea that Lelouch could be so heartless to order his sister to do something despicable and then kill her did not add up with the thought of the Lelouch who cared for and protected his comatose half-sister.
That left only two possibilities; either Lelouch was the world’s best actor, or Suzaku’s previous assumptions had been wrong.
And that was just perfect.
“Suzaku?” Euphie’s voice broke through his rather agitated thoughts.
“Yes, Euphie?”
“You and Lelouch aren’t fighting anymore, are you? You’ve both made up?”
“We’ve…” How was he to answer her? Yes, they sort of made up in the World of C, but they didn’t really have much of a choice in the matter…as for a formal “I’m sorry” coming from both parties…well, it might take a while for that to come up in conversation. “Sort of.”
Her hands tightened on the cotton of her kimono. “I don’t like it, when you and Lelouch are fighting. That was why I had that idea…for you to become a Knight of Rounds and for Zero to become my knight, so you both could be on the same side…I guess that never came to pass, did it?”
Suzaku shook his head. “I became a Knight of Rounds, but Zero…he never acknowledged being named your knight.” Well, unless you counted the fact that he had protected her all that time…
“Then please, Suzaku, make up with him. Lelouch wants to be your friend. Why not forgive him so you can both move on?”
“Forgive him?”
Though forgiving him for something he didn’t technically do would be admitting that he had been wrong…that all this time had sided with Britannia just because it wasn’t on Zero’s side was all made on a false assumption.
That time he had turned Lelouch into the emperor, he thought it was the right thing to do. Lelouch had killed Euphie…so Suzaku would stand aside as they killed Lelouch. A life for a life. He would have let them kill Lelouch too, despite that fact that Euphie still lived, before his very eyes…
I was going to let them kill my best friend. Suzaku shut his eyes tight, trying to drown out the thought. I wanted it, I wanted him to die for this, even when he was innocent! I would have let him be executed for it and then if the truth had come out later, what would I have—!
“How do I forgive him?” Suzaku asked her, eyes hard. “Actually, how do I forgive myself?”
“Suzaku?”
He sighed, knowing what he had to do. Even if he didn’t want to do it.
Blaming someone was easy. But apologizing for a wrong assumption was hard.
“I’m sorry, Euphie,” Suzaku chuckled, in an attempt to shake the burden off, for a moment. “I’m just having trouble with the thought. It’s the proud Japanese in me, I guess.”
“Japanese?”
Japanese…
Suddenly, it was as if sharp claws had grabbed her.
The Japanese…
She let out a panicked gasp as red flooded her eyes.
The blood…of the Japanese…
Screams…a thunder of shots…bullets hailing down on a crowd…And then that feeling…that terrible squeezing in her chest that threatened to destroy her…
“Euphie?”
Another gasp, and it faded and vanished into the cool night.
“Su…zaku?”
He was leaning over her, concern in his emerald eyes. “Euphie, you…you just started shaking, are you okay?”
What had happened? She wasn’t sure herself…Something about gunfire? And the Japanese? Oh, that’s right, there had been a terrorist attack that day, right? It must have been memories of that…
She shook her head. “It’s nothing, Suzaku.”
“Are you going to be okay?”
Nodding, she answered, “Yes…but I’m feeling tired.”
“Should I hold you until you go to sleep?”
She snuggled closer. “I’d like that.”
Memories like those scare me…I hope I never feel those again.
It was afternoon on the second day before Suzaku finally got up the courage to speak to Lelouch. Lelouch was relaxing in the empty room he had unofficially claimed as his own, working on his plan on how to rescue Nunnally, when Suzaku came in, trying not to look as out of sorts as he felt.
“Suzaku?” asked Lelouch, standing up and fiddling with a gun he had been cleaning in his hands. “What is it? Want to know how the plan’s going?”
Say something, anything you fool! “Sure.”
“Well, I have a bit worked out. We should probably sneak into Britannia on a cargo freight—using our geasses, we should have no problem getting in.”
“You want me to leave the Lancelot behind?”
“I’m sure your inhuman knightmare skills can be useful, but unless you want all of Britannia’s knightmare squad after you, I don’t think it would be in our best interest, do you?”
“Hmph. Fine. Now how do we get into the Pendragon castle?”
“With our geass, there should be a way in. But it’s been quite a few years since I’ve been there. You’re on a better position to comment on that than I, Mister Knight of Seven.”
“Former Knight of Seven. When they don’t find my body or the Lancelot, they’ll get the clue that I’ve deserted. Why not just use your Black Knights?”
“You know that Kallen saw me with you on Kamenejima. Zero will have already been branded a traitor. It’s both of us against the world now, Suzaku, like it or not.”
That particular comment made Suzaku clench his jaw. Both of us against the world, huh? Like we had played at long ago…
“Lelouch,” Suzaku asked, still not looking back at him. “When did you and C.C. find Euphie?”
“Hmm…not that long ago. Only about a few weeks.”
Well, this was it, he couldn’t put it off any longer… “Thanks,” he muttered in an almost inaudible voice.
“What?”
“I said thanks!” Suzaku wanted to choose his words carefully, but instead they all came out in a rushed bunch of Japanese. “I mean…when you found her there, you took her back and took care of her and got her out of his hands. So I’m saying thanks, okay!”
Lelouch raised his eyebrows. Suzaku, thanking him for it? It must have taken a lot of thought and reflection for him to do that. He replied back in Suzaku’s native language, “It was nothing; Euphemia’s my sister, and according to her last appointment, I was her knight—”
“That part of her resolution was never ratified,” Suzaku corrected him at once. “Why on earth would Britannia want to appoint her killer as her knight? Suzaku backstepped at once, “No, not killer, ah, damnit, I meant…who they thought killed her.”
“I as good as killed her,” Lelouch leaned against the paneless window of the room, looking out at the beautiful grounds of the Kururugi estate. “When I shot her…that’s what I meant to do. It never occurred to me that she might be alive.”
Suzaku came to step beside him. “I did see you shoot her,” he agreed. “But that wouldn’t have been necessary had the geass not been placed on her. Lelouch, tell me once and for all, did you geass her that day?”
“My lips did give the order.”
“But why? Why would you do something like that to your own sister! Someone that’s its obvious you care about even if it did work out for your side that day!”
Lelouch turned back to him, crimson geass eyes unreadable, but his mouth turned up in a small, sad smile. “Who knows?”
Suzaku wanted to press him further, to demand Lelouch tell him the full truth of that day and tell him all the details he was sure he was leaving out…But something occurred to Suzaku that hadn’t quite occurred to him before.
Perhaps he wasn’t the only one affected deeply but Euphie’s (apparent) death.
“Lelouch…”
“What?” Now it was Lelouch’s time to be tense and uncooperative.
“You still shot Euphie that day. And almost killed her.”
“And what of it?”
“Do you…really think that was the right thing to do?”
What was he supposed to say? “Suzaku, if you were in my position and you had been forced to geass your sister to go around and kill hundreds of people, and there was no way of undoing it, what would you have done? Just let her destroy herself doing something terrible that you had commanded?”
Instead, he replied, “Zero doesn’t go by what is right and what is wrong. Zero does what is most advantageous to him.”
Suzaku snorted. “Right. Because Zero has no conscience.”
“Zero can’t afford to have one; A leader of a rebellion can’t have anything that might make him seem weak.”
“Of course, Zero can’t seem weak, but what about Lelouch?”
Lelouch gave him a look, “Are you calling me a wimp, Kururugi?”
It was just something said in their playful banter, but something happened then, something that hadn’t happened in a long, long time.
Suzaku laughed.
He truly threw back his head and laughed. And it wasn’t the laugh of a man being driven nearly insane that Lelouch had seen back in the world of C, no, it was a genuine, happy laugh.
Of course, it took Lelouch by surprise. “Hey, what’s the matter with you, Kururugi?”
“Sorry, Lelouch,” Suzaku continued to snigger. “But you really do need to get into shape.”
Lelouch fake-punched him in the shoulder. “Says the superhuman.”
“I’m not superhuman.”
“You heard C.C. back there—you’re practically a titan, Kururugi. Don’t compare us mere mortals to you.”
“Knock it off, Lelouch, or I’ll show you how weak you are.”
Lelouch couldn’t help but break into a smile. At last, they had been given a second chance, and he wouldn’t waste it for all the world.
As the two boys continued to laugh, looking out at the beautiful grounds of the Kururugi estate, someone watched them from afar.
Someone’s eyes caught in a harsh glare as they watched the two boys continue on, smiling, laughing together, and then, as Suzaku’s hand came down on Lelouch’s shoulder, leading him away, that someone couldn’t stand it any longer.
You won’t take Nii-san from me! Purple eyes narrowed in hatred as a small knife was drawn.
“You really think we’ll be able to find it, Suzaku? That spot where we all became friends so long ago?”
“This place hasn’t changed much since then, shouldn’t be too hard.”
“Still, it might have gotten ruined in the war or overtime with vandals…eight years is a long time for a piece of land.”
“With your deductive skills and my memory of this place, we’re sure to find it.” Suzaku grinned.
“Well, by all means, lead the way, you’re the more athletic of us, after all,” Lelouch gave him a little pat to get him started, but had noticed that Suzaku had stopped suddenly, looking up the hill before them. It only took a second for Lelouch to realize what—or who—he was looking at.
“Rolo!”
Rolo stood there, sunset at his back, his clothes slightly tattered and hair out of place, but nonetheless, he was very much the same boy he knew. “Nii-san,” was the only reply.
“Rolo, what are you doing here? I thought you were still with the Black Knights!”
“After Nii-san left, they didn’t want me there,” Rolo replied, voice eerily calm. “They said I was only there as ‘Zero’s pet’. They tried to get rid of me their own way, but I managed to escape.”
There was something very wrong about all this…
“I’m glad of that, Rolo,” For once, he truthfully was—knowing the boy actually was his brother did wonders for how he viewed him. “But how did you know I was…”
“I know my Nii-san,” Rolo replied, eyes narrowing. “That girl said she saw you with Kururugi. And I know Kururugi had his old home here. I figured I’d check.”
“Lelouch,” Suzaku tried to say something, but Lelouch wouldn’t let him.
“It’s good that you found us, Now come on down, and we can get you cleaned up. There’s…there’s a lot we need to talk about, Rolo.” Like how you’re actually my brother.
Rolo was silent for a moment—purple eyes reduced to near-slits as he glared from his brother to the one beside him. “No…that’s not how this is going to work.”
“…Rolo?”
“You left me. You left me there on that island with no one to look after me. And then you came here.”
“Yes, Rolo, I had to come here because…I can’t explain everything right now, Rolo! Just come down here and let me tell you everything; there’s some things you need to know!”
“You left me and came here, with him!”
Only now did it dawn on Lelouch what exactly was happening. “Wh—what a minute! Rolo, listen to me, I had to come to Suzaku’s because we were protecting someone else!”
“Someone else? Everyone else has your attention! You care about everyone else before me, Nii-san! And worst of all is him!”
“Will you just—!”
“You were his before I even met you! All this time you’ve wanted to come back to him again, even if he hated you! Even if I told you he would rather kill you than be your friend again, you still longed for him! And now he’s finally got you in his grasp, Nii-san! Well, I won’t have it!” Rolo drew a long knife from inside his coat. “I won’t let anyone else take you away from me, Nii-san! Especially not him!”
Lelouch realized what was going to happen only seconds before it did—Rolo darted down the hill, and Suzaku only got a step back to defend himself before Rolo’s geass flashed.
The geass range was short—not even meeting Lelouch’s body, only feet away from Suzaku. Lelouch knew instantly why Rolo had done it—he wanted Lelouch to see, to see and not be able to do a thing about it.
Though only seconds passed, for Lelouch, it seemed like an eternity. He knew this was his fault. If he had only treated Rolo like his brother and not used him for his own gain—if he had only realized sooner what it was C.C. had wanted to tell him, if he hadn’t screamed and tossed Rolo aside after he had thought he lost Nunnally too…
Perhaps if he had once gotten a chance to turn to Rolo; had told him “You are my true brother,” and had treated him as such, this wouldn’t have happened.
But here he was, about to lose his best—and now only—friend because he had decided to treat this boy like a dirty rag instead of like what he was—a human being.
There was that gun in his hand. That one he had been cleaning—that one he suggested he take outside in case there was trouble. He knew what he had to do, but he didn’t want to—oh god, he didn’t want to.
It was just like when he had to choose to shoot Euphie. There was only one clear option, even if it resulted in something he desperately didn’t want to do.
He would hate himself for it, he knew he would, but he had no other choice—!
A gunshot rang out on the grounds of the Kururugi estate, scattering the birds in the nearby forest.
Dying eyes flickered open, as they looked up to see someone crying over them…someone they never expected to hold them like this.
“Rolo…”
“Nii-san…” Rolo murmured, comforted and at the same time disgusted—his Nii-san wasn’t his real brother, he had said so himself! He had chosen the traitor, Kururugi over him! “Why did you…?”
“I’m sorry…I’m sorry…” Lelouch’s geass eyes were filled with tears, and if they ever had a chance to show some sort of emotion, it would have been now. “I just…I couldn’t let you…”
“But…Nii-san…you left me…you went to him.”
“I know, I’m sorry…I’m sorry…” he repeated, knowing full well there was nothing he could ever say that would make up for this. “Rolo, I couldn’t…I couldn’t let you kill him. Not him, not anyone else.”
“But Nii-san left me! I just…”
“I’m sorry, Rolo.” Lelouch hugged the boy towards him, trying not to look at the pool of blood that continued to grow on the front of his jacket. “I should have…I should have treated you better. Like a human being, not like something as a part of a plan. I should have…I should have at least tried to treat you like family, but I never did…and now it ended up like this.”
“But I’m not your family! You said so yourself! You’re the one who—”
“I know, but Rolo, listen to me! You really are…I mean…Rolo, we have the same parents. You really are my true little brother…I should have known. You were always looking out for me, weren’t you? Like family? I should have looked out for you.”
Something filled the boy’s eyes, in addition to the tears. “Really, Nii-san?”
“Really.” A few tears fell down onto Rolo’s chest. “You’ve always been my little brother, even if I didn’t notice.”
The boy gave a few gasps. “Nii-san…to me, you’ve always…been…my…” And then, there was no more.
Lelouch tried to hold it in, but he couldn’t—his brother—his real brother, was dead. And it was because of him. Hugging the boy’s form to his chest, he truly cried—knowing fully that it was his fault his brother lay in his arms, dead.
Suzaku watched Lelouch like that, for a long time. Considering that he was the one Rolo tried to kill, he couldn’t be quite as forgiving. But there was something even he could see clearly.
Rolo had loved his brother. Albeit it was a twisted love, but it was love all the same. It was an insane love that drove Rolo to try to take Lelouch all for himself. And it was love—well, a sort of love—that made Lelouch know he had to kill Rolo in the end.
Perhaps…he understood fully why Lelouch had to pull the trigger on Euphie that day.
After a while, Suzaku came and knelt down by Lelouch, “Lelouch?” he asked. His best friend turned to him, tears still in his eyes.
“I killed my little brother,” he spoke in a shaken voice, unable to say anything else.
“You had to do it.”
Lelouch went silent once more, and after several minutes of thought, he said, “We’ll bury Rolo here.”
“That’s fine.”
“And after that…we are going to Britannia. We are going to rescue Nunnally. And then I will claim the throne as Emperor.”
“What?”
“That is what I am going to do.” Lelouch stated in a hard voice, clutching his brother to his chest once more. “I am going to change this world. Change it so that I will never see anyone else I care about die right in front of my eyes.”
chapter 16 here.
Well, only two more chapters after this! I hope I can at least get it done before November and NaNoWriMo starts, at least.
Rating:PG-13.
Pairing: LelouchxC.C., SuzakuxEuphie, (implied) Suzalulu.
Summary: So, what would have happened if Suzaku had received the Geass in Stage 1 instead of Lelouch? We'd have one messed up story on our hands.
Chapter 1 here
.
I really, REALLY hate writing papers. So why am I double majoring in English and History? I must be a masochist like Suzaku. T_T
“I don’t understand. How could this be—”
“It just happened that way.”
“But…it’s impossible! They—they told me she was dead! How could she still—!”
“It’s simple; they lied. Surely you can figure that out.”
Suzaku couldn’t even muster the annoyance to give him a glare. He was still far too stunned. How was it that this could have happened? How could she—Euphie—still be alive?
She should have died that day. That was what everyone thought. But she had indeed survived—in a coma, but survived—hidden away by the Emperor himself.
And now here she was, before his eyes—alive, and awake.
Well, not quite awake. At the moment, Princess Euphemia Li Britannia lay sleeping on a futon inside the old Kururugi mansion. But she had awoken from that coma, and as long as nothing else happened (they hoped) it would stay that way.
“How did you find her?” When only a few, harsh seconds of silence passed, he growled, “Tell me!”
“I already told you all I know,” Suzaku’s former best friend shot back. “C.C. happened upon her locked away in a room in the Britannian palace. It seems that Cornelia knew about it too—she was the one that led C.C. to it. And Euphie was there—asleep, but still alive. We managed to sneak out her out and I’ve been taking care of her ever since.”
“And how did she get like this?”
“Dunno—C.C. said something about a power outage. Must have scrambled the machines and sent an electrical signal to her brain or something—I heard once that it can wake those in a coma up in a few cases.”
Suzaku ran a few fingers in his hair, trying to make sense of it all. “Still…why did the Emperor have her in the first place? Why not just tell everyone—”
“Oh come off it, Suzaku, surely you’re not that much of an idiot. The Emperor kept her around as a hostage to use against you…or me, perhaps. Maybe not. For me, he had Nunnally.”
“For both of us,” Suzaku reminded, green eyes as serious as ever. “And they still have her.”
“Right,” Lelouch didn’t like it that that particular fact just had to be spoken outloud.
Of course they had Nunnally. And of course they would use Nunnally in any way they saw fit until they had a chance to get her out of there.
How long that would take, however, was another matter…
“So…what do we do?” Suzaku leaned against the walls of the small room—a room that he hadn’t been in in nearly 8 years.
For once, even Lelouch wasn’t so sure. He was the master planner, with everything worked out down to the very last detail. But now…with Nunnally and Euphie and Suzaku and everything else that had happened in the past 48 hours…frankly, he just wanted to take a break from being the strategist, or a fearless leader.
“We wait,” Lelouch sighed. “Just…Euphie. We have to wait for Euphie to get better, right?”
“Yeah…”
The door to the small room slid open, and in came C.C., looking as she usually did—neutral and unreadable. “Well, it doesn’t look like anyone followed us—we would have been ambushed by now, if they did.”
“It’s a good thing we escaped through the woods and kept low to the water on the way back, then.” Suzaku replied. “By now I’m sure to be labeled an official deserter—possibly a traitor if anyone else saw me with Zero. If they had seen the Lancelot they would have come after me by now.” And knowing Gino and how he would take the news, he would have been the first one running.
Lelouch added dryly, “It would have been a lot easier if we had the Shinkirou to just travel underwater instead.” Suzaku shot him a glare.
“Anyway,” C.C. thought she would cut in incase this got ugly. “We should be safe here for a few days.”
“Good, that’s long enough to wait for it to die down. And hopefully long enough for Euphie to rest until she can travel.”
Suzaku couldn’t let that get by. “Wait, we’re bringing Euphie?”
Lelouch cast him a sideways glance—his crimsion geass eyes unable to be read. “You suggest we leave her here?”
“What? No! But—!”
“We can’t stay here for very long; someone will remember that the Kururugis kept a shrine in Japan. And if we ever want to rescue Nunnally, we have to leave sometime.”
“Well, yes, but do we have to take Euphie? She shouldn’t be—!”
“We don’t have any other options,” Lelouch ended it. “Unless there’s someone on the outside that you trust with this.”
Suzaku didn’t have to think very long. “No…there’s no one.”
“It’s settled then.”
C.C. couldn’t help but smirk at the exchange—Suzaku looked downright abashed that Lelouch had schooled him so easily. Well, Suzaku was never the debater that Lelouch was…Though it must be killing Suzaku inside to admit to himself that Lelouch was right.
Still, there was one thing that had to be addressed, “Though, I’m surprised that Euphie is…well…last time I saw her, she was…”
He didn’t need to say it. They remembered all too well of the horrors of the Special Administrative Zone on that day.
“I think I know why,” C.C. answered. “When she woke up, she was confused; she barely registered what was going on, and she sleeps more than she is awake. This is normal for someone just waking up from a coma, it should go away in a few days. But I did ask her about what she remembered from last time she was awake, and she said she could barely remember.” The witch glanced back at the princess sleeping so soundly on the floor. “She remembers getting ready to go to that place that morning, but nothing else.”
“And that means?” Lelouch asked.
“Geass works through memory. While someone under the influence suffers amnesia due to its effects, the memory of it being cast is still there. However, if someone suffers amnesia from some other source and physically cannot recall the moment the geass was cast on them, then its effects are negated. Think of how you were before I awoke you from your condition several months ago.”
Lelouch remembered. “So this means…as long as she never remembers that day, she won’t—”
“Yes. So that means that you two had better stop fighting about it and learn to get along,” C.C. smirked, relishing at the uncomfortable looks that popped up on both of the boys’ faces.
Turning to look at the princess sleeping on the floor, C.C. asked, “Can’t we get her some better clothes? She really shouldn’t have to stay in that hospital gown for any longer.”
“The shrine has the old kimono closet,” Suzaku remembered. “It was full of protection from moths and bugs, so the stash should be fine.”
“Well, get her something warm, she might be cold, since this place doesn’t have heating anymore.”
“Ah—right!” Suzaku marched out at once.
Lelouch meant to stay in the room and watch over Euphie, but C.C. gave him a look that clearly said, Go after him.
He didn’t particularly want to; being around Suzaku these days was pretty awkward. But C.C. just kept staring and staring and looking at him with that look so he finally couldn’t stand it—“All right, all right, I’m going!”
C.C. merely grinned to herself as he turned and went into the hallway, trying to remember where the kimono closet was.
Hmm, where was it? Left and to the right?
Eventually he found it, and saw Suzaku just inside, with opened kimono storage boxes clumped around his feet. Hearing Lelouch come into the dark and stuffy room, Suzaku turned, but when he saw it was only him (his former enemy), he turned back to his work.
Lelouch didn’t know how to quite begin the conversation. “Need any help?”
Suzaku let out a breath that sounded very much like a skeptical huff. “I’m looking for some fall kimono in here—they’ll be warmer. All I can find are summer robes…” He deposited a heavy and expensive looking pile of kimono in Lelouch’s arms.
“Uh…yeah…” Lelouch hoped Suzaku didn’t notice how he struggled—damnit, why did kimono have to be so heavy! “Listen, um…” Great, how was he going to start this? It wasn’t like he wanted to bring it up either! “C.C. thinks…she thinks that we should—”
“Oh, found one!” Suzaku was ever so good at ignoring him. “You can put those down; I found a pile that we can actually wear—”
Shouldn’t he push the subject? “Right…so, anyway…” He took a breath; this was it. “C.C. thinks we should talk.”
“Maybe some other time. Euphie comes first.” And with that Suzaku, former Knight of Seven, turned on his heel and left him there.
Lelouch wanted to protest; it wasn’t fair of Suzaku to just try and ignore it when even he knew they had to talk! But Suzaku was right about one thing; Euphie came first.
“I found the kimono, and I found some more for the rest of us,” Suzaku said, setting the pile down. “They’re not too fancy, but they’re wearable.”
C.C. looked on approvingly, her eyes lighting up as she spotted a red kimono embroidered with black butterflies. “I like this one,” she said, pulling it aside. “Since she’s unconscious, she has second pick,” C.C. grinned, pulling the other teal kimono out from the pile.
Tossing the other two mens’ kimono at Lelouch, C.C. then raised her eyebrows. “Well, I have to change her into it, or would you two rather stick around?”
Lelouch lit up bright red. “Of course not—! Come on Suzaku—”
Suzaku, however, wasn’t so flustered. “I’m not so sure about leaving her.”
“Of course you should leave her! Just for a minute! C.C.’s going to undress her and you can’t see her like—!”
And then it dawned on him.
Oh.
Well…
Euphie had mentioned something of the sort…
Yes. But…
No. No. He wasn’t going to get into this. It wasn’t his business who Euphie went around—
Even if it was Suzaku.
It wasn’t his business. Even if she was his sister! it wasn’t his business. She was 16—no, 17 now—and he had no right to pry into her affairs, even if she was…well…involved with his best friend.
Ex-best friend. More like enemy.
Scratch that. Ex-enemy.
And Ex-friend.
Ah, whatever! It wasn’t his business!
Still…
“Come on,” Lelouch grabbed Suzaku and pulled him away.
It wasn’t his business. It didn’t mean he had to see it though.
Hours later, Lelouch sat on the old tatami mats of the Kururugi shrine; worn, but still in good shape, dressed in a striped kimono, sipping on sake that C.C. had found somewhere
.
Night had fallen, and he could look up at the window and stare out at the beautiful full moon out there, and somehow, with this scene, he could pretend that things were normal.
But he couldn’t pretend for long. Suzaku sat at his side, wearing something similar to his old outfit of a blue hakama with a white robe underneath. They sat practically across the room from each other, sipping sake in silence, and despite the fact that at the moment neither of them felt like pulling out their weapons, it seemed much tenser than even their most emotional of fights.
One of them would have to say something eventually, and knowing Suzaku’s personality, that someone would have to be Lelouch.
Though, what exactly could he say? “Sorry you thought I killed your sister. But she’s not dead, right? We defeated the Emperor together, so now we should be friends again and rescue Nunnally.” Yeah, right.
No, this should be handled slowly, and carefully, like a whole new plan. A plan of how to talk to Suzaku and try to deal with the issues they clearly weren’t dealing with, and hadn’t dealt with in over a year.
Scratch that, more than a year. Lelouch doubted they ever had been honest to one another.
If they didn’t come to some sort of terms, then this could continue forever. Was he going to wait until he was once again on the wrong side of Suzaku’s sword to try to fix this?
After a moment of silence, trying to figure out something, anything, Lelouch gave up on the idea of a plan. No, something like this couldn’t be planned out. He would have to wing it on this one, and hope it worked out.
After taking another sip of sake for courage, Lelouch asked, “Hey, Suzaku?”
“What?” Suzaku glared at him.
Damnit, what was he so angry about? If he would just man up and talk to him, then they wouldn’t be like this!
“After Euphie has fully recovered…we should go to save Nunnally.”
“I thought we had already figured this out?”
“We did! But this isn’t about that.” He took another sip. “When we rescue Nunnally, we’ll both have to be focused on that goal. We need to make sure everything is okay between us.”
“Everything is okay. We’re not fighting any more, are we?”
Lelouch couldn’t stand it any longer. “There’s a difference between ‘not fighting’ and ‘getting along’! It was fine back in the World of C when we had to face the emperor, but now with Euphie, we need to make sure that we both understand—!”
Lelouch’s rant was interrupted when C.C., eyebrows raised, came into the room. After her eyes glanced from the exasperated Lelouch to the stoic Suzaku, she asked, “Am I interrupting something?”
“Depends,” Suzaku muttered, concentrating a little too hard at the cup in his hand. “How is Euphie?”
“She’s awake now, and she’s been asking for you.”
Suzaku got up at once. “I’ll go to her, then.”
That was the last straw for Lelouch. He jumped to his feet, voice strained. “Suzaku!”
The Knight of Seven, didn’t even look at him. “Euphie’s asking for me. Even you said she comes first. Excuse me.” He brushed up against C.C. on the way out, not even bothering to look at her.
Only seconds after Suzaku left the room, Lelouch lost it.
“How could he just sit there and ignore it! Doesn’t he realize that things can’t go on like this? How can he just act like we’re still on opposite sides after everything that happened? After Euphie! I thought he hated me because I killed her! Why’s he like that when it’s obvious I didn’t—!”
“Lelouch,” C.C. sighed, coming closer to him. “You have to understand how he feels.”
“How he feels? He doesn’t look like he feels anything! All he’s doing is sitting there and ignoring me when I’m just trying to get him to talk—!”
“Lelouch,” she repeated, softer this time. “You and Suzaku have been through a lot together, you know this. You were friends, then you were bitter enemies, and now suddenly, forced to be friends again. You forgave Suzaku easier than he forgave you, so maybe you have a better time handling it—!”
“I didn’t forgive him,” Lelouch muttered bitterly. “He still betrayed me to the emperor. I haven’t forgotten.” His hand touched the spot on his shoulder where Suzaku had shot—and stabbed—him. That physical mark of his betrayal.
“Yes, but he betrayed you because he thought you killed Euphie. And though you were angry, you understood his hatred. After all, you thought you had killed her, too.”
He sighed, “I did…”
“So,” C.C.’s hand gently fell over his own. “You understood why he wanted revenge. And even all those months when you were enemies, you never could truly hate him. But Suzaku tried so badly to hate you, even when you had lost your memory and were the same friend he had for so long. I don’t think he could ever fully hate you, but he spent so much time trying because of what had happened to Euphie. And now to discover that she is actually alive, and you had saved her and brought her back to him…it’s hard to accept.”
“He should just accept that he was wrong and move on,” Lelouch spat. “But an apology would be nice, too.”
C.C. chastised, “Come on, Lelouch, you don’t really think that.”
His crimson eyes met her. “Maybe not…but…we should still talk about it.”
“That’s true,” she nodded, leaning against him. “But give him time. Euphie just woke up, after all.”
Lelouch didn’t want to make a remark about that. Especially since he now knew about Suzaku and Euphie’s special relationship.
“Do you know how you’re going to save your sister?” C.C. asked, changing the subject.
“I have an idea.” Lelouch turned to her. “But I’ll need your help, Witch.”
C.C. smirked, “Of course. I am your accomplice.”
“From beginning to end, Witch.”
“You really don’t remember what happened, Euphie?”
She shook her head, leaning closely into the comfort of Suzaku’s arms. “I remember getting up for the day and preparing to go to the ceremony and then…nothing. Miss C.C. didn’t explain how I got this way.”
“It was a terrorist attack,” Suzaku said on cue. “The Black Knights attacked, and you wound up in a coma for a whole year. I’m sorry, Euphie, I should have protected you from—”
“The Black Knights did it?” Euphie stared at him in shock. “But that’s impossible…Lelouch would never—!”
A week ago, Suzaku would have told her that it wasn’t impossible, that Lelouch was capable of committing those evil deeds, but now… “I don’t know, Euphie, that’s just what happened.”
She seemed to accept that answer, dropping the subject and instead glancing around the room with curious eyes. “So, this is your old house, Suzaku?”
“That’s right. The Kururugi shrine. Though it was abandoned after the war.”
“So…why was I brought here?”
How was he to explain that to her? “It’s…complicated, Euphie. Just…a lot of things have happened. I’m not sure I can explain fully how they happened, but…Right now, Lelouch and I had to bring you here, to keep you safe. Until we have a new plan, I can’t explain more than that.”
“Oh…”
Euphie didn’t say anothing more, but merely snuggled up in his arms. Even as Suzaku held her, he could hardly believe this was happening. After he thought he had lost her forever, he had been given a second chance. Somehow, fate had decided to return her to him, and everything that had plagued his life for a year could now be swept away. Once Nunnally was safe, everything could start over, he was sure of it. His life would have a new beginning.
Of course…he couldn’t forget that the one who had brought him this new beginning was Lelouch. If he, as Zero, hadn’t sent C.C. to spy in Britannia, she would have never have found Euphie. And if Lelouch, as Zero, hadn’t taken Euphie and looked after her all this time, then he would have never—
Though it was also Lelouch, as Zero, who had destroyed everything in the first place. As Zero, he had geassed Euphie to kill all the Japanese—he still hadn’t explained why he had done that—and then, Zero had shot her to take care of the problem! If some miracle of medicine hadn’t saved Euphie, then she’d still be dead by Zero’s hands!
At first, Suzaku thought it was easy to believe that Lelouch, as Zero, could geass Euphie to commit such a heartless act. The Massacre Princess was an ploy that easily created gains for the Black Knights—and since Zero had slain her, all the more loyal the Japanese were to their fearless leader.
He decided early on that Lelouch could—and would—have done it. With all the benefits on his side, there was no other way it could have gone down other than the way it appeared.
But…
It was Lelouch who had brought Euphie back from Britannia. It was Lelouch who had hidden her from the Black Knights; who had watched over her night and day; this time, Lelouch had saved her.
The idea that Lelouch could be so heartless to order his sister to do something despicable and then kill her did not add up with the thought of the Lelouch who cared for and protected his comatose half-sister.
That left only two possibilities; either Lelouch was the world’s best actor, or Suzaku’s previous assumptions had been wrong.
And that was just perfect.
“Suzaku?” Euphie’s voice broke through his rather agitated thoughts.
“Yes, Euphie?”
“You and Lelouch aren’t fighting anymore, are you? You’ve both made up?”
“We’ve…” How was he to answer her? Yes, they sort of made up in the World of C, but they didn’t really have much of a choice in the matter…as for a formal “I’m sorry” coming from both parties…well, it might take a while for that to come up in conversation. “Sort of.”
Her hands tightened on the cotton of her kimono. “I don’t like it, when you and Lelouch are fighting. That was why I had that idea…for you to become a Knight of Rounds and for Zero to become my knight, so you both could be on the same side…I guess that never came to pass, did it?”
Suzaku shook his head. “I became a Knight of Rounds, but Zero…he never acknowledged being named your knight.” Well, unless you counted the fact that he had protected her all that time…
“Then please, Suzaku, make up with him. Lelouch wants to be your friend. Why not forgive him so you can both move on?”
“Forgive him?”
Though forgiving him for something he didn’t technically do would be admitting that he had been wrong…that all this time had sided with Britannia just because it wasn’t on Zero’s side was all made on a false assumption.
That time he had turned Lelouch into the emperor, he thought it was the right thing to do. Lelouch had killed Euphie…so Suzaku would stand aside as they killed Lelouch. A life for a life. He would have let them kill Lelouch too, despite that fact that Euphie still lived, before his very eyes…
I was going to let them kill my best friend. Suzaku shut his eyes tight, trying to drown out the thought. I wanted it, I wanted him to die for this, even when he was innocent! I would have let him be executed for it and then if the truth had come out later, what would I have—!
“How do I forgive him?” Suzaku asked her, eyes hard. “Actually, how do I forgive myself?”
“Suzaku?”
He sighed, knowing what he had to do. Even if he didn’t want to do it.
Blaming someone was easy. But apologizing for a wrong assumption was hard.
“I’m sorry, Euphie,” Suzaku chuckled, in an attempt to shake the burden off, for a moment. “I’m just having trouble with the thought. It’s the proud Japanese in me, I guess.”
“Japanese?”
Japanese…
Suddenly, it was as if sharp claws had grabbed her.
The Japanese…
She let out a panicked gasp as red flooded her eyes.
The blood…of the Japanese…
Screams…a thunder of shots…bullets hailing down on a crowd…And then that feeling…that terrible squeezing in her chest that threatened to destroy her…
“Euphie?”
Another gasp, and it faded and vanished into the cool night.
“Su…zaku?”
He was leaning over her, concern in his emerald eyes. “Euphie, you…you just started shaking, are you okay?”
What had happened? She wasn’t sure herself…Something about gunfire? And the Japanese? Oh, that’s right, there had been a terrorist attack that day, right? It must have been memories of that…
She shook her head. “It’s nothing, Suzaku.”
“Are you going to be okay?”
Nodding, she answered, “Yes…but I’m feeling tired.”
“Should I hold you until you go to sleep?”
She snuggled closer. “I’d like that.”
Memories like those scare me…I hope I never feel those again.
It was afternoon on the second day before Suzaku finally got up the courage to speak to Lelouch. Lelouch was relaxing in the empty room he had unofficially claimed as his own, working on his plan on how to rescue Nunnally, when Suzaku came in, trying not to look as out of sorts as he felt.
“Suzaku?” asked Lelouch, standing up and fiddling with a gun he had been cleaning in his hands. “What is it? Want to know how the plan’s going?”
Say something, anything you fool! “Sure.”
“Well, I have a bit worked out. We should probably sneak into Britannia on a cargo freight—using our geasses, we should have no problem getting in.”
“You want me to leave the Lancelot behind?”
“I’m sure your inhuman knightmare skills can be useful, but unless you want all of Britannia’s knightmare squad after you, I don’t think it would be in our best interest, do you?”
“Hmph. Fine. Now how do we get into the Pendragon castle?”
“With our geass, there should be a way in. But it’s been quite a few years since I’ve been there. You’re on a better position to comment on that than I, Mister Knight of Seven.”
“Former Knight of Seven. When they don’t find my body or the Lancelot, they’ll get the clue that I’ve deserted. Why not just use your Black Knights?”
“You know that Kallen saw me with you on Kamenejima. Zero will have already been branded a traitor. It’s both of us against the world now, Suzaku, like it or not.”
That particular comment made Suzaku clench his jaw. Both of us against the world, huh? Like we had played at long ago…
“Lelouch,” Suzaku asked, still not looking back at him. “When did you and C.C. find Euphie?”
“Hmm…not that long ago. Only about a few weeks.”
Well, this was it, he couldn’t put it off any longer… “Thanks,” he muttered in an almost inaudible voice.
“What?”
“I said thanks!” Suzaku wanted to choose his words carefully, but instead they all came out in a rushed bunch of Japanese. “I mean…when you found her there, you took her back and took care of her and got her out of his hands. So I’m saying thanks, okay!”
Lelouch raised his eyebrows. Suzaku, thanking him for it? It must have taken a lot of thought and reflection for him to do that. He replied back in Suzaku’s native language, “It was nothing; Euphemia’s my sister, and according to her last appointment, I was her knight—”
“That part of her resolution was never ratified,” Suzaku corrected him at once. “Why on earth would Britannia want to appoint her killer as her knight? Suzaku backstepped at once, “No, not killer, ah, damnit, I meant…who they thought killed her.”
“I as good as killed her,” Lelouch leaned against the paneless window of the room, looking out at the beautiful grounds of the Kururugi estate. “When I shot her…that’s what I meant to do. It never occurred to me that she might be alive.”
Suzaku came to step beside him. “I did see you shoot her,” he agreed. “But that wouldn’t have been necessary had the geass not been placed on her. Lelouch, tell me once and for all, did you geass her that day?”
“My lips did give the order.”
“But why? Why would you do something like that to your own sister! Someone that’s its obvious you care about even if it did work out for your side that day!”
Lelouch turned back to him, crimson geass eyes unreadable, but his mouth turned up in a small, sad smile. “Who knows?”
Suzaku wanted to press him further, to demand Lelouch tell him the full truth of that day and tell him all the details he was sure he was leaving out…But something occurred to Suzaku that hadn’t quite occurred to him before.
Perhaps he wasn’t the only one affected deeply but Euphie’s (apparent) death.
“Lelouch…”
“What?” Now it was Lelouch’s time to be tense and uncooperative.
“You still shot Euphie that day. And almost killed her.”
“And what of it?”
“Do you…really think that was the right thing to do?”
What was he supposed to say? “Suzaku, if you were in my position and you had been forced to geass your sister to go around and kill hundreds of people, and there was no way of undoing it, what would you have done? Just let her destroy herself doing something terrible that you had commanded?”
Instead, he replied, “Zero doesn’t go by what is right and what is wrong. Zero does what is most advantageous to him.”
Suzaku snorted. “Right. Because Zero has no conscience.”
“Zero can’t afford to have one; A leader of a rebellion can’t have anything that might make him seem weak.”
“Of course, Zero can’t seem weak, but what about Lelouch?”
Lelouch gave him a look, “Are you calling me a wimp, Kururugi?”
It was just something said in their playful banter, but something happened then, something that hadn’t happened in a long, long time.
Suzaku laughed.
He truly threw back his head and laughed. And it wasn’t the laugh of a man being driven nearly insane that Lelouch had seen back in the world of C, no, it was a genuine, happy laugh.
Of course, it took Lelouch by surprise. “Hey, what’s the matter with you, Kururugi?”
“Sorry, Lelouch,” Suzaku continued to snigger. “But you really do need to get into shape.”
Lelouch fake-punched him in the shoulder. “Says the superhuman.”
“I’m not superhuman.”
“You heard C.C. back there—you’re practically a titan, Kururugi. Don’t compare us mere mortals to you.”
“Knock it off, Lelouch, or I’ll show you how weak you are.”
Lelouch couldn’t help but break into a smile. At last, they had been given a second chance, and he wouldn’t waste it for all the world.
As the two boys continued to laugh, looking out at the beautiful grounds of the Kururugi estate, someone watched them from afar.
Someone’s eyes caught in a harsh glare as they watched the two boys continue on, smiling, laughing together, and then, as Suzaku’s hand came down on Lelouch’s shoulder, leading him away, that someone couldn’t stand it any longer.
You won’t take Nii-san from me! Purple eyes narrowed in hatred as a small knife was drawn.
“You really think we’ll be able to find it, Suzaku? That spot where we all became friends so long ago?”
“This place hasn’t changed much since then, shouldn’t be too hard.”
“Still, it might have gotten ruined in the war or overtime with vandals…eight years is a long time for a piece of land.”
“With your deductive skills and my memory of this place, we’re sure to find it.” Suzaku grinned.
“Well, by all means, lead the way, you’re the more athletic of us, after all,” Lelouch gave him a little pat to get him started, but had noticed that Suzaku had stopped suddenly, looking up the hill before them. It only took a second for Lelouch to realize what—or who—he was looking at.
“Rolo!”
Rolo stood there, sunset at his back, his clothes slightly tattered and hair out of place, but nonetheless, he was very much the same boy he knew. “Nii-san,” was the only reply.
“Rolo, what are you doing here? I thought you were still with the Black Knights!”
“After Nii-san left, they didn’t want me there,” Rolo replied, voice eerily calm. “They said I was only there as ‘Zero’s pet’. They tried to get rid of me their own way, but I managed to escape.”
There was something very wrong about all this…
“I’m glad of that, Rolo,” For once, he truthfully was—knowing the boy actually was his brother did wonders for how he viewed him. “But how did you know I was…”
“I know my Nii-san,” Rolo replied, eyes narrowing. “That girl said she saw you with Kururugi. And I know Kururugi had his old home here. I figured I’d check.”
“Lelouch,” Suzaku tried to say something, but Lelouch wouldn’t let him.
“It’s good that you found us, Now come on down, and we can get you cleaned up. There’s…there’s a lot we need to talk about, Rolo.” Like how you’re actually my brother.
Rolo was silent for a moment—purple eyes reduced to near-slits as he glared from his brother to the one beside him. “No…that’s not how this is going to work.”
“…Rolo?”
“You left me. You left me there on that island with no one to look after me. And then you came here.”
“Yes, Rolo, I had to come here because…I can’t explain everything right now, Rolo! Just come down here and let me tell you everything; there’s some things you need to know!”
“You left me and came here, with him!”
Only now did it dawn on Lelouch what exactly was happening. “Wh—what a minute! Rolo, listen to me, I had to come to Suzaku’s because we were protecting someone else!”
“Someone else? Everyone else has your attention! You care about everyone else before me, Nii-san! And worst of all is him!”
“Will you just—!”
“You were his before I even met you! All this time you’ve wanted to come back to him again, even if he hated you! Even if I told you he would rather kill you than be your friend again, you still longed for him! And now he’s finally got you in his grasp, Nii-san! Well, I won’t have it!” Rolo drew a long knife from inside his coat. “I won’t let anyone else take you away from me, Nii-san! Especially not him!”
Lelouch realized what was going to happen only seconds before it did—Rolo darted down the hill, and Suzaku only got a step back to defend himself before Rolo’s geass flashed.
The geass range was short—not even meeting Lelouch’s body, only feet away from Suzaku. Lelouch knew instantly why Rolo had done it—he wanted Lelouch to see, to see and not be able to do a thing about it.
Though only seconds passed, for Lelouch, it seemed like an eternity. He knew this was his fault. If he had only treated Rolo like his brother and not used him for his own gain—if he had only realized sooner what it was C.C. had wanted to tell him, if he hadn’t screamed and tossed Rolo aside after he had thought he lost Nunnally too…
Perhaps if he had once gotten a chance to turn to Rolo; had told him “You are my true brother,” and had treated him as such, this wouldn’t have happened.
But here he was, about to lose his best—and now only—friend because he had decided to treat this boy like a dirty rag instead of like what he was—a human being.
There was that gun in his hand. That one he had been cleaning—that one he suggested he take outside in case there was trouble. He knew what he had to do, but he didn’t want to—oh god, he didn’t want to.
It was just like when he had to choose to shoot Euphie. There was only one clear option, even if it resulted in something he desperately didn’t want to do.
He would hate himself for it, he knew he would, but he had no other choice—!
A gunshot rang out on the grounds of the Kururugi estate, scattering the birds in the nearby forest.
Dying eyes flickered open, as they looked up to see someone crying over them…someone they never expected to hold them like this.
“Rolo…”
“Nii-san…” Rolo murmured, comforted and at the same time disgusted—his Nii-san wasn’t his real brother, he had said so himself! He had chosen the traitor, Kururugi over him! “Why did you…?”
“I’m sorry…I’m sorry…” Lelouch’s geass eyes were filled with tears, and if they ever had a chance to show some sort of emotion, it would have been now. “I just…I couldn’t let you…”
“But…Nii-san…you left me…you went to him.”
“I know, I’m sorry…I’m sorry…” he repeated, knowing full well there was nothing he could ever say that would make up for this. “Rolo, I couldn’t…I couldn’t let you kill him. Not him, not anyone else.”
“But Nii-san left me! I just…”
“I’m sorry, Rolo.” Lelouch hugged the boy towards him, trying not to look at the pool of blood that continued to grow on the front of his jacket. “I should have…I should have treated you better. Like a human being, not like something as a part of a plan. I should have…I should have at least tried to treat you like family, but I never did…and now it ended up like this.”
“But I’m not your family! You said so yourself! You’re the one who—”
“I know, but Rolo, listen to me! You really are…I mean…Rolo, we have the same parents. You really are my true little brother…I should have known. You were always looking out for me, weren’t you? Like family? I should have looked out for you.”
Something filled the boy’s eyes, in addition to the tears. “Really, Nii-san?”
“Really.” A few tears fell down onto Rolo’s chest. “You’ve always been my little brother, even if I didn’t notice.”
The boy gave a few gasps. “Nii-san…to me, you’ve always…been…my…” And then, there was no more.
Lelouch tried to hold it in, but he couldn’t—his brother—his real brother, was dead. And it was because of him. Hugging the boy’s form to his chest, he truly cried—knowing fully that it was his fault his brother lay in his arms, dead.
Suzaku watched Lelouch like that, for a long time. Considering that he was the one Rolo tried to kill, he couldn’t be quite as forgiving. But there was something even he could see clearly.
Rolo had loved his brother. Albeit it was a twisted love, but it was love all the same. It was an insane love that drove Rolo to try to take Lelouch all for himself. And it was love—well, a sort of love—that made Lelouch know he had to kill Rolo in the end.
Perhaps…he understood fully why Lelouch had to pull the trigger on Euphie that day.
After a while, Suzaku came and knelt down by Lelouch, “Lelouch?” he asked. His best friend turned to him, tears still in his eyes.
“I killed my little brother,” he spoke in a shaken voice, unable to say anything else.
“You had to do it.”
Lelouch went silent once more, and after several minutes of thought, he said, “We’ll bury Rolo here.”
“That’s fine.”
“And after that…we are going to Britannia. We are going to rescue Nunnally. And then I will claim the throne as Emperor.”
“What?”
“That is what I am going to do.” Lelouch stated in a hard voice, clutching his brother to his chest once more. “I am going to change this world. Change it so that I will never see anyone else I care about die right in front of my eyes.”
chapter 16 here.
Well, only two more chapters after this! I hope I can at least get it done before November and NaNoWriMo starts, at least.
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Well, I'm glad that Suzaku and Lelouch have sort of made up. And it will be interesting if/when Euphy goes batshit again.
So yeah! Glad you updated :)
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Thanks!
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(no subject)
...oh, crap. NaNoWriMo. Please update soon, then.
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The fact Rolo HAD to die for the plot though gives me bad feelings of Euphie going nuts and Suzaku having to kill her for the same sort of reason. T.T NOOOOOOOOOO EUPHIE live and have happy life with Lulu and Suzaku and Nunnally and be adorable!