Code Geass: A bundle of unlikely events, Story 01: Consequence

[karumachan.livejournal.com]

I've decided to make a new fic =3
this time its a bundle of short stories all set in a Suza/Lulu theme
This the first story i wrote for the bundle...

beware it's Suza/Lulu

Story 01: Consequence
Summary:
Because of a twist of events Lelouch finds himself not only powerless but also confused of the consequence of his action...
Category: Angst, romance...
Warnings: for rape and of course yaoi but you already knew that... you naughty person...
Status: Complete

you can always read it and review through FFnet..
which can be found here

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4117561/1/Code_Geass_A_series_of_unlikely_events



Code Geass: A series of unlikely events
Story 01: Consequence
Writer: Asheron Karuma
Don’t own
Yay time for the first story I thought of, well not the first I thought of but the first I am typing out right now...
Such a silly idea because I was half asleep in the middle of the night when I realised that my disc man was still running, guess what soundtrack I was listening to :)
Anyway, as the music kept on running I was imagining this, naughty girl am I not...
Either way enjoy this first chapter...
Ooh yes, this takes place before Lelouch used geass on Suzaku... enjoy!

One more after finishing it...
This story will get a sequel in the future...
The sequel has to do with the Island of God episode, several things that happened before it that include Suzaku’s Knighthood and of course Euphie...
Enjoy!
---
Chapter 01: The mistaken command
There was something that kept on bothering him as he attended his classes...
His glance pointing to a person sitting several rows before him as he frowned...
However he quickly yawned as he tried to not look suspicious with his constant glares and silent moments...

Lelouch vi Britannia was actually worried for some part...
There was actually something strange going on...
His friend... or enemy depended on how you looked at things though at the time he didn’t know any better than this, kept on acting strange in his presence...
As if bothered with something that he couldn’t talk about he looked at him... but it wasn’t the many looks he was worried about... it was the way he was looking and acting...
In fact it was suspicious and he feared that his friend might be on to something... something he wasn’t allowed to find out about...
He tried to ask something about it but Suzaku would just shrug it off or would just say nothing...
It was as if he was being avoided... Lelouch hated to be ignored...

Another day passed...
Same Black Knight business... same nap times during classes and the same stares he received from the brown haired youth...
He was thinking about confronting him about his behaviour as the day went by and came to the conclusion that he would have to speak with him after the student council meeting alone...
It was the perfect opportunity...

“Ne, Suzaku...?”

He eventually asked in the changing room...
Suzaku pulled his T-shirt over his head before turning to the Prince...

“What...?”

“Can I speak with you later, after school...?”

Although he wasn’t certain what his response would be, he expected him to ask him why they couldn’t discuss it now rather than after school, but much to his amazement the other youth first looked in another direction before answering his question with a soft smile...
Lelouch noticed that his cheeks were heated as well...

“Of course...”

He frowned as he continued to change in his gym class garment as well...
A lot of the other students had already left, though as tidy as he was Lelouch made sure that all his things were neatly organised in his locker...
Suzaku waited for him at the door and he was ready to close the door of his locker when he heard something vibrating...
He opened the door again and grabbed his cell phone, frowning as he read the number on the display...

“Who is it...?”

He smiled at his friend and said to him...

“Can you tell the teacher that I’ll be a little late... it’s an important call... it’s from Sayako...”

He wasn’t sure if Suzaku caught his lie but when he smiled, nodded and walked away he was certain that it was safe...
The phone had stopped ringing and he quickly called back the person that was calling him...
This person in fact was Ögi, but he had no idea on why he was calling him...
As their conversation went on he noticed that other people were getting inside the dressing room so he quickly left and talked to the man outside...

A couple of minutes later he hung up and sighed, their conversation was meaningless after all...
Ögi was impatient and wanted to know how much longer he would be absent from their headquarters...
Lately he had been absent a lot, busy thinking of new plans but also rethinking his strategies to find any mistakes...
The fact that Mao had appeared opened a lot of things for him and that was a major reason for this...
If there were more geass users then he would have to be careful and he would need a plan to keep his younger sister safe...
Right now he was checking everything in his own house... C.C. calling him paranoid but she never told him about other users... nor did she say anything about there being more users but she wouldn’t tell him anyway, if she didn’t open her mouth then he wouldn’t know if there were more users but if there were then he would have to be careful...
It was better for him to be over cautious than careless...

He walked to the door and already had his hand on the knob when he heard voices inside, he frowned and remained still in order to listen...
Gym class had already started, he could hear the whistle going off every now and then so it made no sense that there were people inside...

“Aren’t we going too far...?”

“You said you were in... there is no going back now...”

“But to do this... his uniform...”

“That Eleven scum needs to know his place... he doesn’t belong here...!”

His eyes widened at those comments, because he already knew who they were talking about...
His thoughts lingered to a memory, when he saw Suzaku washing his gym clothes... his clothes stained with gravity... words that could only belong to those who looked down on Elevens...
Though Suzaku wasn’t considered one any longer... an honourably Britannian was what he was now...
These men... they probably marked those previous possessions as well...

He snapped out of his thoughts when he heard soft clicking...
It belonged to a spray can and without any hesitation did he open the door loud enough for them to hear...
He looked at them, three guys that attended this school as well...
One still standing next to the locker, the other holding up his uniform jacket as the third was bending down with the can in his hands...
They looked at the sudden intruder...

“What are you guys doing...!?”

He asked them and one dropped his arms, though the black jacket was still in his hands, the other on the ground stood up and glared at him...

“You...”

One of the three students looked feared as the others simply glared at him in anger, hoping that their posture would scare him away...
But their attempts were meaningless because Lelouch was feeling enraged by their actions...
It was something disgusting... to allow such feelings to take form in an act of violence...
Suzaku was his friend, he fought hard to earn his place in this school...

“What are you going to do...? Report us?”

His hands clenched around his cell phone...
No he had a better idea... and he smiled as he said...

“If I report you then you would get a detention class and that would be it...”

He smiled sinisterly

“Ooh, but why report when I can do so much more...”

The three students looked at him strangely and eventually laughed at the sudden threats...
One student, what he was going to do... kill them?

“You will leave my friend alone... in fact you will get your belongings and go... never come back...”

The command left his eye and the three students froze in their spot, the result went as planned...
They dropped the jacket on the floor and the other put the can back in his backpack before rising from the ground...

“Let’s go...”

One of them said in a hazy tone before they walked out...
Lelouch watched them as they closed the door behind them and eventually turned to Suzaku’s jacket...
Walking forward, bending down and picking it up he looked at it to see if there was any damage...
But as he did there was a sudden sting developing in his left eye and he hissed as he covered it out of instinct...
The jacket falling on the ground as he fell on his knees...
The pain lifted as quickly as it had appeared and he wondered what it was...
Grabbing the jacket he got back on his feet and rubbed his eye... not noticing that it still glowed in a red colour before changing back to its original form...
He folded up Suzaku’s jacket and put it back inside the locker before turning to a mirror, but since his eyes looked normal and he couldn’t find any reason for him to call in sick and so he left the dressing room... this mostly because he had something important to do...
His conversation with Suzaku was important... if he was onto something he had to find out... yet wondered how he would correct those mistakes if it were true... would he use geass on him...?
He never wanted to use it on him... but if he had no choice he would have to use it...

The rest of the day went passed casually...
Gym class wasn’t much out of the ordinary though he found it strange that Suzaku decided to warm up with someone else...
Normally they would do that together, so he found it strange that he suddenly found him stretching with someone else... leaving him with Rivalz...

“What is wrong, Lelouch...?”

He had been asking him through out the entire ordeal, because he kept on looking at Suzaku as the other boy did a sit up, Lelouch holding him by his legs as he mentally counted each time he rose and fell back...
He had answered simply and direct...

“Nothing...”

They were practising on their hurdling assignment that would be graded in the upcoming few weeks...
Not something he was good at but it still entertained him to see people run passed jumping over the small fences, or falling over them, also at this time was he being ignored...
He could feel him staring at him from behind... though wondered why Suzaku wasn’t saying anything...
He pulled his knees up and rested his head on them as he waited his turn... Suzaku’s had to run before him, his name was being called and as Suzaku got up to walk to the starters place did he watch his every move... his eyes turning to slits as the other glanced at him from over his shoulder...
The fact that he asked him to talk with him alone must be bothering him a lot...
But why was this bothering him... if it was something of small importance then his reaction would be more... normal... but now he could tell that something was going on... and this time it was something serious... had he figured him out...?

---

“Ne, Lelouch...”

He looked up at his worried friend...
Not only Rivalz, but now Kallen as well was looking at him strangely...
He noticed that the entire room had grown quiet... every student council member was now looking at him...

“Is something wrong... you’re so quiet...”

She asked him in a quiet voice...
Much different from the Kallen he really knew...
He smiled at her and sat back in his seat…

“It’s nothing... Sayako called me and asked me if she could buy new table cloths... I’m just worried about what colour she may come home with or even how many she will buy...”

A silly lie...
Though Milly laughed at him and put a hand on Kallen’s shoulder as she said to him...

“Hilarious, Lulu... sometimes you really are feminine... if only you were born a girl!”

Kallen and even Rivalz were looking at him, possibly to imagine how he would look like as a woman, he looked nervous and felt quite uncomfortable by it until he was wacked by a rolled up paper held by Milly...

“Guts!”

She yelled out before ordering them to get to work again...
He sighed as he looked at Suzaku, wondering why he wasn’t being bothered by them...
Even now he looked absent minded... his attention only being given to the other student council members... well almost all... Shirley was still gone...
He stared at the empty seat as he reorganised the papers in his hands...
There was a taint of regret, though there was nothing he could do about it now... it was too late for that...

“Don’t stay too long... Nunnally might get worried...”

Milly eventually said as she pulled her bag over her shoulder...
Lelouch and Suzaku were the only ones left now... the rest had already left because their work time was over...
With the excuse of wanting to finish this part he stayed behind, Suzaku had said the same and had added that because he didn’t have to work at the military that day that he was free to stay as long as he could...
Milly gave them both a strange glance before shutting the door behind her...
A strange silence followed and Lelouch gathered his papers because he wasn’t planning on working on the new schedules...
He pilled them up neatly and got up... walking to the cat in the back as he checked his feeding bowl... finding it empty he turned to the cabin where Arthur’s food was stored, he opened it and it was then that Suzaku finally started to talk...

“I guess I should thank you...”

He frowned slightly as he grabbed the carton box, looking at his friend as he sat up again...
Suzaku wasn’t looking at him but he could tell that he was emotional...

“For what...?”

It was then that he looked at him and answered...

“They were back weren’t they... I wouldn’t have expected you to step in...”

Then realisation hit him and he understood what Suzaku was talking about...

“How...”

“My jacket... I know how tidy you can be Lelouch...”

He smiled and turned so that he could face the other...
Lelouch got up and put some cat food in Arthur’s bowl to please the cat for the night...

“Is that why you wanted to talk to me...? if it is then...”

“It’s not...”

He answered coldly and Suzaku looked at him with surprise...
Lelouch decided to be more direct and remained seated with his back turned to the other as he placed the bowel near the cat, Arthur started eating as soon as he put it down and he looked at the cat...

“You’ve been acting strange... is something wrong...?”

Suzaku remained quiet and looked at the other...
Though eventually smiled and could feel his cheeks burning up...
He decided to avert his glance to the floor...

“So you’ve noticed... I should’ve expected that from you...”

“If something is bothering you... just tell me... I hate it when you keep secrets from me...”

A bitter comment because he was doing to same to Suzaku...
Though he didn’t know that they both carried that same sin...
He got up and walked back to the closet, storing the box inside again...
Suzaku remained quiet and Lelouch stood up straight and looked at him...
Observing him as Suzaku answered...

“Lelouch... have you ever been in love...?”

He frowned...
Was it about love...?
Was that why he was acting strange...?

“... Yes”

He eventually answered, because he used to be in love...
Though that was something in the past...
Suzaku still averted his eyes and continued...

“How did you let that person know how you felt...?”

With the weight of suspicion lifted form his shoulder did he laugh and Suzaku looked at him...
Suzaku was in love... he wondered who it was...
The worry he felt was for nothing... how silly...

“Show that person how you feel that one moment... just do whatever is on your mind... that’s all...”

He turned and closed the closet door...
He was still bend down when he suddenly felt a hand snake around his waist and he gasped as he looked over his shoulder...

“Suzaku... what are you-”

He gasped when the hand tightened around his inner thigh and threw he the other of him before standing up straight, leaning against the closet as he looked at him...
Suzaku was still bend down on the ground...

“I think I can do that... showing you how I feel...”

His heart skipped a beat as he looked at him, his eyes surrounded by a thin red line... geass... but how...?!
His heart skipped a beat...
Maybe... that previous pain...
His eyes widened in fear as realisation hit him... permanent, it was permanent... just like Mao’s...
His left eye now drained of its original colour was now glowing in a soft pink tan as the winged mark floated around his pupil...
Suzaku got up from the ground and stood tall before him as he felt himself backing up against the closet...

“I think I can show you what was on my mind...Lelouch...”

His voice hazed as if on drugs... his eyes filled with lust...
The person Suzaku was in love with... was it him?!

He gasped again as Suzaku forced his lips upon his, he tried to push him of and run away but was tackled down on the floor...
Suzaku sat down on top of him and pinned him down with both arms next to his head...
He looked at him with fear in his eyes... he didn’t want this... specially not like this...
Pressing his eyes shut he could feel him passing his neck... trailing kisses and licks as his head rose up and down... and as he kissed him he only thought to himself that this was his fault...
This was just an accident... there was nothing he could do...

“Suzaku!”

He cried out softly as Suzaku nipped his lip, he could taste blood in his own mouth...
He didn’t want to hurt Suzaku, nor kill him to stop the command but he didn’t want this either...
He gasped as a hand was pushed under his blouse... trailing small circles against his stomach and with that opportunity did Suzaku pass his lips...
He kept on repeating to himself that this was a mistake... he had to pull through... Suzaku would forget about it when he was finished... then everything could be normal again...
But he couldn’t help keeping back the tears that sprang in his eyes... they ran freely as his belt was unbuckled and his jacket removed...
His blouse was ripped open... several buttons flying off in the process as Suzaku licked his chest... his hands busying themselves with his pants and in a moment of panic did he try to crawl away from him...
Though this sudden action was not left unnoticed because the hands suddenly left his pants and held on tightly to his hips as not to let him go...

“Suzaku... stop this... please...”

He pleaded as he looked at him though the red lined eyes prevented him from acting normal...
He watched in horror as Suzaku continued to open his pants with his teeth... one hand assisting him as he pulled them down...
Lelouch couldn’t see anymore... he didn’t want to see this...
He closed his eyes shut for the moment, feeling his undergarment slipping away as well...
He knew what was about to happen... he tried to move but Suzaku pinned him down with both hands and he gasped loudly as he felt Suzaku’s tongue run over the top...
Un able to support him he leaned back, throwing his arms across his eyes to make sure that he wouldn’t see...
He had to pull through... that was the only reason why he would stop now...
Everything would turn back to normal... Suzaku wouldn’t remember this...
Just a little more...

He moaned and cried as Suzaku continued...
Sucking and licking as he tried not to look...
It was tempting but he didn’t want it... he wouldn’t look...
That was what he reminded himself as he cried as he felt himself growing closer to his climax...
He didn’t say anything when he came... only a gasp and only then did he dare himself to look...
His eyes widened as he saw Suzaku rise up from between his legs, licking the last bit of cum from his lips as he smiled at him...
Lelouch quickly sat up and backed away from him...
Before the command would lift would he have to go...
Suzaku couldn’t see him like this...

He quickly pulled up his pants again and with his blouse still hanging half open did he grab his jacket, his phone falling on the ground in his haste...
He didn’t see it, heck he even left his schoolbag behind as he ran out the door, it shut behind him and he ran...
He continued running until he could run no more...
Leaning against the wall for support to catch his breath did he realise what had happened...
The mistake he had made...

“Lelouch... have you ever been in love...?”

His eyes shut tight as new tears ran down his cheeks, his belongings falling from his hands on the ground as he slid down the wall to his knees as he continued to sob...

Chapter 02: Self loathing
“Lamperouge...”

There was a short silence in the classroom as the teacher shook his head and continued to call up names from his attendance list...
Suzaku looked over his shoulder at the empty seat behind him...
Something was going on... he was certain of that...
Ever since the previous night there was something strange going on...

When he found himself in an empty classroom he first noticed the odd taste in his mouth...
He wasn’t able to identify it and swallowed hard as he looked around...
His last memory... he was inside this classroom with Lelouch...

“Lelouch...?”

He asked out and realised that he was alone...
He sighed and tried to remember what had happened... his memory was blank...
Getting up from the floor he realised something and looked outside the window...
The sun was already setting, tinting the sky with an orange horizon as he walked to the window...
It wasn’t this late when he was here with him, was it?

“Guh...!”

He grunted out as he felt a pain in his leg, looking down he saw Arthur hanging on to him, with his teeth piercing through his uniform and into his flesh...

“Arthur... why do you do...”

He didn’t finish that sentence because he saw something lying on the floor...
He bend down and picked it up as the cat quickly ran away from him, it was a cell phone... and he knew who it belonged to...
It was strange and he started to grow more and more anxious as he looked around...
The papers... Lelouch had piled them up and even now were they lying in their original position...
His schoolbag still standing next to his chair...

It was very unlikely that Lelouch would leave his properties like that...
Did something happen...?
Fear struck him as he grabbed the bag, tucking the cell phone in it as well before running out of the classroom...
He had thought about calling Sayako, but if she was with Nunnally and if something had indeed happened then he would worry her...
Either way he started to run towards the small house on the campus, hoping that he could find some clues there...

As he caught his breath he knocked on the door, impatiently and worried...
The lights of his room were turned off... he noticed that as he looked up...

“Kururugi... what are you doing here at this hour...?”

Sayako eventually asked him as she opened the door, there was no sign of worry on her face and as he stood up straight again he forced himself to smile as he answered in between the deep breaths...

“Lelouch... is he here?”

He asked her and she looked at him surprised...

“Lelouch-sama returned about an hour ago... is something wrong?”

His eyes widened at that mention and he felt a bit of relief...

“Can speak to him...?”

At that the maid shook her head and said...

“I’m sorry, he’s already in bed... he said that he wasn’t feeling well and didn’t want to be disturbed... is something wrong? He was so hasty when he came home, going upstairs without even saying hello to Nunnally... it was so unlikely for him...”

Realising that it wouldn’t be possibly to see him he gave up...
He raised his hand and offered Sayako the schoolbag he had carried with him...

“I don’t know... but he left his bag in the classroom today... I’m just here to bring it back...”

“That is very kind of you Suzaku, I’ll be sure to let him know...”

They had said their goodbyes and he had left then...
Now, the next day, finding out that Lelouch hadn’t shown up at school at all... he was once again worried...
He had asked around but none of them knew where he was... most of them shrugging it off as unimportant because Lelouch was known to skip his classes quite often...
Nunnally should know something, he would have to look for her during the lunch break...

---

“Still self loathing...”

The green haired witch said in a boring tone as she walked around his bed...
Sitting down on the edge of it as she watched the hidden Prince, lying underneath the covers and shutting him from everything else...

“How long are you going to stay there...?”

She asked as she crossed her legs...
The bulge in the covers moved and Lelouch’s head popped out, he looked at her with detest, the pink colour still glowing in his left eye together with a geass mark...
C.C. looked at it but showed no emotion whatsoever...

“If you’re bored just go...”

He said to her in a cold tone...

“Hmm...?”

He slowly sat up as she got up from his bed, walking around the room as if she tried to look for something to do...

“What are you going to do...? Shut yourself in your room and hope it will become better?”

“Shut up...”

He hissed at her but she ignored him as she continued to look through his stuff...

“That boy... he’s probably worried...”

“Shut up!”

He now shouted with more aggression as his hands gripped the fabric as he glared at the woman...
C.C. sighed and walked towards him again...

“I guess I should go... I have no interest in behaviour like this...”

She stood before him and put her hand in one of her sleeves, she pulled out a small eye patch...
The type that would usually be used in hospitals, a small white plaster like square with two elastic strings attached to it...
She dropped it next to him on the bed...

“Goodbye...”

She said before leaving the room...
Lelouch stared at the eye patch and grabbed it, cursing mentally as he threw it on his nightstand before turning around and curling up again...
This aching feeling of regret... it wasn’t leaving...
He couldn’t stop trembling at the memories he had... also un able to erase them because he had already used geass on himself...
Suzaku... he couldn’t face him... he would only remember those empty words and the rough touches when he saw him...
The fear of it happening again strangled him... even if Suzaku didn’t remember anything he still feared that...
His heart beating faster at those thoughts and his cheeks heating up as he hid his face in the covers...

“Lelouch... have you ever been in love...?”

Those words... he had been serious about that, but why him...?
Why did it have to be him... but most importantly why did ‘this’ had to happen now...
It was his own fault... everything was... if he had listened to the signals and had left to consult C.C. then this wouldn’t have happened... and now...
He was left, alone and not only physically but also emotionally broken...
What was he supposed to say if he had gone to school... what was he supposed to do...?

“Lelouch-sama, welcome home...”

“Welcome home, onii-sama”

He hadn’t said anything to them and had run up the stairs right after...
He could hear his sister call out to him and heard her ask Sayako if something was wrong...
Shutting the door of his room as quickly as he could he started to undress, everything was being thrown off...
The blouse, his pants and also his underwear... not caring that the green haired witch was still in his room though she was lying on his bed, sleeping probably...
There was a knock on his door and Sayako’s voice echoed through the room...

“Lelouch-sama, is everything alright...?”

He froze for a moment, still wearing his underwear while having one leg stuck in his pants, he turned towards the door...

“Yes... I just... don’t feel well today, Sayako... could you tell Nunnally that I’m going to bed...”

He could hear her hesitate, it was no wonder because even now his voice sounded panicky...

“Are you feeling alright then...? Do you want me to bring you something...?”

“No... I’ll be fine... I’m just very tired... I can take care of myself...”

“Alright then... but please call me when you need me, alright...?”

“Alright...”

He could hear her leaving the hallway and he sighed, the witch on his bed turned around and looked at him...
She stared at his left eye in particular...

“So something did happen...”

Was all she said before turning around again...
This ticked him off...

“Is that all you’re going to tell me...”

She sat up again, clinging onto her cheese-kun doll as she scanned him, noticing the marks in his neck and the swollen lip...
She smiled slightly as she held cheese-kun a little closer to herself...

“Who did this...?”

Lelouch looked away and kicked away his pants that was still stuck to his leg...

“A girl...?”

She then asked though judging from his rejection she figured that she had guessed wrong...

“A boy...?”

“Shut up...”

He hissed at her and looked her in the eyes with a death glare, though as emotionless as she was C.C. remained still and content...

“‘That’ boy...?”

He knew who she was referring to and before she could say anything more did he walk towards the bathroom, shutting the door loudly as he turned on the water...
C.C. lay down in her back again and stared at the ceiling...

“Unexpected isn’t it...”

She frowned...

“I don’t think they fit together... if you know what I mean...”

---

“Nunnally...?”

The wheelchair stopped moving and the girl inside looked over her shoulder to find the source for this sound...
She heard footsteps coming up to her...

“Suzaku...”

She whispered out as she recognised him...
Even blind she could recognise the worry in his voice...
She knew why he was worried, she shared the same feelings...
Her brother, why was he acting so strange...?

“Onii-sama...”

She whispered as she felt a hand wave through her hair, the hand stopped for a moment and it was then that she heard his voice...
It didn’t sound like him... the sound of his voice... it was so sad...

“Are you awake...?”

She nodded as his hand continued to move

“I’m sorry... I’m sorry for forgetting you today...”

She raised her hand and grabbed his wrist before whispering out to him...

“Is something wrong, onii-sama?”

“No... I’m not feeling well that’s all... don’t worry too much...”

She could hear from his voice that something was indeed bothering him...
It sounded so empty and afraid... it had been a long while since she had heard her brother talk like that...
She wanted to ask more but he kissed her on her cheek before rising up to his feet...

“Onii-sama?”

“What...?”

“Suzaku-kun came by today... he brought your bag...”

She could her him gasp slightly at the mention of his name and wondered if the two of them were in a fight...

“He did...? That’s good then...sleep well, Nunnally...”

He said to her before leaving her room...
Since that night she had not spoken to him... he was still in his room the next morning...
She had asked Sayako to see if he was awake but he wouldn’t respond...
Now with Suzaku at her side she was sort of relieved that she wasn’t being paranoid about this...

“How are you doing, Nunnally?”

He asked her and she felt his hands touching her wheelchair probably to push her forward...

“I’m alright... just worried... you feel it too don’t you...?”

Large words for such a fragile girl, Suzaku looked at her with surprise before admitting to her...

“Lelouch... is he still...”

“Home... I’m worried... for onii-sama to act like this... something must be wrong... Did you two fight...?”

“No... He wasn’t angry with me when I last saw him”

She thought for a moment and Suzaku did the same...
Eventually he asked her...

“Can you think of anything else...?”

“I don’t know anything... but I hope it’s not”

She gripped the handles of her wheelchair as she said this, Suzaku stared at her as he walked...
He knew her fear...
But wasn’t certain if this was in fact about their heritage...
He sighed as they continued to walk with her...

“Mind if I drop by this afternoon...”

“Always... you’re always welcome Suzaku...”

She was glad that her friend was offering his help, as always...
Suzaku always saved him when he was in trouble...

“Thank you... for being such a good friend to him...”

He didn’t say anything back because he was too occupied thinking about her comment...
Friend... he knew he was his friend but lately those things changed for him...
There was something about him that had always caught his attention... but he had only begun to realise this after having the most peculiar kind of dreams...
Dreams he thought he would never have but when he saw his blushed face, looking at him with those deep purple eyes as he told him...

“You can do anything to me... Suzaku...”

The way he pronounced his name always lingered in his mind...
The things he did afterwards, unwillingly because it was still a dream but partly also self wanted... His name was being called... cried even...
Those dreams had stained his mind to a point where he found it difficult to hang around him...
His thin waist... long elegant hands and black hair... he couldn’t stand not having him...
At first he tried to repel those feelings, specially with Shirley still wanting him... but as time passed he found it more and more difficult... so he tried an alternative... and that was avoidance...
That was until...

“Can I speak with you later, after school...?”

He thought about it and first thought that it was best to still hide his feelings...
That was until he opened his locker that afternoon and found his jacket folded up neatly on top of his belongings...
He had looked over his shoulder at the Prince who remained in the back and had not seen his glance...
His hands held the fabric as he thought... still confused as to why Lelouch would fold it up...
Unless it was lying on the ground... but the strange thing was that he had put it inside the locker before he left... just like that time... when he found his gym clothes covered with red gravity...
He looked over his shoulder again... maybe those guys came back... Lelouch, did he... take care of them...?
He smiled as he looked at his hands again before putting his jacket down on the bench...
Lelouch had certainly worked on his guts in those years... and if Lelouch had the courage to step in and say something against people like that then he shouldn’t act so cowardly and should just confess his feelings...
He was still uncertain as to what he was going to say but was certain that the outcome couldn’t be worse than this... Lelouch wouldn’t hate him for it, would he...?

The odd silence that followed when they were alone...
He was ready to tell him everything and had wanted to that was until he found himself alone in that classroom...
And now... everything seemed alienated...
He found himself walking up the steps to his house when his classes had ended...
The door was open and as he walked inside he realised that Nunnally wasn’t there either, probably gone so she wouldn’t be in the way...
He sighed as he walked into the kitchen, trying to think of a strategy as he made some tea...

---

“I think I can do that... showing you how I feel...”

His eyes widened again as he woke up from his dream...
The same dream... why wouldn’t it leave him alone...
He grunted as he dug his head further into his pillow...

“How long do you plan on haunting me...”

He whispered to himself as he moved his head from left to right, his eyes red from not only crying but also from exhaustion...
He sat up and looked at the time... he should be getting downstairs to eat diner...
But once again he didn’t feel much like socialising... he didn’t want to be seen by anyone...
They would probably ask him questions...

He took the eye patch and put it on... still feeling uneasy with it as he looked around his room...
He wouldn’t be able to hang out with the rest as often as he would want to now, in fact he found it safer to cut his bonds with them completely but that was still impossible as they were his friends and he saw them everyday...
He sighed and tried to think, though was loudly interrupted when a voice called out from the other side of the door...
His hands steadily started to shake as he recognised that voice...

“Lelouch... are you awake...?”

He tried to stay as still as possible, with a tiny hope that Suzaku would think he was gone and that he would leave but he should know better than to hope on such stupid thoughts...
Suzaku knew how he acted... since childhood he had known... this time it was no exception...

“I’m coming in...”

He said and Lelouch quickly pulled the blankets over him as the door slid open, he hid himself underneath them as he heard footsteps...
Coming closer and walking around him, He could hear something being set on the table next to him... probably something for him to drink or eat...
His breaths were fastened as he felt the other sitting next to him...

“Nunnally is worried about you...”

He eventually said in a quieter and kinder voice...
He hadn’t heard him speak like that in a long time...
Yet he said nothing in return and instead pulled the covers a little closer...

“What’s wrong...?”

He closed his eyes as he tried to ignore him, his voice sounded nearly pleading...
His voice...

“I think I can show you what was on my mind...Lelouch...”

“...Lelouch...”

A hand reached out to him and gripped the fabric before trying to pull it away...

“Lelouch...”

His eyes widened in fear as he realised it and he suddenly jumped up, not only kicking off the hand but also causing himself to fall off his bed on the other end...
The blanket fell on the ground as he crawled away from him...
Suzaku looked at him confused and got up from the other end... looking at him with strange eyes as he tried to reach out to him once again...
But as an act of defence did he raise his hands and shielded himself as he yelled...

“Stay away...!”

Suzaku stopped in his tracks...

“Why...”

“Don’t touch me... don’t you ever get near me again!”

Suzaku noticed that Lelouch was trying to crawl further against the cabins next to his bed as if he was capable of hiding in them, as if he wished that they would just swallow him up...
He noticed the eye patch though it hadn’t lingered to him why he was wearing one, but what actually pierced his heart was his still visible eye...
He noticed that they were red, swollen... and even now tears ran out of them...
Lelouch looked terrible... his lip swollen on one side but his eyes... they expressed the fear he had...
Fear for him... but why...? Why did he act this way... did he do something?

“...I hate you!”

His eyes widened as those words left the Prince’s lips...
His hands dropping down to his side as they rang through his head...
Hate... he hated him... Lelouch... Why...

He closed his eyes for a moment and tried to calm himself down...
There was no reason for him to stay... even if he wanted answers...
He opened his eyes again and noticed that Lelouch was looking at him...
But he quietly walked passed him and to the door...

“I still like you though...”

He said before leaving and as the door shut behind him he finally gave into the pain of his heart...
These words, they cut him deeply and he gripped his shirt as he walked, sitting down on a chair a moment later...
Trying to think... trying to think of anything but he couldn’t...
His mind was blank all beside 3 small words...

“...I hate you!”

What had he done to scare him like that...

Chapter 03: Vision

“I think I can do that... showing you how I feel...”

He had said before trailing kisses down the other’s neck...
The struggles he gave meant nothing to him... he only did what his heart desired at the moment...
He kissed him roughly, the taste of blood accelerating his excitement...

His tongue... the moans... the tears...
His eyes widened at those sights...

“Suzaku... stop this... please...”

And then...

“How did you let that person know how you felt...?”

His eyes snapped open and he gasped when he felt himself snap back to reality...
He sat up and placed a hand against his forehead, his body covered with cold sweat as he tried to calm himself down...
His breaths were fastened and his hand still clenched the thin blanket that covered him...

“That dream...”

Kururugi Suzaku found himself in the depths of paranoia...
His dream... it was much different then the one he had in the pas few weeks

“You can do anything to me... Suzaku...”

But this one... instead of lust and love...
It reeked of fear and helplessness...
The things he did... he didn’t think about them but they plagued him for some reason...

“His lips...”

His eyes widened at the similarity...
In his dream he had bitten his lips... had even drawn blood from them and then this afternoon...
When he was lying on the ground he saw them didn’t he... his lower lip swollen on one side...

“Ooh God...”

He didn’t do those things did he...?!
He couldn’t have done them... he would’ve remembered...
At these words did his mind stop once more...
Remember... he couldn’t remember what he had done in a certain period two days ago...
The classroom... he was there with Lelouch... next thing he knew...

“Show that person how you feel that one moment... just do whatever is on your mind... that’s all...”

He forced himself on his feet and ran for the bathroom...
Falling down on his knees in front of the toilet as he started to cough...
Not because he was disgusted by what he had done but more or less with the force and disbelief he did... the sudden realisation made his stomach flip over...
It made sense now... partly it made sense...
The things Lelouch left behind... he must’ve been scared to death... he had raped him...
He had raped him... He, his best friend... Kururugi Suzaku... who vowed to protect him...
But why had he done it...? that didn’t make sense to him... why did he do it...?
Why didn’t he remember...? Did he lose himself?

His mind’s thoughts changed from that perspective to another...
Lelouch... he hurt him so badly...

“...I hate you!”

He couldn’t sit around and do nothing...
He couldn’t do that... not when things were like this...
He got up from the floor, grabbed his jacket and left his room...
Running to the other side of the street before climbing over the fence of the Ashford Academy estate...

---

3 AM and he had finally found the courage to step out of bed...
A light in the kitchen glowed as he poured the tea from the two cups down the drain...

“I still like you though...”

That idiot...
It was the only thing that he could call him right now...
Suzaku the idiot... but then again he was an even greater idiot then he was...
Making such a slip happen and getting all emotional about it...

“...I hate you!”

Those words he regretted them...
After seeing Suzaku’s expression when he tried to help him, to understand him...
But he was right... the way Suzaku touched him... kissed him and marked him...
He had no right... but that person... that wasn’t Suzaku...
It was the command that made him do that...
But what he did...

“Show that person how you feel that one moment... just do whatever is on your mind... that’s all...”

Was that really on his mind...?
He snapped out of his thoughts when he heard a window click open...
He spun around and slowly walked to the door to see what was going on...
The window opened and someone stepped inside...
A burglar? No... there weren’t any burglars here on the academy grounds...
Unless...

“Suzaku...?”

The person stopped and turned around...
Lelouch flinched as Suzaku walked towards him...

“Lelouch...”

He whispered towards him and Lelouch then knew that something was wrong...
The tone of his voice... it sounded different... not enraged but... was it sadness...?

“What are you doing here at this hour...?”

He asked as his hands clenched to fists... they were shaking...
He shouldn’t act like that... it was a mistake... the flaw he made it meant nothing...
But Suzaku walked forward and he gasped at the state he was in...
His face cut in several places, his clothing even ripped and covered with dirt...
What was he doing? Did he break into the school or something...?

“I’m sorry...”

He looked at him more closely...
Suzaku was apologizing... why...? Did he find out?!
But how... he shouldn’t remember anything...!
He backed away from Suzaku when he saw tears in his eyes...
Confused and afraid...

“Can we talk...?”

He blinked at the sudden offer...
He realised that this was a chance... he had made too many mistakes by giving into his emotions already... but Suzaku... he couldn’t leave him like this...

“Alright... sit down... I’ll make some tea...”

He turned and left for the kitchen, Suzaku settled down on a chair near the diner table as he removed his shoes...
Moment later he returned with a plate, carrying a teapot, some sugar, milk and two cups with teaspoons...
He noticed the distant look in Suzaku’s eyes as he set the plate down on the table...
He sat down on the other side...

“Your lip...”

The other started almost immediately with talking...
Lelouch started to pour tea in his cup as he did...

“Your neck...”

Suzaku avoided his glance...

“I did that didn’t I...?”

“Uh...?”

He hadn’t realised that the tea from the pot was now running over the edge of his cup...
He quickly raised the teapot again and put it down on the table as he thought...
His speculations were correct...
He found it hard to answer...

“... Yes... you...”

He stopped talking and Suzaku looked at him with shock...
Realising that it was in fact him who did this...
His hand tried to reach out towards Lelouch’s but he retreated his quickly...

“I’m sorry... I really didn’t mean to...”

Suzaku wasn’t sure why he was talking like this...
Because he didn’t even remember doing it...
But when Lelouch responded to him did he look up...

“I know... you didn’t mean to...”

He looked at him as Lelouch smiled at him...
The thin line was small but it showed something to him that he hadn’t seen from him in days...
Kindness...

“Can we...?”

“We still are...”

Suzaku smiled softly at that answer...
Lelouch got up from his chair and took the plate with him...
He walked back with the sugar and milk and returned to the kitchen again to get two new cups...
When he sat down again he poured tea in the two cups... this time without spilling the contents...
Suzaku took his cup and started to put sugar in his... as he started to drink Lelouch asked him...

“How long have you liked me...?”

He nearly choked on his tea and his cheeks were blushing rapidly as he looked at the flustered Prince...
A moment ago they were talking about rape... now the subject had changed to his crush... so fast...
But the Prince looked so serious right now... he wasn’t expecting him to be like this...
He lowered his cup as he answered... not able to stare in the other’s eyes he looked towards the kitchen instead but Lelouch’s was surprised at the answer...

“Always... ever since we became friends...”

Ever since they became friends... so long...
Lelouch was speechless at that answer and stared at him...

“I think I can do that... showing you how I feel...”

He was hiding it for so long...
He should've known... he should've found out about it before...
His cheeks started to heat up at the events that happened before...
The outcome was surely different... this might even turn to something useful...
His relationship with Suzaku... it might prove itself to be more useful then he imagined...
It could be his lifeline...
But what if he didn’t feel the same...?

“I should get going...”

Suzaku got up from his seat and Lelouch snapped out of his thoughts as he saw Suzaku walk over to the door...

“Wait!”

He ran towards him and grabbed his hand...

“Stay... it’s already late and the guards must be looking for you... you can stay... no... I insist that you stay...”

He guided Suzaku to one of the guestrooms and gave him some new clothes to sleep in...
He stood at the door as the other prepared himself to go to bed...
He didn’t feel the same... but there was one difference...
The Suzaku he witnessed then... it wasn’t the Suzaku he knew... would there be a difference...?

“I guess it’s goodnight then...”

Without thinking things through he walked forward towards him...
Suzaku turned to him and looked confused but before he could say anything he leaned forward his own lips connecting with Suzaku’s and as he backed away he didn’t only find himself crying...
He also found Suzaku looking at him flustered and even un able to move...
Did he just put more salt on the wounds...?

“G... Good night!”

He quickly said before running out of the room...
The door closing behind him as he skipped to his own room...
Leaning back against the door...
His hands shook as they reached for his heart... it was beating so fast right now...
But not out of fear... no... it felt warm... as if there was something moving inside him...
What was this...?

---

The next morning was sort of chaotic...
Not only had he not slept at all the remaining night but he also found himself speechless at everything that was being said to him...
Lelouch was already gone when he came downstairs, Nunnally tried to ask him several things but he was too flustered to answer them...
Why was this so complicated...?

His eyes narrowed as he looked at his textbook...
He remembered his kiss but also his tears afterwards...
Why did he kiss him...? out of pity...?
Was Lelouch forcing himself after witnessing his horrible break down the night before...?
He turned around and looked towards the back row in the class...
Lelouch was sleeping again... unnoticed by the teacher did he lean his head on his arm and rested with his eyes closed and it was then that he noticed the eye patch...
The patch... why was he wearing it...?
It wasn’t something that he could place in his line of events...

“Kururugi Suzaku! Pay attention! Read page 46!”

He gulped before answering his teacher...
Grabbing his book as he stood up straight to read the sentences out loud...
His eye patch... he would have to ask him about it...
But most importantly he would have to ask him about his feelings...

Unknown to him did the Prince watch as he read his part...
Hand still stuck underneath his chin as his fingers tabbed against his cheek...
Kururugi Suzaku...
He could only fixate on his name...
It was the only thing he could think about... other than that he could only focus on his heart...
The thumping feeling... whenever he was looking at him...
He sighed as he averted his eyes once more...
He just made things even more complicated then they already were...
By kissing him... by having tears afterwards... how stupid could he be...
To wonder if the Suzaku he had witnessed was different from the one he knew...
What a stupid question...!

And now... now he was stuck with even more confusion...
His heart was beating so fast every time he saw him...
But his tears... why was he crying at that time...
These feelings... they weren’t like the ones he had felt before...
The fear was gone... but what had replaced it... it scared him...
The future scared him... it would only cause trouble...
It wouldn’t last...

He looked up again when he heard the bell ring...
It signalled the end of their period and the start of their break time... but, he wasn’t planning on staying here...
In fact he wanted to take his belongings and get out of the classroom as fast as possible...
That was until his teacher called his name...

“...I would like a word with you now...”

He frowned and mentally cursed the interruption...
The other students were already chatting and were getting out their lunches, he noticed them as he packed his own belongings before following his teacher...
Taking one last glance towards the source of his frustration before walking out...
He noticed something... Suzaku looked at him and he recognised the signal he was giving him...
A hand gripping his collar and pulling it upwards...

Let’s talk together on the roof...

That was what it meant... however he wasn’t in the mood for any talking...
Not with his heart still beating as if it was trying to force its way out of his chest...
His talk with his teacher was short and went without trouble...
He had asked him about his absence and wondered why he was wearing an eye patch in class...
The solution was simply... he told his teacher that he was sick and when they were alone in his office did he geass him in believing that he had some sort of accident... with his sight gone on one side it would be useless in the open and the scar he had received was better to remain covered to preserve a calm atmosphere in the class and of course for him as well...

He found himself standing at the bottom of the last set of stairs that would lead him to the rooftop...
He didn’t want to go... he didn’t wanted to face the truth...
The consequences of this would they be worth it...? or would they just make everything worse...
He thought of that as he walked up the steps... why did it suddenly feel as if he was climbing a mountain of some sort...?
He sighed before opening the door...

Suzaku was there... his hands on the stone rail as he probably had spend this time alone to watch over the ground...
He turned to him and smiled when he saw him...
Lelouch couldn’t help but blush as he closed the door behind him... walking up to him a minute later to lean on the same railing next to him...

“Your lip is almost back to normal...”

Suzaku was looking at him from his right, but the Prince said nothing and merely stared forward towards the clouds and rooftops before him...
He could feel him stare of course and eventually sighed before closing his eyes...

“The marks are almost gone too...”

Suzaku smiled and answered...

“I’m glad...”

He hated his calmness and the lack of Suzaku’s courage to continue to talk about what he really wanted to know...
Of course Lelouch knew... he wasn’t stupid... the kiss... it was all that Suzaku could probably think about...

“I’m sorry...”

He eventually said to the Japanese...
But as he expected Suzaku couldn’t understand why he was apologizing...
Suzaku looked at him, confused by his sudden sentence...

“For what...?”

“Kissing you... taking advantage of you like that...”

Suzaku laughed a little before turning his gaze to the same view as the Prince...
It wasn’t as if he felt used by him... but the memories of that kiss made him confused... specially when it came to his tears...

“Why did you cry then...? Was it that difficult...?”

Lelouch shifted his arms out of discomfort...
His eyes turning to slits as he answered...

“I guess it has to do with... you know... before...”

It made Suzaku think as if he was kissed out of pity instead of the thing he hoped it to be...
But Lelouch continued and this made him look at him with a surprised expression...

“But I don’t regret it... no, in fact it made me realise something...”

The consequences that this would bring forth...
He was willing to take them...
His heart was beating so fast right now... if he wasn’t leaning against the railing he would be sure to fall down on the floor because of his wobbly legs... his cheeks were bright red and he tried to hide them as he dug further against his arms...
This could just be the greatest mistake in his plans... but for once there was something he couldn’t predict and that was his heart...
And for once did he follow it instead of the facts he knew...

“You...”

“I didn’t kiss you out of pity you know...”

Suzaku was flustered and remained still as he continued...

“I kissed you... because...”

These words... they were said from his heart...
They were the truth but partly also a lie... because he didn’t tell him the whole truth...

“I wanted to know you... because you’ve been hiding it for so long...”

The truth that he was Zero... fighting for a better world for his younger sister to live in...
Fighting to kill the one man he loathed his entire life...
Fighting to avenge the maiden who died in front of him... his mother...
And now also fighting to keep these secrets from his friend but to also protect him in his progress...

“Because it felt as if after all these years... I hardly knew the real you... Suzaku...”

Kururugi Suzaku would he his...
And he would be a part of him... not only for future use but also because he wants him so badly...

“If it is you... then it’s alright... because I...”

He dug his face into his arms as he continued...

“I like a lot... more than I actually realised...”

Lelouch may know a lot about facts but his heart... it was still a complete mystery...
He finally looked up to see Suzaku’s face... though was surprised to see him completely frozen stiff...
As if his words had turned him to stone did he stand, his mouth still half open as if he was trying to say something...
He even became worried for a moment and placed his own hand on top of his, squeezing it gently as he called out his name...

“Suzaku...?”

“I’m glad...”

His eyes widened as he witnessed tears rolling out of the Japanese’s eyes...
It was the first time since years that he had seen him cry...
But these tears didn’t carry sadness, in fact they carried great happiness to the relieved boy...

“What’s wrong...?”

He asked him, but Suzaku rose his hand and kissed the top of it before whipping his tears away...

“Just glad that’s all...”

“Idiot...”

Lelouch whispered as he retreated his hand... though Suzaku leaned forward and pecked his cheek...
Lelouch gasped slightly as he quickly covered the spot and looked at the Japanese with an alarming look...

“You’re not doing that in front of Milly... in fact not in front of anyone!”

Suzaku looked away as if he was trying to think it over like a pouting child... but eventually smiled again as he leaned closer, their faces only inches apart as Lelouch leaned back...
Finding himself stuck in a familiar position again... between him and an obstacle...

“Suzaku...”

“Can I...?”

Suzaku looked slightly sad and pleading as he asked it...
He was asking for permission which was a huge difference between what he had already witnessed him do several days ago...
But those acts were blocked out... with force did he try to forget about them...
Thought he shaking feeling of his hands never left... and even now they were shaking... as if he had to be afraid of something...
He guessed that the only way to get rid of it was to get used to it...

“Of course... but don’t act too hasted...”

Suzaku smiled as he leaned forward, kissing him passionate and deeply as one hand made its way around Lelouch waist...
The Prince groaned slightly at this feeling... this deep kiss... it was certainly different from the other one he received before... this kiss... he could taste it... the passion and love...
His hands gripped Suzaku’s uniform as they parted...
Lelouch looked flustered and Suzaku laughed a little before stepping away again...
They eventually left to continue their classes...

“Ne, Lelouch... what happened to your eye anyway?”

“That stupid cat did that to me...”