"Maybes" [Code Geass fanfiction]

[maple-tea.livejournal.com]

Title: Maybes
Authour: Ichigo (maple_tea)
Characters/Pairings: Suzaku. Has mentions of SuzakuxEuphemia
Genre: Angst with a smidge of romance
Rating: PG
Notes: Very first fanfic posted here and my first Code Geass fanfic. Also, just in case, spoilers for episode 23 of season 1.



In another world, this wouldn't have happened. In another world, things would be better.

Kururugi Suzaku thinks these kinds of thoughts to himself over, over, over again as he clutches to his deceased princess' hand, swearing silently to himself not to let go until his hands burn from the icy cold of her skin.

But not now, for now he'll mourn, and reflect on all the maybes a different world would present to him.

Maybe he wouldn't have met Lelouch again, and would be living devoid of friendship.

Maybe he wouldn't have met Euphemia, and he wouldn't know love.

Maybe Zero wouldn't exist, and he wouldn't know anger.

Maybe he wouldn't have killed his father, and he wouldn't know self-loathing.

Maybe Euphemia wouldn't have died, and he wouldn't know such profound sadness.

But this world isn't his world. He knows all these things (friendship,love,anger,self-loathing,sadness) and it does him no good. Here his princess is dead, he's clinging to her cold hand, willing himself to imagine there's still warmth and life in, and under, the too-pale skin. He clings to this notion like a drowning man clings to a lifeline, because he knows she is the lifeline that tethers him down. The lifeline that prevents him from leaping into the chasms of insanity...

But not now, for now he'll think of what if Euphemia's death wasn't the end of him.

Maybe he'll find someone else to love, one who fills him with the same warmth and buzzing happiness as Euphemia does, did.

Maybe, he'll against all odds, ask her to marry him, and she would accept.

Maybe, one day, he'll be tucking his and her children into their coats before shooing them out the door, out into the Japan of a brighter future.

Maybe he'll be surrounded by such overwhelming happiness that he can look back on this day, on Euphemia, her warmth that granted him happiness becoming just a pleasant memory.

But not now, for now he'll mourn her and forget all the maybes.


Comments and criticism are much obliged! :3